Why You Keep Falling Short: The Power of To-Be Goals

Never lose momentum by focusing on who you want to become

Do you desire to be a high performer and make the most of your life?

Do you feel motivated but quickly become discouraged when you fail to complete your goals?

If the answer to either of those is “yes,” please keep reading.

This article will discuss the secret to maintaining momentum in your life.

Oh, how I wish I had learned this earlier in life.

I spent way too much time angry with myself for being unable to complete all of the goals that I had.

The mindset shift examined in this article makes all the difference for me today.

The key to success is to change the type of goals we are setting.

Almost every time you hear the word goal, it refers to something you need to do.

The key to sustainable success is to replace to-do goals with to-be goals.

I used to be laser-focused on my to-do goals. Whether that was running a marathon, eating three vegetables daily, or graduating from college.

Those are all great things! And they did give me some success, but they also filled me with guilt, discouragement, and frustration.

We should work hard for things we want to accomplish in our life. But your goal should not be to do tasks. It should be to become a runner, a healthy eater, or an educated person.

Let’s explore why this change matters.

The Problem with To-Do Goals

The biggest problem with to-do goals is that they can become unachievable based on outside influences.

It is easiest to explain this with a current, real-life example from my own life.

I desire to write and influence others to live their best life. I feel very passionate about this and want to work towards it. When we crave more from our lives, setting a goal is the natural next step.

What if I set the goal to get up every morning at 6 AM to write? Is that a good goal?

Yeah, that is a great goal, but it has one major setback. What happens when my kids are sick all night, or my wife needs something at 6 AM during my writing time?

Well, suddenly, I’ve failed at my goal. It wasn’t my fault, but I failed.

We can get around this problem by changing the to-do goal to a to-be goal.

The Reliance of To-Be Goals

When we set a goal to grow into the type of person that we desire to become, we can have days where everything goes wrong and still meet our goals.

Let’s continue the same example as before. Let’s say my goal is instead to become a writer who influences others to live their best life. (this is my goal, by the way)

Now, when the worst days happen, and all hell breaks loose, I can ask myself, “How would the writer I want to become respond to a day like this?”

Well, I don’t want to be a writer or parent who never takes care of himself. That’s not the life I want. The kind of person I want to become would be balanced and driven to make the most out of every day.

With that framework, I may realistically decide it would be a healthier option if I slept in after being up all night with the kids.

This mental shift is HUGE for me as it empowers me to complete my goals when days are hard.

With this type of goal, we never have to lose momentum again.

Should We Still Set To-Do Goals?

Since focusing on who we are becoming is much more effective and sustainable, is there still a place for us to do goals?

Yes and no.

No, because I wouldn’t call them goals. I would call them plans.

I do plan to wake up at 6 AM every day to write. I feel extremely motivated to wake up every day I can and write my heart out.

However, I call this a plan because when things go wrong (which often happens in my busy life), I can simply say things didn’t go according to plan. I don’t have to say I wasn’t able to keep my goal.

There is no failure associated with the bad days.

Both good and bad days can be a success with to-be goals and thorough plans.

We should keep adjusting our plans to help us respond in the way we want to.

Conclusion

What goals do you have in your life? Are they to-be goals or to-do goals?

Have you ever had an experience where you felt like you failed when things happened that were outside of your control?

Give yourself a break.

Stop making to-do goals and instead call them plans.

Focus on pushing yourself to become the most you can become.

Let me know how it goes!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this concept. Please let me know if you think I’m on to something in the comments below.

Thanks for reading to the end! As mentioned in this article, I feel driven to help young people live balanced, successful lives. Please consider following me for more daily thoughts. — Alma Thurber