500-WORD RANT #10
Why the Hell is Everyone Complaining?
A Rant about Ranting.
I’m sure many of you have been complaining about my lack of ranting.
Don’t worry, I intend to remedy that situation.
Using thesaurus.com, I found a ton of non-slang synonyms for the word complain.
If I listed all the slang word synonyms, there would be no article — just a list.
Our vocabulary is a reflection of what takes up the most space in our collective consciousness. That’s why Eskimos have 50 words for snow, the British have over 100 words for rain, and 94% of them are so obsessed with it they’ve talked about the weather in the past six hours.
The French love their cheese so much there’s an article outlining their disagreements over how to count the exact number (8, 9, 20, 118, 365, more than 1,600, 2070, or 3,500).
The most dominant human activities generate the most words, while the most taboo subjects have hundreds of slang expressions.
Obviously, sex, defecation, farts and urinating are the undisputed champions of our vocabularies.
It seems normal that there are 21 synonyms for talking, 23 for crying, 26 for yelling, 39 for drinking, 39 for laughing and 51 for eating.
Why on earth are there 59 words and phrases for complaining? What the is wrong us?
Even when I rant, I want it to make people laugh.
Thinking about all these words, there are various levels of complaining.
Not interested?
What are you going to do? Complain about this article?
Level 1: I’m angry
Just get it off your chest, regardless if it serves any purpose: vent.
Level 2: You’re not giving me what I want.
The definition of your average narcissist: cry, piss, moan, bitch, gripe, grumble, moan, snivel, wail, whimper, whine, whinge, yammer, and 16 more terms.
Level 3: You’re not doing what you’re supposed to do.
Someone in authority (like your mom) will: criticize, disapprove, fret, kvetch, nag, and 6 more.
Level 4: You’re doing something immoral or illegal.
Be careful: accuse, beef, charge, contravene, impute, and indict.
Level 5: Society isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do.
Stand up to the Man: attack, defy, denounce, disagree, dissent, oppose, and protest.
Level 6: An important issue where we disagree.
Discussion and logic are required: demur, differ, expostulate, object, refute, and remonstrate.
Level 7: I want to try to change your mind.
This person knows better, but you ignore them because they’re not social media superstars: rant.
In a world that creates so much injustice, complaining can be a full time job.
We need truth tellers, cynics, protesters, investigative reporters, and lawyers to push back.
What we don’t need are posers who have everything and complain brag.
If you want to earn the right to complain, do it the old fashioned way by actually suffering.
Think I’m wrong?
Well, you can always tell me to get off my high horse perched atop that soap box in the comments below.