Why Showing up Is Your Most Underrated Superpower That Leads to Success
Create your own definition and let that guide your actions
Showing up is something that can be very simple in practicality but is not always easy. Sometimes it’s actually the hardest thing to do. And it really is the most vital step to living the life you’re capable of living.
Upon googling “Show Up,” here are a few definitions that appeared:
- To be consciously or clearly visible
- To arrive or turnout for a social event or gathering
- To be plainly evident
- To become involved with others and make an active contribution
Other interchangeable words for showing up were: Present, emerge, be, turn out and come on the scene.
Like with most definitions, the most powerful ones are of your own creation.
They provide this unspoken gospel you adhere to and become your compass.
What’s your definition of showing up?
What do you feel when you hear the phrases:
- “Thank yourself for showing up today.”
- “The most important thing is just showing up.”
- “Nothing else matters, as long as you show up.”
I use the Shine App as part of my morning ritual. The ominous voice that leads our meditation frequently thanks us for showing up. And always reminds us to thank ourselves for showing up.
We have “daily check-ins” where we answer what we’re grateful for today and one small thing we’ll do to care for ourselves. I reviewed my last month of check-ins, and I often wrote that I was grateful for how I showed up for myself.
A class I’m currently taking starts at 8 pm and goes on until 11 pm. For a notorious morning person, it’s hard for me to show up and learn this late in the day.
A girl in my class, who looked like she had seen better days, revealed she just got released from the hospital. She was having stroke-like symptoms, and they didn’t know exactly what was wrong with her. My first thought as she was sharing this traumatic horror story was, “Holy shit. I cannot believe she showed up for class.”
Another woman was “about-to-pop” pregnant and getting a C-section the next morning. Again, I’m sorry — If I were about to birth a mini human, I probably wouldn’t have shown up.
Another girl was smiling through a state of heartbreak dealing with the end of a relationship. Another person was having work-related problems to the point of getting heart palpitations. Another was in an ongoing legal battle with family members.
It would be hard to show up in all of their situations, and yet, they all did.
These lovely humans showed up as their full selves. They weren’t ashamed of what they were going through, and they thankfully didn’t feel the need to “fake it till they make it.” Even if they would’ve rather not shown up or would’ve preferred showing up in a better mood, they weren’t hindered or deterred.
Showing up is a superpower.
Showing up for yourself, for your commitments, or even just showing up at the present moment and being open to what is there.
We all have our own definitions of showing up, and every single day we get to redefine what it means for that day.
That doesn’t mean to take a lazy approach and be like, “Today I’m going to show up for Netflix and a Taco Bell crunch wrap supreme.”
It’s how you will show up for your head, heart, and body today. How are you going to show up for your passion and your dreams? And your responsibilities to yourself and others?
Showing up even in the smallest of ways is sexy.
Showing up can be one of your superpowers, and it’s one that adapts and meets you wherever you are.
My definition of showing up based on all that’s explored above is:
I will allow myself to be consciously visible as my solid self and emerge from whatever state I’m in to arrive at the present moment. Ask my heart, head, and body what they need and make sure I “come on the scene.” Even if my voice is just a whisper, even if I can only give 1% of my efforts. It’s better than me not sharing my voice and giving 0% of my efforts. There will be a day when I show up, and my voice is as loud as a lion's roar, and I’m operating at 110%. But showing up is meeting myself where I am today, at this moment, and choosing to take the smallest step forward.
What’s your definition of showing up?
Showing up will only be important if you define it for yourself. What does showing up mean to you? Create your own definition for yourself to live by. It will be the only definition that truly matters, and it will define how you take the action of showing up. The actions you take really define what you believe.
You can let your definition run through your head all day long. But it’s meaningless unless it’s put into practice and action is given to the meaning.
Define what showing up means to you, and then practice the act of doing it.
How you show up for yourself?
The most important person to show up for is yourself.
When you think about showing up for yourself, what does that mean? What does that look like and feel like? How do you know when you’re currently showing up for yourself? Have you been showing up for yourself?
You can’t show up for anything or anyone else in your life until you show up for yourself and make sure you’re taken care of.
You also show up in a completely individualized and unique way. No one else on this entire planet can show up in the same way you can.
