Why talking about the problem is not always the best solution
When people are sad, they don’t always want to talk about it, sometimes they just want to be distracted.
There is no perfect way to respond when someone says they are sad. Sometimes, just listening without judging can help them feel understood and supported, and there are simple things you can say to let them know you care and want to help them.
The issue why I think it’s difficult to tell someone that I feel bad because the first thing they want is to know why I am. And I know that’s not bad, after all, they just want to help me feel better, but when I'm like that, I don’t always want to talk about it, sometimes I just want to be distracted.
Do you want to talk about it or be distracted from it?
Why talking about the problem is not always the best solution
Problems are situations or issues that are pending a solution. Therefore, we start by knowing that every problem has a solution. If a situation or issue has no solution, then by definition it is not a problem, we are probably talking about reality.
Life often surprises us with unexpected situations that don’t require us to find a solution for them, since they only require the acceptance that life is like that. And we have to know how to live with these situations. For that reason, talking about what happened to us not always is going to help us. I think that we first need to understand that everything is going to be fine and that our problems don't define us.
In addition, when we are sad or worried, we do not always think clearly, so it is possible that in that state of mind we could not find a solution to our problems, so talking about them at those times will not be very helpful. Emotions act directly on the way we think, so we may have different thoughts when we are sad or happy.
What you can do to help when someone tells you is sad
Looking for a solution to the problem that is affecting us is not the only way in which we can make us feel better. And there are many ways a person can help us feel better, and it’s not necessarily talking about it. I will give you some examples.
Avoid all criticism for the moment
I have stopped talking to people because when I tell him about my problems, they attack me and tell me that I am the only one to blame for what is happening to me. Instead of supporting, people like that make you feel worse, I don’t need someone to tell me that I did things wrong, I already know that I’m wrong, I need support.
Many people feel very guilty about their situation, and criticism makes someone feel that he is not doing anything well. They have to feel that they are not blamed for being sad.
Give him support
Many times, a hug, a smile, watching a movie sitting together on the sofa are better than words so that the person feels accompanied. the support does not necessarily have to be about the problem we are facing. if not let them know that we are there for them in any area of their life.
Also, you can give him a hand with homework. Many times over-responsibilities can overwhelm us, help him reduce the number of homework is a good way to support someone.
Talk about the good qualities that this person has
Something that can help is to lower the negativity of the person. If he says that she will never get out of that situation or is not good enough, tell him all the positives qualities that he has. I can’t count how many times it has helped me to hear all the positive words a friend has to say to me.
Another thing that can help is to write all the things for what he is grateful, even that now probably he can’t think about how the good thing that happened to him, even simple things can help.
Ask him what he needs
If he wants to be alone, talk or a shoulder to cry on. The sad person must feel that you are here for what he needs. When a problem worries us, it prevents us from looking further to find the solution, for that reason, maybe what he needs now is not a solution.
Although this list seems simple to you, these suggestions have a great impact on the health of those who feel bad. Feeling that you are actively assisting in their recovery will make them feel that someone cares about that. You don’t necessarily have to attack the problem to find a solution, sometimes all we need is support.