Why Understanding Positive Affirmations Can Change Your Life

But they don’t work unless you do.

There’s widespread common wisdom out there these days to practice positive affirmations as a healthy part of a mindset and wellness routine for reaching life goals.

I agree that whatever you’re thinking or telling yourself should be inspiring and serve to lift your spirits and help keep you calm, rather than perpetuate or reinforce a state of self-doubt and fear. So generally speaking, I’m a fan of positive affirmations.

But here’s the thing.

Affirmations are like seeds. You can put them in the ground, but they won’t have what it takes to grow without water, sun, and of course, fertile ground.

If you just toss them into rocky soil, close to the surface, without sun and water, and they’ll just become dried up and useless, even though they had everything within them to be something great.

Some of us need to put down the megaphone and just grab a shovel. Little less talk and a lot more action. — Brad Lomenick

In order to have success with anything in life, actions, in addition to spoken intentions or words, are necessary.

• Saying “I love you” is good, but showing someone you love them with acts of service, undivided attention, and loving support is powerful
• Telling your friend you’re “there for them” is nice, but actually showing up to help them move is priceless
• Letting your coworkers know you’re willing to take the lead on a project is noble, but actually doing it and completing it when you said you would is being a great leader and shows strong initiative

In this same way, repeating an affirmation is only meant to open the door for the actions.

Positive affirmations help us adjust old thought patterns to better ones. There is research that supports changes in our brain when we self-affirm in positive ways. MRI evidence suggests that certain neural pathways are increased when people practice self-affirmation tasks (Cascio et al., 2016).

So this would support the idea that repeating positive statements about yourself can encourage your brain to buy into them as fact. And once you truly believe it, your actions will often follow.

Keyword: Actions

The affirmation is a step you take, but your actions will be required to make real change happen.

In spite of your best efforts, you might be feeling like your affirmations of positivity are not moving the needle in any way.

There may be a number of reasons why things aren’t progressing, but here are the most notable.

They need to be refreshed

If you have had the same affirmations for months or years, eventually you’ll just stop hearing them and they’ll become meaningless. Take some time to reevaluate what you’re affirming and change things up every few months.

This will ensure that what you’re working so hard to accomplish still aligns with what you want, or whether you’re bored with it and need to update it.

You’re not really feeling it

You may be affirming something that has many parts in order to achieve and requires some baby steps.

In other words, the affirmation doesn’t feel valid. For example, if you’ve been saying, “I’m great at my new job and I’m getting better every day”, but you’re not quite convinced that you actually are great at it, you can say instead, “I like this new job, some days are better than others, but I’m working at it and getting better every day.”

This will allow you to remain positive with your feelings about the job, without feeling disingenuous about the affirmation.

I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest. —

Muhammad Ali

You do too much negative talk

It doesn’t matter how much affirming you do as part of your morning ritual, if you spend the rest of your day being self-deprecating and talking down to yourself, those positive vibes won’t be able to make any headway in those deep negative pathways.

Instead, try to make any negative words or thoughts more neutral and clearly based in reality. When that happens, your brain won’t have to handle the sparring between your well-worn negative pathways and your positive affirmations. Instead, it can take a rest and develop a new pattern with the neutrality, where it’s easier for positive affirmations to take hold.

You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. —

Louise Hay

You’re not taking action

The affirmations are only the beginning of the process. The key is the action you take once you’ve opened the door.

Pair your affirmations with a journal that includes goals and timelines. Having accountability with specific dates and clear steps can put that positive energy to great use and increase your chances for success.

Becoming a rock star at affirmations won’t happen overnight. It’s taken years for those beliefs to get wired into your brain, but taking these steps followed by the most important last one, action, will help them take hold and get you closer to your goals.

• Be consistent with the affirmations and make them part of your daily routine and life, don’t be sporadic. Commit to the practice.
• Choose the best time to say your affirmations. When is the most convenient time where you feel the most refreshed?
• Identify what the limiting beliefs are so you can phrase your affirmation to address how you will handle that. For example, “I’m going to write the book I’ve talked about for years. I’ve arranged my day so that I will have specific hours blocked out this time.”
• Be clear and realistic. Don’t get carried away with your goals, start small.
• Visualize the whole scenario, from where you are now, the plans for the path, but also when your goal is reached.
• Let go of only focusing on the outcome, stay open to different actions that will get you to your goal. For example, “I’m going to get my broker’s license by the end of the year. I may do it online or at the community college, whichever works best in my schedule.
• Take action. Nothing happens unless you act on your positive affirmations, set your goals, and plan the steps and timeline to get there.

The moral is that positive affirmations are a healthy catalyst for you become laser focused on your goals and improve your mindset.

But the action is what will get you to where you want to be.

🎉 P.S. More musings on 🔥 🎧 The Badass Midlife Podcast 🎧 🔥

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