That’s why the act of comparison is silly and destructible. How you show up and how someone else shows up will never be the same. Similar, maybe, but can never, ever be identical.
How you write about a topic for an article and how someone else shows up to write it will be wildly different. How my mom shows up for her patients and how another dentist does will provide a completely unique experience.
And if any of you are sitting there questioning if there’s anything unique about how you show up… or you’re wondering if there’s anything “special” about the way you show up… let me share this with you.
Author and life coach Mel Robbins discussed in her Ted Talk how based on research, between natural disasters, and wars, and all the crazy shit that happens in life, the chances of you being born at the time you were born, to the parents you were born to, and the fact that you’re sitting here right now… is 1 in 400 trillion chance.
Doesn’t that make you feel wildly unique!? So whenever you feel like “I’m just fine, I’m just average!” no, you’re fantastic! The odds that you’ve already beaten in life just to be sitting here… look at you go!
Take some time to think about that. What do you bring that’s unique? How does that provide value? Because it does.
I just think that is so rad. I get hyped by that idea. No one in the entire universe will ever show up in the same way you will.
Based on your own definition of showing up, ask yourself how you will put action behind it. How will you show up for yourself? How will you be present to your own needs and desires? How will you show up for your passions and purpose?
How will you show up for your external responsibilities?
Whether it be your child, your day job, or your bills. I’m a master procrastinator with anything related to my car, my taxes, or general paperwork that annoys me. Whenever I show up at the last minute, I kick myself, wondering when I’m going to learn to show up earlier.
If you’ve committed to something, you need to evaluate how you’re going to show up. You need to make a plan to ensure that you do indeed show up.
There is nothing worse than not showing up when you’ve already made the promise and commitment to do so. How will you show up to meet your external commitments?
How you show up for those around you?
How do you show up for your friends? Your partner? Your parents? Your co-workers? How do you show up for those in your community?
You can’t show up for everyone. Choose the people who are going to be important enough for you to show up for. Show up for the people who show up for you.
Ask people how you can show up for them. Or offer the ability you have to show up if they need it. Some of the most powerful moments of your life may come in the form of showing up for someone else when they needed you to.
It’s a true skill asking someone to show up for you and being able to recognize when you need that.
Once you show up for yourself and your other responsibilities, you can give someone else the gift of showing up for them. And what greater gift to give?
How do you show up when it’s hard to?
Shit happens. All the time. You’re human. Some days are going to totally blow. Some days are going to be really hard to show up. On those days, show up the best that you can that day. Use what you have and where you are. Showing up the best that you can that day, that’s showing up for yourself.
The most powerful time to show up is when it’s the hardest to do it. That’s when all the practice of showing up comes into play. And it’s not about showing up how you did yesterday.
Don’t compare yourself to how you used to show up — focus on how you can show up right now.
When it’s hard to show up for yourself, your responsibilities, and those around you, make sure you take time to process, heal and come back to yourself. Ask yourself how you need to show up for yourself today. That could be doing the most important task on your to-do list and then taking time for yourself. Or committing to taking yourself on a walk during a time when you’re dancing with depression.
When you’re down, when life is an absolute mess, still show up in the best way that you can for yourself.
How can you show up better moving forward?
In coaching, one of the simplest but most effective frameworks we use is the Hallway Conversation.
It’s broken down into three parts: Where are you now? Where do you want to go? What’s standing in your way?
Wherever you are today is where you’re at right now. Every day is a brand new chance. The slate is wiped clean. Tomorrow is where you’re going. You’re taking all of your resiliency, all of what you learned, all the strength you garnered, and you’re moving forward.
Every day is another opportunity to show up. How are you showing up today? How do you face any roadblock that is in your way? How can you show up better for yourself tomorrow?
Take-Aways
Showing up is a superpower that leads to success in your relationships and your career.
Create your definition of what showing up means to you, and let that be the words that guide you. Put action behind your definition.
Show up for yourself first and foremost. You’ll always be the most important person to show up for. Care about yourself enough to show up.
Show up for those around you and your external responsibilities. Showing up for someone could be life-changing for them and you. Never underestimate the power the gift of showing up is.
Show up when it’s hard. That’s when it matters the most.
You can always show up better tomorrow by showing up for yourself today.
Maddie is a writer, voice-over artist, and certified life coach. Self-declared boxed wine aficionado.