Why You Should Wait to Write Your Story
Some stories need to wait longer than others
I have many stories to tell, but only a small portion of them are ready to be told.
Instead of writing about things that happen in my life as they happen, I prefer to take time to reflect on them. Some events take longer to reflect on than others. For example, processing the loss of an important person might take much longer to process than a silly conversation.
For strong emotional pieces about the loss of a family member, you might want to take months or even years before you write about it. I remember when the pandemic emerged, and most of my writer friends said it was too soon to write about it.
They weren’t wrong. I was in the middle of writing a book that was supposed to end in 2020, but I decided to back the timeline up a year to avoid having to explain the COVID-19 pandemic. (This book still needs lots of editing before I can make it public.)
In general, writing during the pandemic was hard for some, myself included. Why was that?
Traumatizing events make it difficult to process emotions.
As a result, many of us become creatively blocked, so we can’t write anything at all. Of course, we can’t even begin to write about the challenge we’re facing.
I’ve only started to fully process some of the adversities I’ve faced in my life. Medium has provided me an outlet to dissect these events, and because of that, I’m processing my struggles much faster than before I joined Medium.
These are some posts I’ve written about difficult events in my life:
These posts provide great detail and introspection about events that happened a long time ago. While I have written about these topics in the past — my college entrance essay was about these topics — I’ve never written about these subjects with such depth and reflection.
However, I’ve also recently written some light-hearted posts about events that happened a long time ago, such as this one:
I’ve always wanted to write a story about my California trip because it was something that made such an impact on my perspective on life. It was the first time I traveled solo, which is something I think everyone should do at least once in their lifetime. It was never the right time to process these events until recently.
Why Wait
Time changes our perspective
The more time that passes, the more insight we gain into what happened. What seemed like the end of the world may turn out to be a learning experience.
My perception has changed immensely on my eyesight. My college essay focused on “breaking through the clouds” and finally being able to see clearly. Now, I’ve accepted my vision isn’t perfect, and I’m okay with where I’m at with it.
You don’t know how the story ends
Every story has a beginning, middle, and end. You might be living in the climax right now. You can’t tell a story until you know every piece of it. Wait until you reach a proper resolution to write the story in full.
In the meantime, take notes of the important details along the way, so you don’t forget them when it’s time to write the full story.
The emotions are too powerful
I’ve never written out the specific details of what happened the day my dad died. Even 28 years after his death, I get emotional talking about it. Sometimes emotions are too raw and painful, and we need to wait to write these stories until we’re ready.
You need time to process it
I always wanted to write about my solo trip to California, but I needed more time to process it. I had an opportunity to think about it again when I wrote an article about solo camping for a client last year. Now seemed like the perfect time to tell this story.
Ways to process your emotions:
- Journaling
- Practicing mindfulness, such as yoga or meditation
- Talking to a therapist
Just Wait
If you’re struggling to write about something that happened to you, don’t force yourself to write it. You’re not ready to process the emotions. You should never force yourself to write about a topic, even if you know it’ll make a good story.
And it will make a good story someday. Just not today.