Personal Stories
Why You Should Not Respond to my English Essay in Chinese
I take offense, so stop
A few days ago, I took offense when a reader commented on one of my articles in romanized Chinese:
“xie xie ni, hao peng you”
In English, the comment means, “thank you, good friend.” Nothing more, nothing less. It sounds petty, and I know I should have been mature enough to take it as a form of pleasantry. Yet, I felt so offended that it remains the first and only comment that I have neither clapped nor responded to.
Please do not try to find the comment because I have hidden it to protect the reader’s identity. I am here to start a conversation, not a he-said-she-said social media feud.
I discussed it with my friends offline, and their reactions to the comment were mixed. I honestly thought that I was overly sensitive — I still think I was — and that I was probably the only one who would feel offended by that comment. I feel compelled to write about it now after learning about a similar experience Sarah Tiong had with a radio host. My purpose here is to highlight that greeting someone who looks Asian in Chinese could come across as presumptuous.
Sarah Tiong’s story
A few days ago, a local radio station in Australia interviewed Sarah, a contestant in MasterChef Australia. The radio host began the interview by greeting Sarah with “ni hao ma.” This greeting translates into “How are you?” If it was in English, it would have been non-offensive, friendly, and even endearing.
However, Sarah took offense because the radio host greeted her in Mandarin. The following is what Sarah had to say to her followers on Instagram:
“It is rude and privileged to assume that I understand that Asian language, just because I appear of that descent.”
- Sarah Tiong on Instagram
In my opinion, Sarah was right to feel offended. Sarah was born and raised in Sydney, she identifies as Australian, and her first language is English. By greeting Sarah in Mandarin, the radio host subconsciously assumes, by the color of her skin, that Sarah would feel more comfortable being greeted in Mandarin.
Why do I find it offensive?
In my case, I find the comment “xie xie ni, peng you” offensive because the reader wrote it in response to a 1,400-word essay written in English. The comment thanked me and even called me a ‘good friend’. Yet, all that crossed my mind was, “does this user think I used Google translate to write an article in English?” Those few words felt dismissive and akin to a slap in the face even if the reader probably never intended it to be so.
I have never claimed to be able to speak or understand Chinese in any of my articles. Based on what I have shared on Medium, the only clues that hint at my Chinese proficiency are my name and the color of my skin.
For the record, yes, I speak Mandarin but English is my first language.
However, the color of my skin should not have been a determinant of the language that I speak. I know of people who are ethnically Chinese but are unable to speak or write Chinese. There are also people of Asian descent living outside of Asia who have never spoken an Asian language their entire lives. Therefore, it is wrong to assume that someone can speak an Asian language because of their name, how they look, or their place of descent.
Of course, I know the user probably meant well
Despite how petty and offended I feel about the situation, I am aware that the reader likely held no malicious intent. The reader probably thought that I would be pleased to encounter someone who appreciates my cultural identity.
However, there are other ways that the reader could have better conveyed his good intentions. For instance, it would have been less offensive if the greeting preceded a few thoughtful sentences in response to my article. It would then demonstrate the reader’s engagement with my post beyond pointing out that I am a Chinese who can miraculously write legibly in English.
In Sarah’s case, I believe the radio host perceived his greeting as a kind gesture to help Sarah feel comfortable speaking over the radio. Sarah was right to feel offended, but as Holly Jahangiri pointed out, it may have been too much of a stretch for Sarah to accuse the radio host of racism.
Final Thoughts
In writing this article, I pondered about how quickly we conclude what does or does not constitute racism. I realize now that when I label someone as ‘racist,’ I also consider the intentions of the offending individual. If it is a harmless, well-meaning comment, the comment may be offensive but it is not racist.
With all that has been going on, I think we should be quite clear about where we draw the line in the labels that we use.
I love engaging with writers on Medium and elsewhere. However, I find it discomfiting to have our interactions influenced by my racial identity. If Sarah and I feel the same when spoken to in Chinese — despite not revealing our Chinese proficiency — it should be safe to expect that others would feel the same.
If you have had similar experiences before, please share it with me in the comments section. If you disagree with me, or if you feel that I am petty and overly sensitive, please let me know your reasons too. I would love to keep this conversation going. Let’s be more sensitive towards one another, and let’s appreciate each other’s words without jumping to unnecessary conclusions.
Ming Qian is a freelance writer and an undergrad blogger who is currently pursuing a degree in Economics. Subscribe to his monthly newsletter to never miss any story that he publishes here and on his blog!
