Why You Should Swear that You’ll Stop Swearing
Take back control of your emotions
Are you ******* kidding me?!?
Raise your hand if this has been your immediate, knee-jerk reaction to a less than ideal situation.
(Proceeds to raise hand)
The most timestamped moment in my mind came during a tense exchange with a co-worker a few years back. I had just completed a difficult phone call with a client, only to be the victim of my colleagues horsing around which, in fairness, was completely in line with our office culture.
Yet I had enough. The timing couldn’t have been worse and I unleashed a curse-laden tirade in a very public way.
To say that my emotions got the best of me that day would be an understatement. Thankfully I worked in an environment where this wasn’t exactly uncommon, so ultimately the end result was “no harm, no foul.”
Why Are You Swearing?
It was right around this time that I read an article about how pain can be reduced when we swear. I found this to be immensely interesting. So say I stub my toe, you’re telling me that if I go on a cursing spree that it will help reduce my pain?
Science seems to say so.
What science does not say is that by overusing this superpower you can reduce its overall effectiveness. Yet that’s exactly where my brain went after too many instances of knee-jerk emotions getting the best of me.
However by taking this point of view, I began to wonder, why am I swearing?
To answer this question I had to start taking note of the situations where I would catch myself swearing. A few frequent offenders were:
- In the car
- When anything went slightly wrong
- When anything went really wrong
- During casual conversation
- Basically anytime where I wasn’t around my parents
While I was swearing in most situations for various reasons one thing became clear; I swore the most as an initial reaction to when something didn’t go exactly right.
For me, swearing became a knee-jerk reaction to the figurative stubbed toes of life. I allowed my emotions to rule my tongue and in turn, allowed for a much hotter collar than necessary and a propensity to look childish through it all.
So if swearing was a symptom of my frustrations and negative emotions, what would it look like if I just, stopped?
Initial Findings
I came to the conclusion that I should go cold turkey from swearing. I was determined to take back my emotions and to better represent myself in all facets of my life.
What surprised me is how much easier this was to do than I expected.
See, one would think that a habit of 15 or so years would be more difficult to control. Sure I had my slip-ups, but generally speaking, I found myself swearing less.
Much less.
This reduced level of swearing brought about an effect that I didn’t anticipate. I was suddenly speaking with much more intentionality while also finding it easier to keep my emotions in check.
How could this be?
With hindsight always being 20/20 by severing swearing from my life I, in essence, eliminated my knee-jerk reactions to negative emotions. I was suddenly forced to pause, gather my thoughts, and use softer words to convey my feelings.
My emotions were also no longer as, shall we say, passionate. In fact, the extra few moments it took me to articulate my thoughts without cursing like a sailor (sorry, sailors) in and of itself acted as a way of diffusing my elevated emotions.
Further Observations
A curse-free life was garnering immediate results. I suddenly didn’t have such a hot-headed, uncontrollable temper, while also using language that better fit my age while lowering my overall stress levels because I began processing negative emotions more thoroughly.
But wait, there’s more!
I started to notice that relationships in my life began to improve as well.
- The colleagues with whom I didn’t always see eye to eye with became more tolerable.
- Occasionally tense familial matters didn’t have the same propensity for becoming unnecessarily elevated.
- Even conflicts with my (now) wife didn’t spiral down a rabbit hole of negative emotion.
A swear-free lifestyle was positive on all fronts and to be honest, it wasn’t vocabulary or expression that I found myself missing. If anything I felt more in control and more eloquent in my communication, bringing a sense of both peace and confidence that I didn’t have prior.
A Challenge to You
This whole curse-free lifestyle might sound petty to you, and that’s okay. I’ll blatantly admit that for many it may not even be necessary.
But if you’re someone who has a reputation for being hot-tempered. If you know you fly off the handle over situations that deserve a far more controlled response. Going swear-free may be an experiment you need to try.
To get started follow these three steps:
- Commit: Pick a start date (January 1st, 2022 *cough, cough*) and end date where you will avoid swearing at all costs.
- Journal: Whether it’s shortly after the moment or at the end of the day, take note of how avoiding swearing impacted your emotions and interactions.
- Reflect: At the conclusion of your committed period of time, take a look back and reflect on how things have changed for you. Did you miss swearing? Was it easier for you to process emotions? Did you avoid unnecessary conflict? Do you feel more in control of your words?
At worst the experiment will feel like a silly waste of time. At best you’ll realize that you learn that you aren’t as in control of your tongue as you thought you were and changes were necessary.
Regardless of the end result, from personal experience, I’d say that the experiment is worth the try.
So I must admit that I still swear here and there. Nothing like letting out a “damnit!” or “what the hell?!” from time to time.
(Real rebel, I know.)
But one thing is for sure, four years into living a virtually curse-free life, I can honestly say that my life has improved for the better and I have no desire to bring back the vulgarity.
As with all advice, results may vary, ask your doctor before starting a curse-less regimen.
But you just might find that through better control of your tongue you have better control over your mind. And if something as simple as the vocabulary that you use can have better control over your mind, it’s worth a try.
Let me know how it goes, I swear that you’ll thank me.