Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

our ideology, your country, your race, your football team, all of that make you who you are. You rarely support a view that goes against the grain because you’d have to pay a high social price for it — ostracization.</p><p id="dd7a">We, humans, evolved in the Savannah helping and supporting each other. Our goal was survival, not being right or rational, and belonging to the tribe gave us the biggest chance to live for another day.</p><h1 id="4c35">Groupthink</h1><p id="d93d">Be careful about the tribes you join, once you are inside you’ll be totally blind to any external source that challenges the views of the group.</p><p id="57d2">If you hang out with nerds, Instagrammers, or planespotters, you’ll end up sharing their views of the world. Nothing wrong with that per se but keep it in mind because you’ll lose objectivity.</p><p id="9222">Taken to an extreme, groupthink can lead to destructive behavior, violence, drugs, or even death. Cults are built taking advantage of the many blindspots we have when it comes to sociability.</p><h1 id="1f23">Cycling</h1><p id="8a10">A few years ago I decided to take up cycling. Before that, I didn’t have a particularly positive view of the sport. I used to call them MAMILs (Middle Age Men In Lycra) but now that I’m one of them, I’ve completely changed my views.</p><p id="a25e">When was I right, before or now? Before I had no idea what the sport was about, and now I’m a victim of groupthink — I live and breathe bicycles.</p><p id="bb75">The point here is to realize our own bias and try from time to time to question everything and start afresh in order to see things for what they are.</p><p id="9bde">So, if facts don’t matter, how can you make your point across when trying to help someone who is clearly making a huge mistake?</p><p id="d93e">Let’s say your friend keeps smoking despite knowing the risks. What can you do to get her to see that?</p><p id="99c3">Here’s what will give you better chances of success:</p><h1 id="5f06">Remain calm</h1><p id="c7eb">Getting agitated and calling people names while pointing at the facts won’t do the trick, in fact, it’ll have the opposite effect.</p><p id="0fe8">Try to detach yourself from the situation and become an observer rather than a passionate interlocutor. Realize that you don’t necessarily know the ultimate truth and that there is a small chance you could be wrong.</p><h1 id="64cd">Find common points</h1><p id="f137">There has to be something you both agree on. Find those common points and work from there. Let the conve

Options

rsation be a discovery rather than you pontificating from your ivory tower.</p><h1 id="273f">Ask questions</h1><p id="dd28">How did you come to that conclusion? Did you used to think differently? What made you change your mind? What new evidence could change your mind again?</p><p id="27b6">These kind of questions will make the person look inward and reflect on her own reasons. If you keep asking, he’ll eventually realize that there are some flaws in his reasoning and that’s already progress.</p><h1 id="e786">Be kind</h1><p id="458a">You can only make your point across if they don’t see you as an adversary. Show empathy, try to understand what reasons do they have to think that way. Once they see you as a friend and you have developed trust, it’s much easier to lower the barriers.</p><h1 id="12fe">Acknowledge understanding</h1><p id="f423">Try to see some value in their logic and let them know. Don’t fake it though. Even the most radical views might have a point. Even if you hate Donald Trump, guns, or environmental warriors, acknowledge that they are not always 100% wrong.</p><h1 id="83e4">Separate identity from opinions</h1><p id="0fb3">Changing one’s mind is difficult because we often identify with our views. But you can change your mind and still be you. If you manage to understand this and communicate it effectively, you’ll have a better chance to make your point across.</p><h1 id="6e57">Conclusion</h1><p id="c2b2">You are totally right. You have made up your mind after years of deliberation and reasoning. Everybody else that doesn’t agree with you is either an idiot or a liar. Don’t let them get away with that. Force them to see the truth even if they don’t want to. What the F*ck do they know anyway?</p><p id="7569">Not the best approach.</p><p id="8be3">That’s how most of us go through life and that’s why is so hard to communicate. We have changed our minds many times before and we might be wrong about this one also. Taking a hard position when trying to make your point is counterproductive.</p><p id="2fb9">Forget about facts and raw logic. Use empathy and let them try to explain their view. In doing so they’ll realize some flaws in their theory and that’s already a start.</p><p id="61a9">Remember, everybody is a bit lost nowadays with this information overload and no truths are universal or timeless. We are just monkeys that got off the trees a few centuries ago. Let’s give ourselves some slack.</p><p id="cf84">Be nice to people, you never know what they’ve been through.</p></article></body>

Why You Should Never Use Facts to Get Your Point Across

It just doesn’t work

If you have ever had the pleasure of talking to a creationist, a flat-earther, or an anti-VAX, you’ve probably noticed that no matter how rational your argument is, how many facts you put on the table and how much evidence there is in your favor, they just won’t buy it.

