Why We Can’t Look To Other People To Heal Us
Healing Comes From Within
The Need For Closure
When we are getting past a traumatic event or heartbreak often we feel like we need closure from the people that were the root cause of these things in order to move forward, but in actual fact, it’s this desire that stops us from moving on.
When we put our healing journey into the hands of someone else we are giving them power over us because at the end of the day we are in control of our own healing and the more we wait around for someone to give us closure the more we are distancing ourselves from the path to happiness.
This also creates room for negative emotions such as anger and resentment, which can lead us to spiral.
When we do this we are choosing to suffer whilst holding someone else accountable for it, meanwhile, they could have already moved on with their lives.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” — Nelson Mandela
Sometimes we are under the impression that there are loose ends we need to tie up so that we can start to heal, but this is not the case.
We don’t need to tie up loose ends and we don’t need closure, they are all things we have made ourselves believe we need to move forward.
You create closure for yourself and the sooner you do so, the sooner you will be able to move on.
When we take our healing into our own hands we are in control. We are able to take the lessons from the situation and move forward even in the face of adversity.
Healing Is A Choice
We can either choose to remain where we are and continue to remain in a victim’s mindset or we can choose to not let this break us and move forward with our lives.
Show yourself compassion during these times, but also be firm with yourself too.
It’s all about finding the right balance.
Because the perfect combination of honoring your emotions yet not dwelling in the past will allow you to move forward without wasting too much time being stuck in the self-pitying vortex.
There are many things that you can implement into your life that will allow you to start moving forward, whilst bettering yourself.
Change is the best way to start healing as you are stepping onto unfamiliar territories which can lead to new and exciting opportunities.
Learning new skills, such as a language or craft is another good way to do so. Meeting new people can also be a great way to move forward and create new connections in your life.
Take Control
It’s helpful to turn to people you trust that have not been the cause of the pain to aid you during this time, but becoming too dependent restricts the amount of self-healing you can accomplish as we open the possibility to use other people as a crutch and this does more harm than good.
When we are able to take the lead on our healing journey, the feeling is so empowering and you will be even stronger than you were before.
It is very true that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and this is something that should always be remembered during hard times, even when it seems tough to view things from that perspective. That’s when we need it the most.
Takeaway
Healing takes time and for each of us the amount of time it takes varies, but our journey is our own, in the same vein that our power is our own.
We shouldn’t allow our power to be in the hands of someone else, especially someone who has made us feel this way in the first place.
When we come to terms with the fact that we are the captain of our ship, we are able to sail to new heights of growth and power.
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