Personal Development
Why You Should Move Out
And never go back
How it all started
“There comes a point when we have to say, I’m here to love my life, and to figure out who I am…Not who you think I should be.” - Sharon Pearson
I moved out of my parents’ home at the age of 17. I had just been accepted to University and despite it only being an hour away from home, I knew this was the time to start my journey of autonomy. Growing up, I was always the child who wanted to do everything herself. I wanted to paint my room, I wanted to be the boss, I wanted to be an adult already. I was the ‘rebel’ between my sister and me; I dread to ask my parents what it was like to handle me when I was young.
So when there was a legitimate excuse to get out and face the world on my own, I jumped at the chance. I didn’t get accepted into the campus residence, so instead, my dad and I went on the hunt to find me a place. After an aggravating search, I found my perfect match, ironically on Kijiji, the sketchiest of all platforms. It was a two-bedroom apartment right in the downtown core, and I would live with a roommate who was older and finished school, which I felt was good for me (to keep me in-line).
When the time came to physically move out, I got scared. On move-in day I had a panic attack in public, and I cried when my parents left. My stubborn little self finally broke down and admitted to vulnerability.
After a couple of weeks living on my own, I started to get into a routine and grew to be confident in the decision I made. My boyfriend also lived downtown, about a 15-minute walk away, so that provided me with a great support system.
Four years later and I am still kickin’ it in Toronto, no parents to be found. I have been living with my boyfriend for three years now (I said goodbye to my lovely roomie after one year), and this journey of autonomy has been nothing but wonderful.
Why say bye?
“It is so hard to leave — until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.” -John Green
Yes, living on your own is way more expensive, scary, and stupid if you want to rent and also want to buy a home in two years. And yes, I miss my parents. However, there are countless benefits to the decision as well. After four years of experience, here are my top four pros of living away from my parents.
Independence: You can do whatever the hell you want. Do you want to stay up until 3 am blasting rock music? Go for it! Do you want to get intimate with your partner on the kitchen table? Go crazy! Being in charge of your own space is empowering and exciting. As much as I love my parents, I still had a curfew, I was still commanded to do chores, and I lacked privacy in my parents’ home; when I was perfectly capable of getting home at a responsible time, happy to clean up after myself, and finally wanted a make-out session to occur in peace.
Responsibility: Living on your own is a great way to get your shit together, fast. When you peace out of your parents’ place you are obligated to learn how to pay your rent, organize your schedule, keep your fridge full, etc. In my first year of university, I gained commendable budgeting skills, a grocery shopping routine, much needed street smarts, that the majority of my commuting peers weren’t even close to learning.
Not to sound like a dick, but I also feel I am more mature than my older sister because she still lives at home and I live on my own. Don’t get me wrong, she makes WAY more money than me and is capable of owning a home, but if we had a conversation about homeowner business and personal management, I would know significantly more than her (I’m just a bit competitive).
Positive pressure: Because you have so many responsibilities to keep up with when you are out on your own, there’s a great feeling of pressure to make money, and a lot of it. I worked a full-time job every year of my degree to take care of my bills. It was extremely exhausting and looking back on it I have no idea how I did it, but I did. I don’t regret a thing because I graduated uni with minimal debt, I started to invest in my future and retirement, and I joined multiple healthy friend groups as a result of my occupational experience.
Experience: In general, living on your own forces you to experience a lot more than you would living at home. I grew up in a town that is filled with white privilege and suburban mentality. Living in the city, I have become so passionate about women’s rights, human rights, international culture, and much more, because of the networking I have done. I have met outstanding people through work, through friends, and even through walking down the street. I have become distant with quite a few people back home because they live with very different views then me now. I don’t mind, as I am very proud of my community. I have gone to more concerts, exhibitions, and events because of how close I was to them being in the city. I have access to some of the best food in Canada, and I can order it on Uber Eats… To my house… Right now!
I am not trying to persuade you or anything, or am I?
Wanna try?
“I can resist anything except temptation.” -Oscar Wilde
If moving out is something that tickles your fancy, I am very excited for you. But I also understand that it is intimidating and overwhelming to think about. Know you are not alone and there are many resources out there to help you start your journey. I know I researched 24/7 for about six months in preparation for my farewell. Here are some some helpful links for your referencing pleasure.
