Why Women Are Often Portrayed As An Unstable Mess?

Summary

The article discusses the portrayal of women as unstable and chaotic in media, particularly in Julie Delpy's series "On the Verge," and advocates for more accurate and empowering representations of women in their 40s and 50s.

Abstract

The author expresses frustration with the recurring stereotype of women, especially those in their middle age, being depicted as an "unstable mess" in media. Using "On the Verge," a series created by Julie Delpy, as a case study, the author argues that the characters' inability to communicate effectively and manage their personal lives does not accurately reflect the complexity and capability of real women. The piece underscores the importance of balanced and stable representations of women, suggesting that while perfection is unattainable, the current trend of equating humor with dysfunction is problematic. The author calls for media to inspire rather than reinforce limiting stereotypes and looks forward to more positive and realistic portrayals of women, citing the upcoming "Sex and The City" series as a potential example of progress in this area.

Opinions

The author is critical of the portrayal of women in their 40s and 50s as unstable and immature, as seen in Julie Delpy's "On the Verge."
There is a concern that humor in female characters is too often derived from their chaotic lives and poor decision-making, rather than from more nuanced and diverse personality traits.
The article suggests that women who are portrayed as having their lives together are unfairly labeled as boring or controlling, and that this is a disservice to the complexity of women's experiences.
The author believes that women can and should be depicted as financially stable, capable of clear communication, and able to set healthy boundaries, without these traits being seen as exceptional or unrealistic.
There is an appreciation for the series' decision to show older women without heavy editing or manipulation, highlighting the need for more authentic representations of beauty and aging in media.
The author is hopeful that upcoming series like "And Just Like That" will learn from past mistakes and provide a more accurate representation of what it means to be a woman today.

It’s time for us to start communicating better.

It’s all about communication — everything in our lives. We are either sending messages to the world or receiving messages from it. And I am tired of seeing how often women are portrayed as an unstable mess and by other women.

Recently I watched the series “On the Verge” created and directed by Julie Delpy. Some of my favourite movies are Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, and Before Midnight, the trilogy starring Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke. So I like Julie. I like her acting, but I have a problem with her view of what it is to be a woman, even more in their forties and fifties, because in her series, they are behaving like teenagers.

I was trying to understand why they were so unstable and so messy, and then I came to the conclusion that they don’t know how to communicate. In the series, we meet four women, and it feels like they don’t know what they are doing. They can’t communicate with their husbands or ex-partners, and sometimes with their kids, and they don’t know how to set boundaries. In addition, they don’t know how to manage their money.

I understand that the series is a comedy and needs to be funny, but I am not laughing when I just see women behaving poorly. I am 32 years old, and I am not the target audience for this series, but I am sure that women in their 40s and 50s are much more than what Julie thinks.

For a woman to be funny, does she need to be messy?

I also understand that the concept of “having the life together” is too much because it’s impossible to have a perfect life without any problems, but having problems doesn’t need to mean being messy. A balanced and stable person will have problems. That’s part of life.

Then, women that are portrayed as balanced and stable are often called boring or controlling, and actually, under this facade, they are an unstable mess as well. They just pretend better.

Is that because women can not even be taken seriously by other women?

What are we trying to communicate as women? I am confused. We can’t deny that we use entertainment to inspire our lives. We can’t also avoid aspiring to the lives we see on the screens, but in this case, with Julie, I am learning what I don’t want to be.

I want to be able to communicate with my partner, I want to be able to communicate with my kids, I want to set clear boundaries, and I want to be financially stable without depending on anyone else, at least when I am 40 or 50. I hope that I can learn within the next decade or two how to be better than I am today, not perfect, but at least knowing what I am doing with my life.

On the other hand, I need to congratulate Julie because it was refreshing seeing older women with their beauty without editing or manipulation on a TV series, and we need more of this. And I am looking forward to Sex and The City new series “And Just Like That”, because I hope they have learned from their past mistakes and represent better what it is to be a woman nowadays. I can’t wait to write about it.