Why We Must Recognize the Humanity of People in the Adult Film Industry
A review of ‘The Porn Star’s Daughter’ by Kay Stephens
After my daughter was assaulted at school, the resource officer said something odd. I insisted on conducting the interview by phone because I was so angry I didn’t trust myself to do it in person. “I checked your daughter’s record,” the officer said, “she hasn’t been in any trouble.”
The statement bothered me on many levels. Why did he have to check my daughter’s record? She was the victim here. Why did he say “she hadn’t been in trouble” when the truth was exactly the opposite? My daughter has been awarded “student of the month” on multiple occasions. What about the boy who had attacked her? What did his record say? Why weren’t we discussing that?
But then I remembered instances from my own life and how you’re never really given credit for good behavior. It doesn’t matter how many days you go without breaking a rule, the second there’s even a suggestion that you’re involved in something inappropriate they’re on you like maggots on meat.
We live in society that so titillated by the concept of punishment that everyone’s perpetually in search of a crime. The overzealous quest to identify wrongdoing leads to widespread disregard for the more important need to protect the innocent.
Human sexuality tends to cloud perspectives, and one consequence is that women often end up becoming the undeserving targets of judgment. This was true in the case of my daughter, and it’s true for Tali Hunter, the main character of The Porn Star’s Daughter by Kay Stephens. This is a quality book that offers a productive contemplation on some subtle ways we could improve our society.
A high school pregnancy
When I was a freshman in high school, one of the seniors got pregnant. The father was a senior as well, but for him there was no physical change to mark his involvement. I remember being fearful for the mother because rambunctious teens are always running around at full speed, heedless of who they might crash into.
Out of respect for the young mother, the school should have adopted severe penalties to deter any form of roughhousing. Unfortunately, we live in a society that’s more inclined to disparage women rather than offer them any form of assistance. Young mothers are often the target of judgment, even from people with no familiarity with the situation.
The reflexive response is always to cast blame at the most obvious target. I think the same dynamic is at play in the adult film industry. The actresses are targeted while the individuals who reap in the profit remain in the shadows of anonymity. There is an enormous potential for exploitation, but when a group is singled out for judgment they stop being seen as sympathetic human beings in need of assistance.
One thing that should be clear is that children born into difficult situations should not be held responsible for the actions of their parents.
Please don’t let them discover my secret
Perhaps a topic that doesn’t get enough attention is the impact of shame on a child’s mental health. The media often reports how young people are in a state of crisis, but these conversations rarely lead to sincere action.
From my perspective, we do as little to help young people with depression as we do to stop mass shootings. If you don’t believe me, scroll through social media and count the casual posts you find decrying all young people as “lazy” or “entitled.”
The Port Star’s Daughter deals with the shame Tali Hunter feels about her famous mother as she attempts to navigate her freshman year of college. Perhaps the most surprising thing about this novel was how easy I found it to identify with Tali’s struggle to establish her own identity.
During my first semester of college, I vividly remember feeling a sense of ever-present shame. I walked from class to class tormented by the belief that I didn’t deserve to be there. I felt it was only a matter of time until I would be discovered and removed.
Why did I feel like that? Is that a common thing for people to believe as they take their first adult steps in the world? Why don’t we have a mechanism in place to help our children navigate this obstacle? Why do we put them in harm’s way and expect that they should just “push through?”
That’s what I had to do and, frankly, it wasn’t good enough.
The wrong kind of friends
The novel begins with Tali’s arrival at the airport. She’s overcome with anxiety about what will happen if anyone discovers who she really is. Of course, the first person she meets immediately perceives Tali’s resemblance to her famous mother.
The moment of recognition is supplied by James. He is an older student fresh off a stint in the military. He’s one of those guys who is kind of a wreck, but he’s handsome enough that it’s easy to overlook the current disaster his life represents. In short, he’s exactly the type of guy Tali doesn’t need to meet, and even though she recognizes that, she gets caught up in an irresistible pull of attraction.
James and Tali engage in the kind of awkward chat that comes when two people have not settled into their new reality, but they’re desperate not to reveal their insecurities. The remarkable thing about this book is how effectively Kay Stephens is able to write these scenes. It’s easy to identify both with James and with Tali. They feel like real people with authentic problems.
Even their mistakes are believable.
An accurate reflection on college life
The book follows Tali’s journey as she meets up with her roommate, Coventry, who again turns out to be exactly the wrong type of person. Coventry is only at college to party, and she has a knack for escalating situations to achieve the worst possible outcome. Naturally, she becomes involved with James’s roommate Seth. This development guarantees that James will remain perpetually in Tali’s orbit.
Again, I appreciated the authenticity of the scenes involving awkward, uncertain college students who are unwilling to reveal their true vulnerability. These moments accurately represent how easily kids get caught up in peer pressure and end up indulging in behavior that is at odds with their authentic nature. It’s hard not to have compassion for all the characters, even the ones that feel compelled to fan the flames of self-destruction.
Despite the odds, Tali manages to settle in and navigate the waters of college life. She makes friends with a group of kids that come from a social class accustomed to looking down upon Tali’s partying friends. Tali gets to know a walking-Ken-doll named Brock, and there’s the definite sense that something ominous lurks beneath his pristine exterior. This is clearly not a social group that’s going to accept Tali’s lineage.
What does that say about them?
You’re left wondering who will prove to be a greater threat to Tali’s journey of self-discovery. Will it be the wrecked and wasted James? Or will it be the flock of superficial, preppy enemies who present themselves as friends?
A cruel society
The Porn Star’s Daughter is more interested in exploring a youthful quest for identity than it is in exposing the truth about the adult film industry. There’s never any suggestion that Tali’s mother was a victim of exploitation. In fact, she appears to be wealthy and powerful.
Wealth is too often perceived as its own justification, but the reality of the adult film industry is that most of the performers are not well-compensated. Perhaps some of the resentment that’s misdirected at the adult film industry is based on the misconception that the participants are overpaid.
In adult film, as with most things in our society, the people who do the work aren’t the ones who receive the reward.
Ultimately, Tali’s access to wealth is what allows her to carve out a position at her university. Although the school administrators might not approve of what Tali’s mother did for a living, they’re quite enticed by the prospect of getting their hands on her money.
A thought provoking and well-written book
I feel it would have provided more authenticity to have a few characters who expressed their anxiety about paying for tuition, but perhaps that too is something modern students feel pressure to keep secret. Tali might have been more believable as a porn star’s daughter if she were both humiliated and broke.
Instead, The Porn Star’s Daughter invokes a more idealized concept of the adult film industry. It’s a fantasy world where the women are proud, wealthy, and perpetually young. The only thing their children have to deal with is the embarrassment of being recognized even if it just turns out to be by adoring fans.
In real life, I expect there would be more harassment, fear and violence.
However, even though the book didn’t deal with the darker side of these themes directly, I found myself thinking about them. I am inclined to suspect that the approach of this novel might be the only way to direct attention towards such an unsettling topic.
Our society is far too inclined to judge people who are clearly in need of assistance. This applied to my daughter who was assaulted in class, it applied to the senior who became pregnant when I was in high school, and it’s accurately reflected in the character of Tali in The Porn Star’s Daughter.
At some point we have to learn that our problems won’t go away by holding the innocent accountable for the crimes of the guilty. Unfortunately, the mechanism that currently drives most social reactions seems to make further hardship inevitable.
