Why someone else’s misfortune should not be your motivation.
We’ve all either heard or thought the phrase before…we’re watching an inspirational video, someone who has a special need does something we think they shouldn’t be able to do, and it comes out;
“If they can do it, what’s your excuse?”
I don’t know if its just me, but every time I hear this it makes me cringe a little. Now I won’t lie, I definitely have uttered these words to myself and to other people in the past. However I’m not quite sure when it happened, but I believe as I started interacting with people more intentionally and even had a close friend who had a disability something switched in my thinking.
I was recently watching Justin Bieber’s documentary on YouTube(which is actually pretty good, the behind the scenes access to fame allows you to realize how human and normal everyone is) and he said something I won’t forget. In talking about his own struggles he said “part of being human is we all have our own challenges”. That put into words how I felt about using someone else as motivation for yourself.
Every single person you encounter in life has their own struggles. Some struggles are more visible than others, however all of them are equally as valid and none should be discounted. What’s difficult for someone may not neccessarily be difficult for you and vise versa. I believe the trap we fall into is when we start to compare our struggles to someone else’s. Subconsciously we start to place people(including ourselves) on pedestals based on what their struggle is, and the thing about pedestals is someone is always looking down at another person. “Oh, you struggle with laziness…which isn’t that bad, you’re much more ‘normal’ than this person who’s struggle to overcome is they have a condition that makes it hard for them to lift heavy objects”. If both of those people overcame their struggle we would tend to praise the second person more and use them as motivation. If we aren’t careful we start to value people only for the motivation they provide us rather than valuing them because they are a human being. It’s almost like they become a zoo exhibit we swing back around to visit every time we need a little pick-me-up.
Another problem with using an outside factor like that for motivation is it is always a temporary feeling. If I struggle with laziness(which I do), watching someone complete a grueling exercise doesn’t help me deal with getting my own obstacle out of the way. How many times have we gone to watch a inspirational or motivational video to help motivate us, only to be crippled by our same struggle three days later? Lasting motivation MUST come from within. Those feel-good stories aren’t always going to be there for us when we need to get going so when that happens, then what? There has to be a resolve on the inside of each of us that no matter what our struggle may be we will continue to progress until we reach our goal.
Since the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant the “mamba mentality” has been at the forefront of my mind. Whether I’m at the gym, at work, or working on content the question I ask myself before I finish is “do I have anything left to give?”. That mentality is what made Kobe become one of the greatest basketball players of all time. He was not the most gifted physically compared to other NBA players, but when it came to work ethic he was far beyond his peers.
His motivation was always internal, only he knew if he truly had anything left to give, if he was holding anything back. The same is true for you, only you know if you have truly given it your all. I want to challenge you to make the decision with me that in all areas of life our motivation will come from answering the question of “do you have anything left to give?”.
Much Love
Mike