Why We Need to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Our Peers

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of avoiding excessive comparison with peers and fostering a mindset of personal growth and celebration of others' achievements.

Abstract

The article "Why We Need to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Our Peers" argues that while healthy competition is beneficial, the culture of ruthless comparison can lead to negative consequences such as jealousy and exploitation. It suggests that celebrating others' successes and recognizing that life is not a zero-sum game can lead to a healthier approach to success. The author encourages individuals to focus on self-improvement over time rather than competing against others, viewing life as abundant with opportunities for all to succeed.

Opinions

Healthy competition is valuable, but excessive peer comparison is damaging.
A competitive environment should promote learning from failure and celebrating success.
Ruthless competition fosters a toxic culture of jealousy and backstabbing.
Life should not be viewed as a zero-sum game where one person's gain is another's loss.
Individuals should be genuinely happy for others' achievements without feeling threatened.
Personal progress should be measured against one's past performance, not others' achievements.
Success is abundant, and everyone has the potential to succeed without limiting others.

Competing with our ‘friends’ is not healthy.

We learn quite early the importance of competition and comparing ourselves to our peers.

Whether it is in the classroom or on the football pitch, competing and winning are drilled into us.

And don't get me wrong, I think healthy competition is a good thing. I don't think giving kids a 7th place trophy sends the right message. We should cultivate an environment that celebrates success and encourages learning from failure.

But there is something to be said about ruthless competition and comparison to peers that can be so damaging.

Our cutthroat ranking system creates a culture of jealousy, bitterness, and backstabbing. Just need to look at office politics and gamesmanship to see this. A win-at-all-cost mentality is great on the football pitch, but sickening in other areas where people are exploited and misused.

Celebrate other people’s success

One way that can help you succeed in a healthy way is controlling your reaction to competition.

Learn to be happy for those around you who achieve great things. Don’t dismiss it as ‘luck’ or an unfair advance they received. You have no idea the hard work that goes on in the background.

One thing that makes this hard is our conditioning to see everything as a Zero Sum Gain . As described in LEAD ON PURPOSE:

In game theory and economic theory, zero-sum describes a situation in which one person’s gain is exactly balanced by another person’s loss. In games like chess, one person wins and the other loses.

If life is a zero-sum game, only a limited amount of people can succeed. Life is viewed as a dog fight for scarce resources.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Life is full of abundance and we can all be winners.

Work on being happy for people who achieve great things and don’t take this as a direct threat to your own ambitions. Sometimes other people succeeding can make us get defensive and make us reflect on our own performance.

We are not competing against our peers. Use their progress as inspiration to drive yourself forward.

The only person you should be competing against is yourself.

Are you better than you were last year? What about last month or even yesterday?

This is what matters.