Why Won’t My Kitchen Clean Itself?
It’s a real problem
Of all the inventions that just keep cropping up, why doesn’t anyone invent a self-cleaning kitchen already? Or maybe there is one and I’m just too poor to know about it.
Either way, I feel very victimized by the fact that despite the fact that I have studiously ignored my messy kitchen, it still hasn’t cleaned itself.
I realize that I’m an adult and I should probably prioritize things like that, but it’s really not my jam, so I avoid it as long as I possibly can. (Don’t imagine mold or anything — it’s not that bad, just . . . my mother would cringe if she saw it is all.)
This is how I inevitably get stuck with a messy, disgusting kitchen and my mother-in-law popping in for an unscheduled visit. I’ve got to say, this happens more often than you would think. My in-laws don’t come over often, but when they do, it is always when my house is disgusting. (Do they somehow know and pop in when I have dishes piled in the sink to teach me a lesson? If so, it doesn’t seem to have sunk in.)
A rational person would probably think I should always keep my house clean, so this can never happen. I mean, an unscheduled visit can’t find a messy house if said house isn’t allowed to get messy, right?
And I think that myself. I even say it out loud. I write it on index cards as motivation to be the type of person I want to be. . . I just don’t follow through.
Cleaning is boring. Cleaning bums me out. I have spent most of this year more depressed than I have ever been before, so I don’t feel like cleaning. The thought of going into the kitchen and washing the dishes and putting the cereal boxes that have been tossed on the counter back in the pantry where they go, tucked away out of sight like a good mom and wife would do is sooooooooooo depressing.
You know what the most annoying thing is? I know very well that if I would just dig deep and find the adult hiding inside of me and clean my house, having a clean house would actually boost my mood. I want my house to be clean. I just lack the motivation to make it happen.
You see how I have that all worked out, I know the solution, or at least part of it, but I still don’t make it happen?
That’s called being present-day Melissa. I don’t recognize her, and I’m not sure I like her very much, but she doesn’t seem to want to leave, so clearly, the only real solution is for one of you to invent me a self-cleaning kitchen.
Any takers?