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Why You Are Still Broke, Fat, and Depressed

And how to fix it once and for all

Photo by Andrew Coop on Unsplash

Let’s face it. Things didn’t work out for you. Those childhood fantasies of conquering the world, living in the fast lane, and achieving immortality became a distant memory fading away in the land of broken dreams.

Reality took over. You started working in a job you hate, which barely pays the bills. You got married, then divorced. You have 1.4 children that need $1.4 million each, and the worst thing is that there is no end in sight.

So, what do you do to ease the pain, the dullness, and the frustration?

Resort to junk food, porn, alcohol, and Netflix.

In a word, dopamine.

When reality is dreary you look forward to your daily dose of excitement, however short-lived and destructive might be. You become hooked to those daily pills of pleasure and long for the moment you can indulge and forget the daily dread.

And that is precisely what is destroying your life.

Your life is not dull and therefore you don’t need your daily fix.

Dopamine IS what is making your life shit

Fast

I’m not going to tell you to forgo all worldly pleasures and retire to a cave in the mountains where you can eat miso soup and meditate all day, but, examining your life and letting go of the people, the activities, and the habits that are not helping you could make a huge difference in your life.

Whenever you feel the urge to drink, eat sugar, or smoke, try to understand why you have that desire and where is it coming from?

If you find yourself saying things like: ‘I need a drink’ that’s a sign. Your body is raising the alarm. You are an addict.

Rationalizations

This is where you find all sorts of justifications and excuses for your behavior: ‘I work hard so I deserve a treat’ ‘It’s only one, what harm can it do?’ ‘Tomorrow I’ll quit, definitely

But deep down you know those are lies — rationalizations you make in order to avoid cognitive dissonance.

Try to catch yourself rationalizing. That’s another red flag. Rationalization is just the symptom, look for the underlying cause.

Analyze

Whatever the culprits, try to judge how much pleasure and happiness you derive from them and how much despair is caused. Put them into two columns and compare the results.

Take sugar for example:

Pros:

  • It tastes great
  • It makes you happy momentarily
  • It gives you a rush

Cons:

  • It makes you crave more
  • It takes away your energy
  • It breaks your willpower
  • It makes you fat
  • It causes diabetes
  • It’s a depressor

When weighing the pros and the cons, it’s clear that the cons are heavier and long lasting while the pros are ephemeral and unsatisfactory.

If you were to be rational you wouldn’t indulge at all. It’s quite obvious it is a raw deal and yet we keep doing it. What is wrong with us?

Two minds

You have more than one mind. There are all sorts of theories by the experts as to how this came to be but basically, inside your head, there is ‘you’(self) and there is ‘your ego’.

Your self is telling you what you should do to have a happy and fulfilling life. Meanwhile, your ego is trying to kill you.

Every time you are lazy, compulsive, fearful, or indulging your ego wins. When you are calm, content, happy, detached, and aware your self wins.

If you let your ego win, it becomes stronger and your self shrinks. Drug addicts, alcoholics, and morbidly obese people are those who lost the battle against the ego, for them, death is around the corner. That’s the ego’s ultimate victory.

Those people who have their shit together have done so by developing a strong sense of self. Let’s illustrate this with a story.

The story of two wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil — he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good — he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you — and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Now, which one are you feeding?

And…

Why are you still doing it?

You still indulge in bad habits because you think it’s bringing you more benefits than drawbacks but that’s not quite true.

The real reason you keep at it is that you are living the wrong life.

When you hate your life you need to resort to crutches and analgesics in order to ease the pain. When your life is attuned with your values you don’t need any of that.

Examine your life and find where you took the wrong turn. Is your profession fulfilling? Are you in the right relationship? What kind of friends do you have? Is your life worth living?

If not, you must make some big changes, otherways you are doomed.

Small steps

Examine your life. If you could really choose, would you stay where you are? If not, try to walk in the direction of your ideal life. Step by step. You might never get to your destination but as long as you go in the right direction, things will be fine.

When your actions align with your values you feel better, healthier, and stronger even if you never achieve your ultimate dream. Just by walking on the right path, you’ll notice many benefits.

You don’t need to be rich or powerful, you just need to take baby steps in the right direction. That’s all.

Let go

Awareness is a very powerful tool. It will make you realize what’s worth it and what’s not. Once you develop it, you’ll be able to get rid of the bad stuff.

Let go of fear, let go of attachments, let go of toxic people, and let go of desire.

There is a strong reaction to let go, we become attached to stuff, situations, and people. We think we’ll be lost without them but we won’t. You are stronger than you think and when you clear the fluff you become invincible.

Take the right drugs

Your body likes drugs, that’s why it produces a fair amount of them on its own accord: Dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline, endorphins, etc.

You can get plenty of those by indulging in the right activities and the feeling is better and longer-lasting than eating some crap or smoking a fag.

Exercise, meditate, walk in nature, eat nourishing food, focus on the now, love and be loved, be grateful, help others and let go of fear.

That’s all you need to get high. Practice it daily and your dealer will go out of business…along with your bakery, pharmacy, pub, and casino.

Take more drugs… only the right kind.

Stop the cravings

This is the secret to stopping craving filth:

Live an exciting life

That’s all.

Have you noticed that when you are excited about a new project, relationship or activity you don’t want to eat sugar, drink alcohol, or binge-watch Netflix?

There you have it. Make your life interesting, adventurous, and thrilling and there won’t be any room for crutches.

Whenever you feel the urge to indulge, take it as a sign you are going down the wrong path. Stir the wheel in a different direction until the craving disappears.

As somebody said:

Less Prozac, more Plato

Conclusion

Your life is worth living, just not the way you are doing it now.

Get out of your own way and you will discover a new world of endless possibilities.

Start making some changes and you’ll reap the benefits very soon.

Use your cravings as a sign that something is not quite right. Let them be your compass. Treat the cause, not the symptoms.

Stop feeding the bad wolf and you’ll be happy ever after.

Dopamine
Bad Habits
Cravings
Addiction
Illumination
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