Why Should A Hetero Orgasm Be All About The P In V?
My favorite sex move gets way too much flack.
According to OkCupid, I am more “sexperienced” than my fellow singles on the site. Okay, so I definitely don’t believe that’s true, but I suspect they rank me as more experienced simply because I admit to having had a threesome and I’m pretty open to trying new things.
Except more anal. Dudes, I think I’m pretty much done trying that.
At any rate, it’s taken me a very long time to become more comfortable with my sexuality. I’ve had to consciously and deliberately unlearn a whole lot of mixed messages about sex being dirty, evil, or wrong.
As a result of of my rigid upbringing and faulty sexual education, sexual freedom is pretty damn important to me.
Even if that means me being all “awkward and aspie” during sex.
Or before sex.
And after sex.
Seriously, people. I’m so awkward. And definitely not someone I would consider to be a “sexpert.”
That said, there clearly aren’t enough conversations about the awkwardness of sex for exvangelicals. So perhaps you can consider me an expert in awkward conversations about sex.
I even have an awkward sex move to go with it. Sorry not sorry.
I’m pretty much a clit girl.
Yeah, still don’t understand why some guys insist that they know a woman’s body better than she does. In the past when I didn’t know so much about sex or relationships, I kept running into dudes who insisted that a vaginal or anal orgasm would best for me.
To this day, I’m like, nope. Big nope. Take my word for it, my very best orgasms happen through clitoral stimulation.
For whatever reason, our culture behaves as if the only heterosexual sex that counts is P in V penetrative sex. It’s confusing, and I don’t completely get the obsession.
It’s not that I can’t enjoy that kind of sex. I definitely do. But for me, P in V penetrative sex is more like scratching a very deep itch after we’ve been doing a whole bunch of other good stuff. It’s not my go-to activity for mindblowing orgasms.
My “mindblowing” orgasms work the clit.
Even a dildo doesn’t need to be focused on vaginal penetration.
Some people seem to forget (or overlook) that women’s sex toys don’t need to focus on our vaginas. Though, if that’s you’re preference, ladies? No judgment.
Practically everyone talks about dildos and vibrators as if they’re merely stand-ins for a much-needed dick. And as if they only belong in a vagina.
But most women go for clitoral stimulation when pleasing themselves. If it’s nice to give the clit attention during solo sex, who wouldn’t like to bring our clit into the mix with a partner?
Let me go wild…
The best sex, in my opinion, is the most comfortable and free. I’m talking about the kind of sex where you let yourself move without fear of anything your partner might think. And vice versa.
Total acceptance is very sexy.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’ve had a good deal of bad sex back when I didn’t know any better. And one of my requests that some guys would try to make me feel bad about was my desire to get off on their dick by rubbing my clit with their member.
Seriously. What’s so complicated about that?
I like to do it both on my back and on top of the guy. Both ways work. But incredibly, I’ve had guys tell me that’s “too weird.” Or that they don’t see the point.
It’s a response I will never understand because for a hetero man, what’s hotter than watching a woman take charge of her own orgasm?
I’m pretty sure that the men who dismiss the suggestion as “weird” have no clue how much they’re missing out.
Sex shouldn’t be so uptight.
When adults complain about boring sex, I can’t help but think it’s because they’ve lost some creativity in exchange for some formula of whatever they think good sex “should” entail.
Making out and dry humping can be incredibly hot. But too many grownups get uptight about the whole damn thing. Like they don’t want to do what teenagers do.
They just want to get to the “good stuff.”
But penetrative, P in V intercourse isn’t the only way to cum together, right? Why should that be the end goal when it’s not even a stellar recipe for the female orgasm? Why not play around and enjoy each other a little more?
Good sex doesn’t need a script. We should get to have fun, be silly, and even act like teens if we want. We should be able to say, “Hey, this feels so good.” Without judgment.
What I love about using a dick to stimulate my clit is that it feels like a step beyond dry humping… it’s deliciously wet, and I get to invite my partner to see more of what masturbation looks like for me.
Because for me? Solo sex is definitely not about veiny dildos, hot dogs, or enormous cucumbers.
You should give it a go.
Guys, if you haven’t already added clitoral stimulation through multiple means including your dick, you should really give it a try.
Among all the guys who just couldn’t catch the vision, most had no problem with getting themselves off in multiple ways. Blow jobs, hand jobs, vaginal sex, anal sex--those things were decidedly not weird.
But their dick on my clit? Oh, their poor, tender sensibilities.
Meh. I’m over knee jerk reaction those guys have had about it. And I think it’s time to accept that there are other kinds of orgasms. P in V is not the only way to be DTF.
Ladies, if you prefer clitoral stimulation like me, let your partner know. Show them.
And don’t let them get away with the notion that your orgasms should only come a certain way.
We shouldn’t be afraid to try new things with our bodies, and there’s nothing weird about getting off on a guy’s dick by using that dick to stroke your clit.
I’d say it’s perfectly natural.
