INSPIRATION

Why We Should Never Give Up

Focusing on the amazing possibilities is empowering.

Never Give Up.

It sounds cliché, and perhaps for some, it is. These three little words hold a world of worth, and I do not write this lightly.

This article’s image is the cover of a card that Jodie Rufty gifted to me on 1 April 2016 — the day our intimate group of 12 warrior femmes completed an intensive 200-hour yoga teacher training course.

We had spent the previous month studying the teachings surrounding our spiritual [higher] selves in relation to the world via the Bhagavad Gita, discovering how asanas can bring about calm or even challenge us, learning about various forms of meditation and connecting with each other, as well as with ourselves.

It was an intense time.

I had chosen to take the course to help me continue the healing process of my painful divorce. Though my financial situation at the time was a bit precarious, I was adamant about starting on the journey for two reasons: (1) for over a decade, I had maintained an on-again-off-again relationship with yoga, and (2) the emotional trauma from the split with Özgür was spiraling into a deep depression.

Something needed to change. And I had to get off my rump, to stop feeling sorry for myself!

A yoga instructor I had met earlier that year mentioned Yoga Works programs and suggested I ask about a potential discount. Wasting no time, I contacted their corporate California office and spoke YW Program Advisor, Hy Long. After applying [and subsequently getting approved] for a 50% internship scholarship, I was ready to start.

Getting $1800 off the 30-day intensive course was just the incentive I needed. My role would be as yoga administrative/intern to Jodie — basically, I was responsible for taking attendance, arriving 1/2 hour early each day to sweep/tidy up the studio space, collect homework and help out with any other things needed to make the month flow more smoothly.

During that month-long yoga intensive, I grew to learn more deeply about limiting beliefs (those voices in our heads that often fill us with negative thoughts), to be mindful of language (both verbal and non-verbal), and being in a quiet space (within myself) allows answers as well as calm to enter.

There were many tear-filled moments when the hurt of my divorce and the reality of the role I played therein hit me hard. I was growing to understand accountability on a whole new level.

On that Friday, the 1st of April, the 13 of us gathered for a ceremony of celebration — life, self-love, compassion, kindness and hope. The tears flowed for each person present. We shared our most vulnerable feelings. We chanted and meditated. We hugged and laughed.

This time when tears caressed my cheeks they reflected both pain (though much less) and joy. I felt redemption in my soul — of all the hurt I caused in my former marriage, but also feelings of self-compassion of coming to terms with the past.

Seven and a half years have passed since Jodie gave me that card, wherein she gave gratitude for all my help, saying she couldn’t have done it without me. And since I had shared a bit of my divorce healing journey with our yogini group, Jodie had also gifted me rose quartz, along with the wise words of the Dalai Lama.

Reminding me of the stone’s expression of universal love, she wanted to also empower me to nurture self-trust, self-love, and inner peace. It remains one of my most symbolic and precious offerings of solidarity. And though it has been a while since I last meditated with it, the piece is a reminder of how I never gave up on myself and on my capacity to become a more loving being.

There is so much more to what prompted me to write this article.

Over the past six months, I’ve been going through a challenging time emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially. My mild depression has, at moments, grown considerably. Deciding to end the family secret of my childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a cousin has revealed itself to be both a huge burden lifted, but at the same time has caused certain persons to distance themselves from me.

The rollercoaster of my romantic liaison has revealed toxic behaviors.

As I am still adjusting to life in Borikén, my ancestral motherland, that too has been a source of beauty and also of pain. Returning here has been filled with such wonder as I continue to unlearn many of the lies taught under the U.S. colonial and imperialist machinery.

Even my writing has gone through changes, especially as I reconsider where to focus my business and portfolio at Lola’s Lines. Of course, I understand all of this points to growth and change — reminding me of another yogic concept.

There is no permanence in life.

And knowing that change is inevitable, I am better equipped to accept the non-static condition of living. Never giving up is a reminder that in a continually shifting world, I have the wondrous capacity to build, improve, and learn.

To never give up is, as the XIVth Dalai Lama notes, to ‘develop the heart …to work for peace in the world.’ To keep going is a way to ensure we are building a more beautiful planet.

On this last note of creating a more beautiful world, I’d like to share these verses by Monoreena Acharjee Majumdar. My interpretation of her piece is an intermingling of windows and weather, nature and nuance — all metaphors for this gift we call life.

Gracias for reading.

If you’d like to check out more about me, visit my travel blog, La Trekista and if you’re a caffeine person, consider treating me to a Ko-Fi. ☕

I appreciate each of you. 🧘🏽‍♀️