Inspiration and Life
Why You Need Others in Your Life
The difference a good relationship can make
How often do you think about the impact others make in your life? For most of us, relationships are merely a part of life in the back of our minds.
Yet their significance is crucial to our well-being and everything we accomplish and become in our short time on this earth. When you stop and think about the importance of relationships, you realize there is far more to understand about them.
What constitutes a relationship?
Is it true that without two or more of something, a relationship cannot exist? It depends.
The common definition of relationship involves the connection of two or more things. According to one source:
“relationship (noun) — the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” Oxford Languages
Yet many believe we can have varying degrees of relationship with ourselves, called “self-relationship.” A quick google search will turn up volumes of information on the subject.
Self-relationship makes sense when you consider how complex the human mind is. All you have to do is factor in our conscience, subconscious, emotions, soul, spirit, internal voices, parts of our being, etc.
Yet there is far, far more to life than self-relationship.
If you were to remove every relationship from your life, you would remove life’s very purpose. Without a relationship, life would cease to exist in short order.
I often remind myself that life is relationship. Without a relationship with someone, most people have little reason to live. How long do you think a person could survive without another human being?
It makes sense that God created Adam and Eve. While Adam had a relationship with God, he needed another human in his life. God said in Genesis, “it is not good that the man should be alone.” Therefore human life is always in connection with another human being.
Did you know solitary confinement is said to be the cruelest form of punishment? There is a large volume of work on the mental health effects of this subject. There is also the common inference that solitary confinement constitutes cruel and unusual punishment and is a severe form of torture.
“Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments.” Gary Chapman (1938-present)
The importance of relationship
Our lives are molded and shaped by relationships from birth. Without another human being to care for you, you would not have survived. Without other people in your life, your view of the world would be very limited. It is because of relationships that you grow and mature and thrive.
Without relationships, life would be meaningless. Thus, the importance of those you “hang around” is a common topic of discussion. Those around you affect who you become. Countless self-help books and articles speak to the importance of relationships with the right people.
To say we need other people in life is an understatement if there ever was one. And yes, it’s even true for us introverts! I can speak firsthand to that! While I am okay for long periods of time by myself, my life would be empty were it not for my wife, family, and friends.
Back to the original question: “ How often do you think about the impact others make in your life?” Do you realize how crucial they are for you to live a life filled with happiness, joy, and love? Do you consider their impact on your daily life and your life overall?
Imagine what life would be like if even one person you are close to were suddenly gone. Can you see and feel the piece of your heart that would be missing, the enjoyment of life together you would lose, and the pain of separation? It is genuinely real and certainly worth giving thought.
Do you think much about how much you appreciate someone important in your life? Most of us rarely do, yet our thoughts must go there to live a fuller and more fulfilling life.
“The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are.” Stephen Covey (1932–2012)
If you never consider the importance of others in your life, you are missing out on a wonderful part of being a human being. It is in the appreciation of others that life flourishes. When you ignore or take those you are close to for granted, they become less valuable in your mind and life.
As the old saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.” Another saying states bluntly, “familiarity breeds contempt.” It is all too easy to take those close to us for granted.
Is there a cure for this? Absolutely! To overcome this all too common problem requires only a slight adjustment in thinking. We have already mentioned this cure more than once!
Appreciation
The cure is in one word — appreciation. We become complacent in a relationship because we do not appreciate the other person in our life. We treat another person with contempt because we lack appreciation for them as a human being. We treat them as objects, not people. We forget or don’t think about their impact on our lives. We take for granted they are just there.
The way to change this is to realize their true value. To rethink their impact on your life so you can fully appreciate them! Always remember:
What you appreciate appreciates.
What you do not appreciate depreciates.
Let’s make it real
Try this little exercise. Think of someone important in your life. It could be your wife, significant other, your child, a parent, someone in your family, or perhaps a good friend.
Imagine one day they are gone. They are no longer part of your life. You will never see them again. You will never be able to speak with or hug them again. They are no more. Let that settle in your mind and heart for a minute. Feel it to the depths of your being.
Frightening, isn’t it? Suddenly you miss them. Regrets become overwhelming. You long for them to be back in your life. To speak to them. To hear their voice. To see their inner and outer beauty. Yet they will never return to you this side of heaven.
Sobering thoughts. Terrible feelings. So much pain. Such heartbreak.
Now, return to your present reality. They are still in your life. How do you see that person now? Have you developed some appreciation for them? Do you suddenly have a deeper affection for them? Are you happy they are in your life?
This is the cure for taking someone for granted. Repeat this exercise as often as you need to remind yourself of their tremendous value in your life. Don’t wait until they are gone. Then it will be too late to show them how much you care for them. How much you appreciate them being in your life.
A final thought. Put yourself into their shoes for a moment. How is it when someone shows you appreciation? It feels amazing, doesn’t it? Why deny the ones you care about that same feeling?
Practice the exercise and show appreciation to everyone important in your life, one by one, and watch their life blossom into a thing of beauty, full of love, and full of life!
“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” William Arthur Ward (1921–1994)
Final thoughts
A certain level of maturity is needed to fully realize the importance and need for other people in our lives. This maturity leads us to seek to give rather than take from the other person. This level of maturity is selfless, not selfish.
Following are some of the wisest words ever written about relationships:
“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” Tony Robbins (1960-present)
May you live the best life possible, never taking for granted the blessing of those who are in your life!
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Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION
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