Summary

The article discusses the importance of maintaining a childlike imagination and dreamy outlook while balancing it with realistic actions to achieve one's goals.

Abstract

The article "Why We Shouldn’t Stop To Dream Like Children" explores the internal conflict between idealism and pragmatism through the author's personal journey, represented by two aspects of her personality: "Dreamy Nina" and "Realistic Nina." The author reflects on how societal expectations and fear of failure often lead adults to abandon their aspirations. She emphasizes the significance of preserving the imaginative and bold mindset of childhood to overcome the limitations imposed by a predominantly negative and disbelieving society. The article suggests two methods to reactivate the "Doer Mindset": engaging in activities that encourage a childlike perspective and asking oneself "How could I?" instead of dismissing ideas outright. By doing so, the author argues that individuals can open up to a multitude of possibilities and rekindle their motivation to pursue their dreams, leading to a more fulfilling and creative life.

Opinions

The author believes that as adults, we tend to overthink and allow doubts to overshadow our dreams, which can stifle motivation and creativity.
She posits that society often focuses on reasons why things cannot be done, rather than seeking solutions, which can hinder the nurturing of bold dreams.
The author suggests that adults should occasionally set aside their rational side and embrace a more spontaneous, less planned approach to life, similar to how children behave.
She encourages individuals to brainstorm and write down their goals along with potential ways to achieve them, fostering a solution-oriented mindset.
The author advocates for the belief that anyone can change their circumstances and achieve their dreams, such as becoming a writer or purchasing a townhouse, by being creative with income streams and making value-based decisions.

Why We Shouldn’t Stop To Dream Like Children

Two methods and thoughts to re-activate the ‘Doer Mindset’

I’ve always been the romantic type. The Hollywood-Happy- End kinda type. But I’ve also been — what I call — a realistic person.

Like the angel and the devil, they were sitting on my shoulders. Let’s call them Dreamy Nina and Realistic Nina.

At first, they lived side by side, but at some point, their parallel existence was endangered. It seemed as if only one of them could stay.

Just recently, both Ninas came together after a long time. They talked, looked back on the past years, and discovered something.

Something, I wish I would have known when I was 18years old.

The Mindset Shift When Becoming An Adult

If we observed Dreamy Nina some years ago, we would discover that her thoughts were full of hopes, dreams, and snippets from books (ok, I admit, particularly romance novels).

She imagined her life like that:

Dreamy Nina would have a handsome, caring, sporty husband and a big family.

She would buy a house, with a huge garden. And dogs.

She writes books for a living. She saw herself typing into the typewriter while sitting on a veranda. A view over the lake in her garden.

Back then all these dreams seemed so doable. Easy to achieve.

And then, there was Realistic Nina.

She figured life wasn’t that simple.

Having a perfect relationship isn’t guaranteed. It is hard work and requires sacrifices and boldness to say ‘No!’ when you would rather say ‘Yes!’.

Realistic Nina told herself it is okay to settle for lower standards. And so she did.

She found out having a regular job is no fast track to a beautiful suburban house with a garden.

Most of the time it's just funding food, train tickets, bills, and clothes. And it's just enough for a small apartment in Vienna.

So, she canceled daydreaming of the beautiful townhouse with the veranda and the flowery garden.

Over the years Nina canceled a lot of goals and dreams, without really noticing it.

But then, she started feeling disillusioned, uncreative, and somehow hopeless.

Somewhere back in her head, she remembered another type of Nina. A hopeful one, that believed anything was possible.

What happened to Dreamy Nina?

Why It’s Good To Stay A Child After All

Some might say she lost her drive.

Others think she became reasonable. The truth might lay somewhere in between.

As we get older, fears and insecurity take over our minds. We start to question each of our steps.

We overthink.

By overthinking, we allow doubts to get in the way of our dreams. And doubts kill motivation and goals.

We grow up in a society that teaches us hundreds of reasons why something cannot work, instead of finding solutions to how it could work.

If I tell people about an idea, the most heard answer is “You cannot do this!” or “This is not possible!”. How should bold dreams thrive in an environment full of naysayers?

When a child watches a Peter Pan flying over roofs, it might develop the wish to fly as well. So, what does the child do?

It puts on a red cape, climbs up the bunk bed, and….jumps (don’t worry, the is a mattress below).

What would adults do? They would rather google “jumping from a bunk bed”, read through all fifty possible injuries, and close the laptop. Case closed!

I’m not telling you to learn to fly. I’m telling you not to let go of your dreams too quickly.

We need to put the adult aside from time to time and start acting more like a child again. Fast-paced, naive, not everything perfectly planned and thought through.

Two Ways To Reactivate The ‘Doer Mindset’

1. Brainstorm three activities only children would do

Write them down, choose one and just do it!

My ideas this morning were: coloring a mandala, building a sandcastle, enjoy a lollipop.

I grabbed my sister and we went to the nearest playground, sat down, and build a castle. It ended up looking more like a Neanderthal cave, but that did not matter. We had fun, we talked and somehow we felt lightweight afterward.

2. Instead of saying “No!” straight away, ask yourself “How could I?”

If you have a goal you want to achieve, write it down. Then think of as many options as possible to pursue this goal. They don’t have to be feasible at first, the aim is to collect a lot.

If we put ideas on paper, we train our brains to think solution-oriented rather than problem-oriented.

For example, I want to be a writer. When I brainstorm on ways to become one, I come up with the following solutions:

Talking to other authors, writing 500 words each day, write short stories for Medium, build connections to magazines to write articles, write good night stories for my future children, build stories based on song titles or paintings and send them to the artists, write stories on Instagram,…

This idea generation will ultimately show you that there are many ways to succeed and project, that initially seemed impossible, might be doable after all.

Why Am I Telling This?

Since I’ve realized that I’ve held myself back the last couple of years, I feel free.

I realized that I am not bound to doing a regular 9to5, low-salary job until my skin crumbles. If I want to be a writer or space jumper, all I have to do is believe in myself and try until I get there.

If I want to buy a townhouse, I can! I (just) have to become creative with building income streams and invest cleverly instead of buying things I don’t need.

If I want to have a loving husband like in romantic movies, I have to let go of all the guys that do not live up to those standards. I have to stand to my values. They are not up for discussion.

I have to be more stubborn and less flaky.

I have to become a little more dreamy again and be less realistic from time to time.

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