Why We Should Stop Rejecting Our Negative Emotions

Summary

The article discusses the importance of embracing all emotions, including negative ones, as a means to truly feel alive and maintain emotional health.

Abstract

The author shares a personal revelation about the pitfalls of avoiding negative emotions in the pursuit of happiness and inner equilibrium. Through mindfulness and personal development, the author found themselves becoming emotionally numb, having shielded away from situations that could provoke sadness, disappointment, or anger. This overprotection led to a lack of both positive and negative emotions. The article emphasizes that emotions, both good and bad, are an inherent part of life and should not be ignored or feared. Instead, the key is to learn to handle them effectively. The author concludes that emotions serve as guides, helping us navigate life, and that ignoring them can lead to an eventual outburst of pent-up feelings.

Opinions

Negative emotions are a natural and unavoidable part of life that should be accepted and managed rather than rejected.
Avoiding negative emotions can lead to emotional numbness and prevent the experience of positive emotions as well.
Emotions provide valuable insights into our lives, acting as a compass for what feels right or wrong.
Ignoring emotions can cause them to intensify and resurface in more disruptive ways.
Learning to deal with emotions, rather than keeping them at bay, is crucial for emotional well-being.
Embracing all emotions, including the unpleasant ones, allows for a fuller human experience and personal growth.

The art of walking in the rain without an umbrella

I had a revelation. I suddenly realized that I have been totally cutting myself off from my emotions during the past two years.

I was so focused on my personal development, trying to figure out life through mindfulness and the search of inner equilibrium, that I didn’t see it coming. Wanting to feel only pure joy and happiness, I began to feel nothing.

Trying all the time to avoid negative emotions — mainly sadness, disappointment, and anger — led me to ignore them. To reject them. I only wanted to feel joy, enthusiasm, happiness, excitement. I wanted to feel alive.

I even began to fear negative emotions. I was afraid of how they might make me feel, and the way they could lead me to behave.

But emotions are raw. They are impossible to avoid. With this in mind, in order to get around the problem, I started to avoid the situations themselves, the ones that I knew could lead to negative feelings. Which means I was overprotecting myself.

I hardly ever let anyone come into my inner circle anymore for fear of suffering. I no longer put myself in stressful or uncomfortable situations. I surrounded myself with a shell. And it worked. Until that shell kept me away from not only negative emotions but also positive ones.

I felt like I was numb.

While I discussed this subject with my father, he told me something very simple, but very true:

“Negative emotions are part of life. We can’t avoid them, so we have to deal with them.”

It is said that there are no ups without downs.

Even if it’s scary, I now think we must welcome all kinds of emotions. What we need to work on is not keeping emotions away from us, but learning to deal with them. Anger is not scary anymore if you know that you won’t explode and say things that you can’t even think about. Neither is sadness if you know that while you may cry for a few hours or day, you won’t find yourself trapped in a vicious negative circle from which you’ll find it difficult to escape.

Emotions are powerful tools. They give us advice on what is right or wrong in our life. They are our compasses. Raw and beautiful. Ignoring them is tantamount to accumulating them, and they will eventually come out, sooner or later, but multiplied tenfold.

“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don’t lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.”― Sabaa Tahir

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