Why Social Media Has Ruined Modern Dating

Communication Skills Continue to Decrease

My History

As I write this today, I am currently 23 years old and single. While I did have two different serious relationships throughout high school and college, I have not dated since my freshman year of college. Although there is a multitude of reasons for this, several of which I will get into later, I believe the main reason is kids nowadays have too many options.

Back In The Old Days

Before I get into what I mentioned above, I think it will be helpful to first explain the story of how my parents met. Growing up, my parents' families lived down the block from each other. In fact, both of their dads grew close to each other over their interest in hunting.

While my mom and dad knew of each other, they never hung out and both lived separate lives. After college though, luck had it that they would both move into the same apartment complex in Chicago. Following that, the rest was history.

The reason I share this anecdote is that I believe that many people who are married and have kids nowadays could tell you a similar story about how they met. While sure everyone might not be as so lucky to move into the same apartment complex as the love of their life, I’d be willing to bet that many ended up getting married to people they grew up with.

Now, as I sit here and think about how previous generations, including my parents’, met their significant others, I am left with one question. Why does everything feel so different now?

Social Media Has Changed the Game

In my head, the biggest change that comes to mind is the addition of social media into the world. With dating apps like Tinder or Hinge readily available for teenagers and young adults, people nowadays are experiencing unprecedented access to potential new partners.

While having essentially unlimited access to new partners is exciting, I believe it is actually doing more harm than good to society. Below I listed out some of the reasons I feel this way:

Hookup Culture Has Rapidly Increased and Become Normalized- Dating apps have significantly accelerated people’s abilities to find sexual partners and arrange casual sexual hookups. Because of this, we are experiencing a cultural shift where casual sex has become increasingly acceptable and prevalent.
More Emphasis On Physical Attraction and Sexual Gratification-As instant gratification becomes more and more available with social media, we are also seeing a rise in the “shopping for partners” mentality where people are constantly looking for the next best thing.
Decrease In Communication Skills- The ease of communication through messaging features on dating apps has led to a decline in face-to-face interactions. Now, not only do people prefer to communicate behind a screen, but they are also saying they are having confidence and discomfort issues when they actually have to interact with others in person.

Maybe It's Me

Call me old school, but I think I would have rather grown up in the days when everyone either asks out someone in person or got their number and called them to ask them out over the phone. Social media and texting have made communicating real emotions extremely hard and even sometimes socially awkward.