Why the Power of Mentorship Can Be Found in the Unlikeliest of Places

With 5 reasons how mentoring helps you both grow

When I think about mentorship, Ringo Starr’s song, “With A Little Help From My Friends,” plays in my head as I write. We often consider mentoring specific to educational or work settings. But the word’s definition means someone with more experience providing information and guidance to those with lesser knowledge.

Technically, this type of dynamic can happen anywhere. But what sets it apart from someone giving you directions or weekly therapy sessions is the friendship that bonds the mentor and mentee. Helping others extends beyond professional guidance and can come in many forms.

While mentors guide and inspire, they also become allies, confidants, and often lifelong friends.

This unique blend sets it apart from other forms of learning and self-improvement.

In the digital age, access to knowledge has become easier than ever. Countless online resources, tutorials, and courses can be found with the push of a button, providing us with information on almost any subject imaginable. But they often lack a critical element that defines the essence of mentorship — the human connection.

Lessons from educators

The importance of mentorship for me started by looking back at some of the teachers in my life. These individuals can play a crucial role in shaping our thoughts, values, and dreams or completely obliterating them before they have a chance.

In my article, “The Proverbial Fork In The Road,” I highlighted how teachers can guide or shove us towards paths we might never have considered otherwise. They’re often subtle but powerful.

Those memories influence our choices beyond the classroom and throughout our adult lives. I’ve read multiple writers on Medium who discussed adverse incidents with a teacher or guidance counselor in their youth.

I had my share of painful memories of those adults who discouraged me in elementary and high school. I also had a few who did the opposite; in the end, the good outweighed the bad. But that’s not always the case.

The dissertation advisor

As I navigated graduate school, I encountered another form of mentorship that proved instrumental in my personal and professional growth. My dissertation advisor played a critical role in helping me complete my Ph.D. in 2019.

My advisor encouraged me during moments of doubt, instilled confidence in my abilities, and taught me perseverance. This mentorship created between the student and faculty member in a doctoral program is difficult to explain.

It can be one of the most rewarding experiences you can have, or it can be one of the worst. I lucked out, and I owe finishing my program to my advisor. Her guidance and the words “Keep Going” she continually wrote on my drafts did just that.

But if you want to read about what it’s like when an advisor creates a toxic environment, I suggest reading some writing by Rosie Frank in her posts about Toxic Academia.

My professional journey

One of the defining characteristics of mentorship in a professional context is the transfer of specialized knowledge. A mentor possesses the background and skillset that textbooks and online courses can’t replicate. They provide practical wisdom, often gained through years of trial and error, to save you from making the same mistakes.

They make you part of their inner circle to help you reach higher rungs on the ladder of career success.

But you won’t find mentorship if you work in a business that doesn’t value its employees or rewards those for keeping their staff in their place. Instead, you will find a work environment that cultivates an oppressive culture. I worked in higher education for over a decade. While I can’t say I received mentorship, what I got probably qualifies as the opposite.

Unreasonable managers

I encountered a boss who provided harmful recommendations to keep me from transferring to another department. Another gave me a bad performance review because I respectfully questioned a male faculty member I disagreed with. I was told in a private meeting that I “can’t talk to faculty” that way. A different department needed the Office of Institutional Equity to explain how accommodations worked with signed and legitimate documentation.

When you work in hostile situations, people operate from a place of lack, and unquestioning loyalty to the system gets promoted. They may be willing to help those they aren’t threatened by. But they are less inclined to cheer on those they see as more competent. Instead, they generally double down and make it clear you know your place. Your ascent will likely be halted at this stage, especially if that boss possesses clout within the organization.

Unfortunately, institutions are difficult to change because the wrong behaviors are rewarded and promoted. The right ones get beaten down or run out, leaving an infested environment from top to bottom. Sadly, positive mentorship becomes almost impossible in such a climate, and everyone loses.

Benefits of mentoring

It may seem like a one-sided dynamic where the mentee receives more than the mentor. But beyond lifelong friendships, mentoring offers mentors and mentees many physical and psychological benefits. It’s a similar outcome to gratitude, where the giver can benefit as much as the receiver.

What’s in it for the mentee?

1. Emotional support: Having a trusted confidant to openly discuss issues, fears, and emotions decreases isolation, anxiety, and stress.

2. Improved self-awareness: Mentors often encourage self-reflection to help us better understand our strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals. Self-awareness leads to greater self-acceptance and overall well-being.

3. Enhanced communication skills: Mentorships involve active listening, empathy, and clear communication. These skills improve the ability to connect with others, resolve conflicts, and enhance relationships, positively impacting their mental health.

4. Increased grit: Facing challenges and receiving guidance from a mentor builds strength to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to change, and develop a positive outlook.

5. Sense of purpose: Mentorship can help mentees discover or reaffirm their sense of purpose or passion, leading to increased satisfaction and well-being.

So, what’s in it for a mentor?

1. Personal satisfaction: Mentoring provides a sense of accomplishment, helping others develop and succeed.

2. Leadership skills: Being a mentor requires effective communication and coaching abilities that can benefit their own personal and professional growth.

3. Expanded Perspectives: Mentoring exposes individuals to diverse perspectives, new ideas, and challenges.

4. Legacy and impact: Mentors take pride in knowing their guidance contributes to developing the next generation of leaders and professionals.

5. Reciprocal learning: Mentorship is not a one-way street. Even the sages in the relationship can learn from their mentees, who stimulate creativity and innovation as they problem-solve together.

Conclusion

Mentorship is a multifaceted concept that stretches beyond the workplace or educational setting. Mentors shape our lives, instilling resilience and nurturing friendships that can last a lifetime. It’s a reminder that we all could use “a little help from our friends” as we navigate this thing called life.

While it might seem like the mentee takes more than they give, the mentor has as much to gain as the person they advise. Even on Medium, we can each mentor one another and turn new friendships into potentially long-term ones. It all starts with clapping, connecting, and engaging.

I’ve already met 10 amazing individuals in my short time on the platform: Jacquline Dacres, Niki Tisza, Marie A. Rebelle, Grandma Smillew, R C Hammond, The Professor of Medium, Dr. Jena Pugh, Tom Handy, Kristen Walters, and CarolF.

If you haven’t read any of their publications, give them a read. They all have unique perspectives with fresh material and are more than willing to give back.

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