Summary

The article discusses the author's personal journey in understanding and overcoming the tendency to break self-promises, particularly in writing, by adopting a strategy of learning from past failures, planning, and seeking community support.

Abstract

The author candidly admits to frequently breaking promises made to themselves, especially in the realm of writing. This pattern led to self-reflection and a strategic approach to change. The author shares a pivotal experience with ghostwriting a novella, which, despite initial overconfidence and complexity, resulted in success and a valuable lesson in capacity management. The article highlights the pitfalls of overconfidence without proper evaluation of one's abilities and the importance of having a clear plan to achieve goals. Drawing from a failed attempt at Nanowrimo due to a lack of planning, the author emphasizes the transformative impact of learning from others, engaging with a supportive community, and developing clear intentions. The subsequent year, armed with structured planning and community support, the author succeeded in Nanowrimo, underscoring the effectiveness of these strategies in fulfilling self-promises.

Opinions

The author believes that understanding one's limitations is crucial to avoid overcommitting and failing to deliver on promises.
Success in one area does not guarantee success in another, and each endeavor requires its own evaluation and approach.
A lack of planning and structure can lead to hitting a creative wall, as experienced by the author during their first Nanowrimo.
Learning from others through lessons, meetups, and shared experiences is invaluable for personal growth and achieving one's goals.
Being part of a supportive community not only provides motivation but also practical assistance in overcoming creative blocks.
Despite a natural inclination towards spontaneity, the author acknowledges the necessity of planning and clear intentions in keeping self-promises.
Reflecting on past successes and identifying the key factors that contributed to them can help replicate achievements in different areas of life.

Why You Keep Breaking The Promises You Make to Yourself

My simple strategy on how to stop

I’ve broken more promises to myself than I care to admit, especially when it comes to writing. It’s honestly kind of embarrassing. But I’ve taken steps to change that. I decided to really dig into why I was breaking these promises so that I could finally put an end to it. And luckily, once I figured out what was going wrong, I was able to tackle it head-on.

Thinking you know what you’re doing, when you don’t

A few years ago, one of my clients asked me to ghostwrite a book for them. It was a daunting task, as I had never taken on something so big before. But I told myself, “Hey, I can put together a sentence, how hard can it be?” I was in for a surprise. Turns out, writing a book is a lot more complex than I initially thought.

Thankfully, it ended up being a shorter novella of only 12,000 words, so I was able to push through and get it done. And to my delight, the client absolutely loved it and even published it on Amazon. It led to a pretty grand book launch in New York’s Central Park, which was a huge win for me!

If that project had failed, it would have just been another broken promise. It taught me an important lesson about not taking on more than I can handle.

Being over confident

Sometimes, we can feel overconfident after succeeding in one area, but that doesn’t mean we’ll automatically succeed in everything we try. Each situation should be evaluated separately.

For example, just because you have viral content on one platform doesn’t mean it will go viral on another.

Having no clear plan to get from A to Z

One of the reasons I struggled with writing a novel during my first Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) was that I went into it without a clear plan or structure.

I would just sit down and start writing, hoping the story would unfold on its own. And while that approach worked for the first 20,000 words or so, it eventually led to me hitting a wall. I had no direction and was just making things up as I went along. That year, I didn’t win Nanowrimo.

Having a plan is essential to keeping your promises. Always make sure to have a clear roadmap before committing to something.

How to stop breaking the promises you make to yourself

Learning from others

The following year, I decided to do things differently for Nanowrimo. I started learning how to plan and structure a novel by watching lessons and attending writing meetups with other aspiring authors.

I still remember attending my first meetup feeling pretty proud of myself, but quickly realising that there was so much more I could learn from others. It was humbling to see how much progress some of them had made.

By participating in word sprints and being surrounded by other focused writers, I found myself writing almost double my usual word count. It was incredible.

Having a supportive community of like-minded people

The best part was being part of a supportive community where we could help each other generate ideas and keep our stories moving. If someone hit a wall or ran out of ideas, the others would jump in with suggestions to push the storyline forward.

And that year, I actually won Nanowrimo for the first time! I completed the whole 50,000 words, and it felt amazing!

Being clear about your intentions

Despite being more of a “pantser” by nature when it comes to writing, I’ve learned the importance of good planning, having a supportive network, and being clear about my intentions. Now, before making any promises to myself, I take the time to think about what I want and how I can achieve it. And so far, it’s been working really well for me.

Takeaway

So, if you find yourself constantly breaking promises to yourself, take a step back and evaluate the areas where you’ve been successful. Take note of the support, habits, or circumstances that contributed to your success. Try replicating those elements in other areas of your life. You’ll soon find yourself keeping more promises than you’re breaking.

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