Why You Need to Spend A Day Doing Nothing

It’s ok to take a break from being productive

Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.~A. A. Milne

Being productive is a hot topic in writing circles.

North American culture encourages productivity in nearly every aspect of our lives. Society dictates you have to hustle to succeed. We think we need to be doing something all the time.

As a single parent of two young children, I feel the social pressure to do more for and with my kids. I try to keep life pretty simple. I don’t typically give in to outside influences. But this “do more” philosophy is pervasive. I end up pressuring myself to be a Super Mom.

If you think you need to be a superhero parent, think again. Our job is also to be human. We can only do so much on any given day. It’s equally as important to illustrate this for our children. If we try too hard to do everything, we might end up lashing out at them. We’re showing them life has to be a struggle. Here’s the truth. We often make our lives harder when we don’t stop for breaks.

As a self-proclaimed gentle parent, I’ve begun to believe I need to stay calm and centered during a conflict. It’s unrealistic to expect ourselves to be calm in every moment. I’ve been trying to maintain unreasonably high standards. We’re also supposed to get plenty of sleep and eat healthy food to stay well. I say to myself, good luck with that.

Here’s what helped convince me to take a break.

The last few nights, my youngest child had a stuffy nose. She woke up in the middle of the night crying, saying her nose hurt. She blew her nose and eventually fell asleep. The following night was more of the same. Only this time, minutes after she blew her nose, she got scared of a spider crawling on her. It was 1:40 am.

I was exasperated and overreacted to her being upset about the spider. I got mad at my frightened child. I apologized and told her I wasn’t thinking straight because I was tired. My big kid was also awake since they sleep together. She handled it well, considering the circumstances.

After all the commotion with spiders and stuffy noses, then nursing her back to sleep, more than an hour had passed. I told the girls not to worry about being on time for school. We needed to sleep. I went back to bed at 2:55 am.

We woke up late, as expected. But I still have lofty expectations of myself and others. Part of me feels a sense of urgency. But deep down I know it’s time to slow down. I don’t want to run errands, get exercise, meditate, eat well, and publish a stellar literary piece. I don’t feel like being productive. My body needed to rest.

It was cold and windy outside. Instead of our usual walk, I drove them to school. After picking up my mail, I checked social media. I drank my yerba maté. I read Medium authors’ stories. Then I started feeling anxious. What am I doing? I asked myself. Shouldn’t I be working right now?

What about meditation?

It’s good for me. At least I’ll be doing something by doing nothing. I’m surprised by how much I enjoy sitting meditation. The notion of doing nothing typically doesn’t appeal to me. My internal engine runs fast on most days.

Well. As I sat in front of my crystals, cozied up on my bed, I was aware of something important. I don’t need to try so hard every day. No one does. It’s ok to stare out the window or scroll on Facebook for entertainment purposes only. We could even skip something as useful as meditation time.

Ironically, meditation can increase productivity. Sitting in silence allows the dust to settle. A creative space opens. We discover new ideas. I couldn’t access much creativity this time, but I got a rest. I started to doze halfway through my meditation. It was a perfect reminder of what I needed.

If we want to be productive, we need balance.

If you didn’t get enough sleep last night, don’t try to get water from an empty well. It’s impossible. You’ll have to wait for the rain to fill it up again. Just because your culture urges you to work, it doesn’t mean it’s necessary right now.

I know people who feel guilty calling in sick to their jobs. Why? Because their society believes in “no excuses.” Well, please excuse yourself. You’re not going to be productive when you’re sick, anyway. And you’ll likely get sicker and lose more time.

Why don’t we take better care of ourselves? We’re not encouraged to fill our cup before giving to others. We live in a collective scarcity mindset. Our society tells us action equals success. We’re afraid if we don’t work, we could lose everything. Our boss might punish us instead of offering nurturing support.

A fellow parent at my child’s preschool had to find coverage to drop off his kids during a 2-hour weather delay today. He was already covering another shift, doing a double. If his company were supportive, he wouldn’t have to defend his right to care for his kids.

We appear to be in an uphill climb. But I urge you to fight for a break when you need to stop working. I’m fortunate to work from home and have adequate child support. Not everyone can honor their needs every day. But I envision a new way of living soon. We’ll all get what we need without having to fight for it.

I had to allow for a do-nothing day, or I would’ve crashed hard. So I committed to taking it easy. I did half of this article, then dropped writing work for the rest of the day. I needed to keep things simple. I let my kids watch a movie and got them to bed early. Then I finally slept earlier than usual.

Today’s a fresh, new day. I decided to get stuff done this morning. I have the energy and time to rock and roll. I’ll finish this story, then move onto another. I’m creatively sparked and efficient. Notice how waiting helped me stay more productive?

It’s crucial to take breaks. When you can, find time to do nothing. Take the feline’s lead and take a nap. Watch a movie. Daydream a little. Then get back to creating your best work.

Let’s stay in touch. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, or my personal blog at gratefulx365.wordpress.com. Submit your amazing stories and follow my Medium publication, Gratefully Yours. Email me at [email protected]. Thanks for reading.