Why You Should Be Proud Of Yourself
As a woman who has a lot of insecurities, who has been through a lot, who fails a lot in her life, I can say that I’m learning to be proud of myself.
I’m failing a lot in my life. I was never proud of myself. Not even if I knew I did well with everything I did.
I’m the most insecure person on the planet
That I’m insecure about myself, about what I’m doing, everything that crosses my path, my personality towards others, has everything to do that I have been bullied and abused in the past. Because of this, I have become an insecure human being, who feels deeply and when I feel right, I still do the opposite as I just believe everything people say about me as a person. Nowadays, I don’t listen to others, only when my gut knows I have to.
Even when I know it from my gut I am right, I am too insecure to do what II want to do, even if I know I should have done it. I’m not doing it, because I think people don’t like what I’m doing. That my opinions don’t matter at all. That I will say stupid things.
I know, it’s sad I’m thinking like this, but when you’ve been through a lot of negative situations, you’re doubting about your abilities and your qualities you have as a human being. You can say to not pay attention to such people, but it is easier said than done. I wasn’t really proud of myself. I thought I couldn’t do anything at all. That’s what people were telling me all the time. I believed them. I was a child, a young adult.
I believed everyone told me was true, thus the things they thought about me.
Going into therapy helps
Now I have been into therapy, I know that it isn’t true what others are saying, that I have a voice too. I am a human being. A person with feelings, thoughts, and interests.
Because of my first therapist, I started believing in myself again. He let me believe I am an existing person. Someone who is worth being on the planet. That I have been through a lot, is what I have to deal with, but that I can “heal” from it in a certain way that fits with as a person. He taught me to show my boundaries and to stick with my boundaries.
It is going slowly, having my ups and downs. But I’m getting there. Sometimes I still think I’m not worth it or doubting my abilities to do anything. It is not a depression, but like I’ve been brainwashed that I can’t do anything. Such as having no skills to work with. But deeply, I know it will be ok. It will be fine and I will get where I want to get.
Being proud of yourself
Nowadays, I can be proud of myself. When I achieved something I’ve done I try to be proud of what I have achieved. Even if it is a small goal I have done. It will be a big step forward, even it is a little small thing you did. You may be proud of yourself.
What happens when you’re proud of yourself by doing that small goal? When I have achieved small goals, now I’m happy I did it. And thanks to my first therapist.
In my younger days, I looked at the big picture and when things didn’t work out as planned I blamed myself I didn’t do my best. But I did do my best, but I believed I had to work or do things all the time. I was just too insecure to believe in myself.
You should be proud of yourself because you can do something. You have skills you should use in your life. You’re worth living and you’re worth it to spread your thoughts and ideas. It took me years to understand this. Now I do a little bit more. It takes time to practice it.
Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.
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