REJECTION SENSITIVITY

Why You Need To Stop Whining About Being Ghosted

People don’t owe you anything, especially their time

Ghosting is when a person cuts off contact with someone without any explanation at all.

Many claim the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference and that’s why ghosting hurts so much. Rather, I think the problem with ghosting has more to do with people with low self-esteem taking longer to get over it because they are naturally more sensitive to rejection.

Personally, I feel that ghosting someone is a perfectly acceptable way of ending a relationship. I have had many experiences where I texted someone and never heard back, and likewise, I stopped texting people and that was the end of it. I think when you stop responding to someone or block them it is obvious that you do not want to be contacted anymore. I also don’t see this way of breaking off a relationship as offensive or rude in any way.

Almost all my relationships ended with me blocking someone’s phone number.

I see it as a non-confrontational way of dealing with things. I do not understand the need to take the time to explain my reasoning before ceasing future communications and, neither do I expect the other side to do this.

While I understand being ghosted hurts and the rejection can be painful, I feel that relationships come to an end all the time and this is a natural part of life. People go through breakups and lose people they love in other ways too. If people can cope with bereavement, which everyone has to experience and deal with at some point in their lifetime, why not ghosting?

There are many different reasons why someone might have ghosted you;

• They are concerned for their own safety. They may be afraid that confrontation may put them at risk and feel that ghosting is the safest way to deal with things. For instance, when leaving an abusive relationship, ghosting may be the only viable option.
• They have moved on. A lot of people ghost because they no longer want to be in a relationship with someone and prefer to just stop responding as they see this as the simplest and most convenient way to deal with things.
• They are afraid of being vulnerable. They may be anxious about ending the relationship because they struggle with hard conversations that involve vulnerability in general and simply blocking someone may be easier for them.
• They are busy. Sometimes people ghost because they have a lot going on in their personal lives. They may be distracted by other things, or stressed because of other issues including mental health problems.

In my experience, most of the time if someone is ghosting you, it means two things;

Either they think you’re being toxic, in which case they don’t owe you an explanation, or they simply don’t value the relationship enough to bother giving you an explanation.

If the latter, I look at it as a positive when it happens to me because it just means the relationship wasn’t meant to be and someone who doesn’t care about you just walked away from your life. This is a cause for celebration — not something to be sad about. It gives you the opportunity to make time to meet new people who are happy to make the effort.

There can be situations where you were in a long-term relationship with someone, and you fell off and got ghosted, but again, by the time this person decided to ghost you, they had stopped valuing your relationship. “Good riddance” is the best way to think in this kind of situation.

For the most part, I think people who demand an explanation when you ghost are entitled.

It is not anyone’s responsibility to give someone peace of mind before walking out of a relationship. It is not illegal to ghost someone and you are not entitled to give anyone an explanation before ceasing communication or blocking them. If you really care about someone and you want to talk to them before ending the relationship, that’s nice, but it is not something you have to do or should be forced into. You don’t owe anyone anything.

Most people who have a problem with being ghosted have abandonment issues and are sensitive to rejection. In many cases, when I ended a relationship with someone and they started whining about being ghosted, my experience was that they had also responded aggressively to my attempts to end the relationship, prior to me ghosting them. I felt that I had already made clear what my boundaries were and how they were being crossed and hence I wanted to break up, yet when I stopped responding the other party saw themselves as some kind of victim because I did not want to talk to them anymore due to their behaviour.

Rejection sensitivity is not an excuse to guilt trip people into further communication by claiming ghosting is bad or unacceptable.

I have ghosted a lot of people by simply blocking them. The majority of these people didn’t try to reach out in another way like using a different number to call or showing up at my doorstep looking for closure. They got the message and moved on.

I have also never cried in my room because I was so upset that someone decided to stop talking to me. I feel that if someone blocks you, it’s common sense that this means they don’t want you in their life. Also, some people start an argument when you try to explain that you don’t want to be in touch with them anymore, and not everyone likes confrontation. Not to mention, not everything deserves or needs an explanation. It might just be that the other person had stuff going on in their life and you simply weren’t a priority for them.

It’s okay for people to do what feels the best for them. It’s not hard to move on from being ghosted considering all other traumatic things that can happen to you within the course of your life.

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