Why Some of Us Opt Out of the Rat Race

My husband’s recent trip to Korea sparked a flurry of contemplation within me, particularly about why none of his friends, all hovering around the age of 40, had taken the leap into marriage. As I delved into my analysis, I stumbled upon a labyrinth of societal norms and pressures that seemed to hold these men back from embracing the institution of marriage.

Firstly, let’s talk numbers. The cost of tying the knot and starting a family in Korea has skyrocketed to astronomical heights. From the elaborate ceremonies steeped in tradition to the hefty expenses associated with raising a child, the financial burden seems insurmountable. And with gender roles still deeply entrenched in Korean society, the weight of providing for the family falls disproportionately on the shoulders of men.

But it’s not just about the dollars and cents; it’s about the relentless pursuit of perfection, the unending race to keep up with the Joneses. In Korea, living is not just about existing; it’s about competing. From the moment you step foot into this society, you’re thrust into a never-ending race. The pressure to conform, to fit into the mold set by your peers, is suffocating.

Traditional weddings are not merely ceremonies; they are extravagant displays of wealth and status, leaving many feeling inadequate if they can’t measure up. And when it comes to raising children, the expenses only multiply. From exorbitant tuition fees to the relentless demand for designer goods, the cost of parenting in Korea is staggering.

Yet beneath the glitz and glamour lies a darker truth — a society plagued by gender inequality and impossible beauty standards. In Korea, beauty isn’t just skin deep; it’s a prerequisite for acceptance. From plastic surgeries to conforming to the latest fashion trends, the pressure to look the part is relentless.

It’s no wonder then that many choose to opt out of this relentless cycle altogether, preferring the solace of solitude over the suffocating pressures of society. For them, marriage is not a milestone to strive for but a burden to avoid.

But perhaps the most alarming aspect of it all is the declining birth rate, a symptom of a society in crisis. With more Koreans dying each year than being born, the future of the nation hangs in the balance. It’s a phenomenon that has earned Korea the moniker of “Hell Korea” — a place where the pursuit of perfection comes at a devastating cost. The birth rate has plummeted to such depths that it’s now below 1%, painting a stark picture of the challenges ahead.

As I reflect on my husband’s journey through the complexities of Korean society, I can’t help but feel a sense of gratitude for the life we’ve built together. While Korea may be a land of opportunity for some, for others, it’s a prison of expectations and unattainable standards.

So, as we navigate our way through the maze of marriage and societal pressures, let us remember that happiness isn’t found in conformity but in embracing our true selves, flaws and all. And perhaps, just perhaps, by challenging the status quo, we can pave the way for a brighter, more inclusive future for all. And to think, the only one who tied the knot among my husband’s circle of friends is my husband, and that’s because he was fortunate enough to escape Korea and move to America where we eloped in Las Vegas with just a small group of 20 friends attending.

Thanks for reading~! I am very grateful~~!! I’m wishing everyone PEACE, LOVE & JOY~~~!!!