But it’s not just them, it’s you also.

It’s easy to make fun of radical ideas or conspiracy theories and dismiss those who support them as loony but the fact is that you and I are completely irrational most of the time also.

No matter how many degrees you have or how many books you’ve read, you are probably biased about many subjects and you will never change your mind no matter what.

Seeing irrational behavior in others is much easier than seeing in ourselves. But we should make an effort from time to time to escape our own bubble and see the world with fresh eyes. After all, what makes you think you are right?

First impressions

Whenever you discover a new trend, technology, or idea you make up your mind really quickly, almost at first sight. You quickly label the subject either negative or positive and by then, changing your mind will take tons of counterevidence that you didn’t need to form an opinion in the first place.

The news

Often we get our first impressions from the news which aren’t particularly objective about anything.

Most of what you hear or read is designed to shock, impress or scare. They want you to stay watching so they use FUD and appeal to your reptilian mind.

People are scared of flying, traveling, or going out because of what they see in the news. Availability bias makes us think that unlikely events happen all the time when in fact they’re extremely rare.

Tribalism

You belong to many tribes and you think exactly like them, whether you like it or not. Your ideology, your country, your race, your football team, all of that make you who you are. You rarely support a view that goes against the grain because you’d have to pay a high social price for it — ostracization.

We, humans, evolved in the Savannah helping and supporting each other. Our goal was survival, not being right or rational, and belonging to the tribe gave us the biggest chance to live for another day.

Groupthink

Be careful about the tribes you join, once you are inside you’ll be totally blind to any external source that challenges the views of the group.

If you hang out with nerds, Instagrammers, or planespotters, you’ll end up sharing their views of the world. Nothing wrong with that per se but keep it in mind because you’ll lose objectivity.

Taken to an extreme, groupthink can lead to destructive behavior, violence, drugs, or even death. Cults are built taking advantage of the many blindspots we have when it comes to sociability.

Cycling

A few years ago I decided to take up cycling. Before that, I didn’t have a particularly positive view of the sport. I used to call them MAMILs (Middle Age Men In Lycra) but now that I’m one of them, I’ve completely changed my views.

When was I right, before or now? Before I had no idea what the sport was about, and now I’m a victim of groupthink — I live and breathe bicycles.

The point here is to realize our own bias and try from time to time to question everything and start afresh in order to see things for what they are.

So, if facts don’t matter, how can you make your point across when trying to help someone who is clearly making a huge mistake?

Let’s say your friend keeps smoking despite knowing the risks. What can you do to get her to see that?

Here’s what will give you better chances of success:

Remain calm

Getting agitated and calling people names while pointing at the facts won’t do the trick, in fact, it’ll have the opposite effect.

Try to detach yourself from the situation and become an observer rather than a passionate interlocutor. Realize that you don’t necessarily know the ultimate truth and that there is a small chance you could be wrong.

Find common points

There has to be something you both agree on. Find those common points and work from there. Let the conversation be a discovery rather than you pontificating from your ivory tower.

Ask questions

How did you come to that conclusion? Did you used to think differently? What made you change your mind? What new evidence could change your mind again?

These kind of questions will make the person look inward and reflect on her own reasons. If you keep asking, he’ll eventually realize that there are some flaws in his reasoning and that’s already progress.

Be kind

You can only make your point across if they don’t see you as an adversary. Show empathy, try to understand what reasons do they have to think that way. Once they see you as a friend and you have developed trust, it’s much easier to lower the barriers.

Acknowledge understanding

Try to see some value in their logic and let them know. Don’t fake it though. Even the most radical views might have a point. Even if you hate Donald Trump, guns, or environmental warriors, acknowledge that they are not always 100% wrong.

Separate identity from opinions

Changing one’s mind is difficult because we often identify with our views. But you can change your mind and still be you. If you manage to understand this and communicate it effectively, you’ll have a better chance to make your point across.

Conclusion

You are totally right. You have made up your mind after years of deliberation and reasoning. Everybody else that doesn’t agree with you is either an idiot or a liar. Don’t let them get away with that. Force them to see the truth even if they don’t want to. What the F*ck do they know anyway?

Not the best approach.

That’s how most of us go through life and that’s why is so hard to communicate. We have changed our minds many times before and we might be wrong about this one also. Taking a hard position when trying to make your point is counterproductive.

Forget about facts and raw logic. Use empathy and let them try to explain their view. In doing so they’ll realize some flaws in their theory and that’s already a start.

Remember, everybody is a bit lost nowadays with this information overload and no truths are universal or timeless. We are just monkeys that got off the trees a few centuries ago. Let’s give ourselves some slack.

Be nice to people, you never know what they’ve been through.