Summary

The content contrasts the author's experience of life in Denmark, consistently ranked as one of the happiest countries, with the American way of life, highlighting the differences in values, lifestyle, and priorities.

Abstract

The author, after 15 years of striving for the American Dream, found it unfulfilling and sought contentment in Denmark, a country often voted the second happiest in the world. Denmark's approach to life, with its minimalistic and functional living spaces, collective modesty, and social equality, starkly opposes the American ethos of self-expression, material wealth, and competitiveness. The Danish prioritize quietness and community over the noise and individualism prevalent in the U.S. The author reflects on how these contrasts in lifestyle and values contribute to Denmark's high happiness rankings, questioning the American pursuit of happiness through material means.

Opinions

The author suggests that America's vastness leads to wastefulness and a constant desire for more space, whereas Danes efficiently utilize their limited space, valuing functionality and minimalism.
Danish culture emphasizes modesty and fitting in over standing out, reflected in their clothing choices and social behavior, which is influenced by the Law of Jante.
The article criticizes America's obsession with money and material possessions, arguing that this focus detracts from true happiness and human relationships.
Denmark's high taxes are accepted by its citizens as a means to ensure social equality and collective well-being, contrasting with the American pursuit of personal wealth.
The author points out the pervasive noise in American society, which may contribute to a state of agitation, compared to Denmark's tranquility, which is seen as conducive to contentment.
The author implies that the Danish way of life, with its emphasis on community, equality, and quietness, may be a key factor in their high levels of happiness.

Why the Opposite of America Looks Like Happiness

This tiny unassuming country is the opposite of America and it’s (almost) the happiest place on Earth

During the 15 years of living and hustling in America, I was convinced that ours was the normal way to live, the only way. I was right around the corner from achieving my American Dream; I thought. Right around the corner from happiness. Until it hit me that there wasn’t going to be any happiness. No matter how much I hustled, America just wasn’t built for contentment. I had to find it on my own (I talk about the results here).

That’s how I ended up spending a year in Denmark — a country that proved to be the opposite of the U.S. in every way. Ironically, it’s also consistently voted the second happiest place in the world, while America lags at 18th place.

Life in this tiny Northern European country couldn’t be more different from what I was used to back home, and I liked that. Here’s what the opposite of America looked like.

The huge vs. the tiny

Comparing America and Denmark is comparing the 4th biggest country in the world and the 133rd one on the list. With our huge land mass come huge attitudes, huge houses and huge waste. While Americans moan and groan about needing more space, Danes utilize every square meter of their limited and pricey real estate, and they do it oh-so-well. Their houses are minimalistic, amazingly functional, always thoughtfully decorated and never cluttered.

Whenever my Danish husband and I watch HGTV shows, he asks me things like: “Why do they need to walk into their closets?” or “Why do they even have so much clothes?” He then suggests that what those people need is a therapist and not more space.

I couldn’t agree more. After seeing the minimalistic ways in which Danes approach their homes, and their lives, I’m embarrassed to watch yet another American ask for more “bonus rooms” to store their junk. Danes value the little space they have that much more. And their world leaders in creating “hygge” — the art of coziness — which well compensates for the lack of square footage. Their houses may not be the world’s biggest, but they’re definitely the most inviting ones I’ve seen.

The big egos vs. no egos at all

Americans are all about self-expression, big egos and big goals. Ego-boosting is all-so important to us. Just look at our now-former president. Trying to be better, fitter, richer, louder, more educated and more successful is what we’re taught from the start and how we roll. But the American Dream only works out for some, and even then it’s often the material accomplishments and not true contentment.

Denmark is the opposite of this ego-fest. With a tiny size of land and population comes a shy attitude and a universal desire not to stand out in any way. Grey and black are the dominant clothes colors there. Loudness and small talk are discouraged. Being polite and fitting in is of the most importance, and any out-of-the-box behavior will raise eyebrows.

All because Danes are gathered by an idea that no one is special or should try to be special. Ambition is frowned upon. This dates back to the Law of Jante, which defines ten rules of socially appropriate behavior, such as: “You’re not to think you are anything special,” or “You’re not to think you are more important than we are.”

This dated but still somewhat relevant set of beliefs in the Scandinavian region explains why Danes are so modest, unassuming and quiet about their accomplishments. This also explains the lack of flashy cars and flashy attitudes. While Americans are busy proving themselves to be better than others, Danes are busy fitting in and searching for meaning quietly and without competition.

The money-obsessed vs. the equality-driven

America is a synonym for money. We like money, we (think) we need money and we’ll do anything to get it. Yet a country that makes you believe that wealth is the end goal is doomed to fail. When material possessions are valued more than human relationships and the quiet enjoyment of life, true happiness is hard to achieve. Greediness is in our nature and our history. It’s the pursuit of happiness gone wrong.

The opposite of this rat race is Denmark. Historically, greater emphasis there was put on community rather than piling up personal achievements. Danes believe in social equality and don’t mind paying their high taxes because, they say, no one should have too much as long as anyone has too little. Just enough is good enough for most. And before you dismiss this mindset as socialism, think for a second how peaceful it is to know that everyone in your country is taken care of instead of competing to outdo each other.

While Americans obsess over buying and returning, Danes value family time and social circles as the most important things for their well-being. And by these standards, they are the richest people in the world.

The loud vs. the quiet

It wasn’t not until my visit to Denmark that I realized how unbearably loud America was. From people talking loudly to constant beeping of everything, obnoxious sirens, music blasting in every establishment and boomboxes in the streets. I’m yet to understand the reason for all this noise. Sadly, most Americans seem so conditioned to it they don’t even notice it. Yet they must be living in a constant state of mild agitation and overstimulation, even if unnoticed.

Denmark, on the other hand, is a quiet heaven. People talk softly, as if in a collective agreement not to disturb each other. Personal conversations are kept personal. There was no honking in Copenhagen and no obnoxiously loud vehicles of any kind. Cafes played gentle music or nothing at all. Stores were quiet and inviting, not stimulating. There seemed to be a mutual desire for quietness, as if it was obvious to everyone that noise equaled stress.

I took off my noise cancelling headphones and for a year enjoyed living in a city that was quiet as a village. It was possible, I learned, to live in an urban setting without having your anxieties triggered.

I wonder if Danes are so peaceful because they’re quiet, or if it’s quiet in Denmark because people are so content. But there is, I’m certain, a connection there.

With all this in mind, I can’t help but wonder if it’s an accident that the country that’s the opposite of America in so many ways is also the (almost) happiest place in the world.