avatarWesley van Peer

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Why Waiting Is More Important Than Ever

Amid today’s instant gratification society

Can you wait a little decently? Photo by Rainier Ridao on Unsplash

“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” — Seneca

The next episode of a series begins before the credits of the last can finish rolling. Meals can arrive at our doors faster than we can set the table. Conversations across the globe are as instantaneous as those across the room.

Waiting has become as obsolete as the handwritten letter.

Yet, in this immediacy, there lies serenity. It is for those willing to rediscover the virtue of patience.

The lost art of patience

Our ancestors were well-acquainted with the act of waiting. Farmers sowed their fields with the understanding that months would pass before harvest. Messages were sent with the knowledge that replies could take weeks. Perhaps even months.

This waiting was not passive. It was a period filled with anticipation, preparation, and growth.

Nowadays, it seems like waiting is something ‘unnatural’. I have the impression that it’s seen more as an inconvenient lag in the system. A bug to be ‘fixed’ as I’d say when I play my role as an IT Specialist in my daily life.

I still remember when we first got internet. We had to wait about 45 minutes for an mp3 to download. Meanwhile, the phone line was busy. We couldn’t call, and no one could call us. Before we were even connected, we had to dial in. The modem would then make all sorts of weird noises. After a minute or two, we were online.

Now when we download a song and it is not on our computer within a few seconds, we get irritated. When a web page does not load immediately, we think something is wrong, or we even click away.

Perhaps our disdain for waiting is a symptom of a larger ailment. What comes to mind is a disconnection from life’s natural rhythm.

A ‘misunderstanding’ of time itself.

Why is time something to be filled, sped up, or optimized? Why isn’t time something to be experienced, savored, and learned from? What is to come doesn’t need to be a destination towards which we hurtle. It can be a mystery to be approached with reverence and patience.

The value of waiting

When we wait, there’s a space between what was and what will be. This space is the present moment. It’s not an empty space. It can be full of potential for personal growth. Full of potential for a better understanding of the self.

Being fully present in this space, we can realize that not all is within our control. We can learn to surrender to life’s unpredictability with grace, and with resilience.

Waiting cultivates patience. I see patience as a virtue that, in turn, nurtures other essential qualities. Think about qualities such as empathy. Qualities such as compassion, and gratitude.

Patience allows us to:

  • Approach others with understanding.
  • Appreciate the small, often overlooked blessings of daily life.
  • Endure hardship with a calm spirit.
  • Face life’s challenges with equanimity.

Another thing that I may even consider the most valuable aspect of waiting is that we can reclaim our autonomy from technology.

Autonomy is our ability to make independent choices. To have control over our own lives, without external influences limiting these decisions.

So what I’m saying is that when we wait, we have an opportunity to step away from technology. We can regain control over our own choices.

By choosing to simply wait, we resist the push towards constant availability and instantaneity. I don’t believe we were wired for that. Technology is moving way faster than we can really handle. Our brains are not designed to function this way.

You’re doing yourself a huge favor when you carve out spaces for silence. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying to reject technology or technological advancement. I’m suggesting integrating it into our lives in a way that enhances our humanity, rather than diminishing it.

When you have read this article and recognize yourself as someone who struggles with waiting, consider consciously making the choice to embrace the spaces between. Allow yourself the freedom to live more deliberately. To live more fully. More in tune with your humanity.

“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today… The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.”

If we listen to Seneca, we can discover that waiting is not just a thing of the past. Waiting can actually be a key to a richer life.

If my words hit home for you or if this was valuable, consider showing some love — buy me a coffee. It’s cheaper than therapy!

And hey, connect with me on Substack.

Mindfulness
Philosophy
Psychology
Society
Self Improvement
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