Why the Jerks in Your Life are the Best for Your Personal Growth

Summary

The presence of jerks in one's life can contribute to personal growth and self-improvement.

Abstract

The article discusses the positive impact that jerks can have on an individual's personal growth. The author suggests that criticism should not be taken personally and that keeping enemies closer can lead to valuable learning experiences. The author shares a personal story about a jerk at an Air Force base who constantly ridiculed him, but ultimately taught him valuable lessons. The article highlights three reasons why jerks behave the way they do: they want what you have, they feel threatened by you, and they might be sad. The author encourages readers to take the path they want to take and find others who share their perspectives, while also keeping the jerk close to their heart as a reminder of who they don't want to become.

Opinions

Criticism should not be taken personally, but rather as an opportunity for self-improvement.
Keeping enemies closer can lead to valuable learning experiences.
Jerks may want what you have, feel threatened by you, or be sad, which can motivate you to be better.
It's important to take the path you want to take and find others who share your perspectives.
Keeping the jerk close to your heart can serve as a reminder of who you don't want to become.
The author encourages readers to help jerks if they think they can, but also acknowledges that some jerks may be long-term and not worth the effort.
The article promotes the idea that personal growth can come from unexpected sources, such as jerks.

Why the Jerks in Your Life are the Best for Your Personal Growth

You can take criticism two ways, but the biggest takeaway is not taking it personally, but that’s hard. We are human. Most of us have feelings. What I am writing isn’t a new pathway to self-improvement but a reiteration of the quote “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” There’s a reason why people say this a million times. It wouldn’t be a viral statement if it weren’t true, but how can you ACTUALLY keep your enemies close without the drive to knock them out?

There was a guy at an Air Force base I was stationed at. He constantly ridiculed me, and I was unsure why. When I started working out and improving my life, he would constantly belittle everything I said. He’d publicly shame me at parties, and I still somehow wanted his approval. I was in an unhealthy place because after some time; I knew I didn't need (or want) him in my life. I took his negativity to heart; I thought he was a friend, but now I can safely say he was just a jerk. Regardless, he taught me some valuable things about jerks:

Jerks want what you have — so take their snarky attitude as a compliment. For me, I think that my optimism to change was something my jerk wanted, which is motivation to be better. So take their negativity as fuel to your personal/professional fire.

Jerks feel threatened by you — it could be your presence, mindset, or anything, really. So take their verbal lashes as an opportunity to be more devoted to what you want to accomplish.

Jerks are sad — jerks might have had some life events that weren’t optimal, so if you are the bigger man/woman, you can help them. I am usually the “up and leave” type of guy, so you won’t see me doing that. But I know some of you reading this are charismatic and endearing, so help if you think you can.

If they aren’t any of the listed qualities above, welp, they might just be a long-term jerk. Who knows? If that is the case, walk in a different direction. Take the path you want to take. There will be others taking the same path you are. Find them and embrace their perspectives.

Learn something from a different lens. But always keep that jerk close to your heart. Never forget what they gave you: the inspiration to be better. They will show you what you shouldn’t be and who you don’t want to end up being.