Why She Stopped Having Sex with You Isn’t About Love
Can a girl love you and still deny you sex?
Everybody wants to feel loved. The first few months of a new relationship are all horny and roses. You’re flirting, kissing, touching, and sexting. You can’t get enough of each other.
You can have sex twice or thrice a day and it still won’t be enough. You bang everywhere — in the bathroom, living room, kitchen — and even in public places. You want to try all types of sex — porn sex, crazy sex, bondage sex, erotic sex, you name it.
But once that romance stage fades, the relationship begins to fickle. You move into the commitment stage. You complain too much about anything and everything. You get comfortable and lose interest in your partner’s emotional needs.
Women often experience a decline in their sex life during the commitment stage. Sex becomes a duty, an obligation to keep the man from leaving.
Routine sex kills the passion quicker than lying and cheating.
If you’re feeling unusually daunting in the bedroom and suddenly wondering, ‘why have I gone off sex?’ don’t worry, you’re not alone in this boat.
Sometimes my girlfriends complain about their low sex drive. They feel guilty for denying their partners sex and getting turned off when their men try to initiate sex.
I must say not being in a committed relationship does have its perk. For one, I don’t have to deal with such guilt. My friends are scared they will lose their men if they don’t get their sexual drive up.
When I asked if they still love their men, most of them were 100% sure they do. But when I asked, “how does sex feel for you?” They all had mixed feelings, which I will be discussing shortly.
Sex does naturally decline in a relationship. People also go through dry spells when someone is overburdened or stressed.
In relationships, guys often love because of sex and women love because of romance. So if she’s not doing what makes you happy, your relationship will slowly break.
But what if you are the reason for her lack of interest?
Although, it’s natural for that initial spark to flicker a little less intensely over time, but, if you fear she’s losing interest in you entirely, that can’t be good.
The good news is if you can recognize why her sex drive is low, you can fix it before it’s too late.
The reason she’s losing interest in sex is not because she stopped loving you
When I tell my male friends that a woman can stay with you just for the sex even if you are not her type, they didn’t believe me.
It’s true women are aroused by their emotions. So if your woman suddenly stops getting turned on by you despite your efforts, then chances are you did something to kill her desire.
However, there are a lot of variables that cause a woman to lose interest in sex. The most popular reasons are stress, hormonal changes, and birth control pills.
But, if she has checked these problems but still experiences disinterest to have sex, you might wanna check if you are guilty of doing one of the five major turn-offs in women.
You’ve centered your relationship around sex
Men are sexual creatures. We have heard that too many times and years of civilization haven’t changed that.
A guy once said to me “a man won’t chase you unless he’s interested in more than friendship.” I tried to argue it, but he was right.
A man’s brain is wired around sex, but women, not so much. When you make insensitive comments about her assets and constantly tease her body parts, or you brag about your sexual skills, you come off as a jerk. But she also gets the impression that you want her for just sex.
So if you’ve made sex the base of your relationship, it’s natural for your girlfriend to feel like a sex tool and women hate that tag.
You brag about your financial security
If there is one particular man women can’t stand is an egocentric man. It’s okay to impress a woman, show her you’ve got values and that you are not a low-life opportunist or gold digger.
However, what is not cool is shoving your success down her throat any minute. I used to think it was only immature guys that do it. But no! Grown-ass men do it too and it’s annoying.
When you don’t return her texts, or calls or make time to visit her because you are too busy, you make her feel like a burden. It means she’s not on your priority list and if she insists you give her some attention, she becomes a nag.
If you have to tell her how much you bought your Rolex or Lamborghini when she’s discussing something important, she will feel disrespected and ignored.
So while you may be successfully sailing your career, you will lose her interest in you and everything about you.
Whatever accomplishments you’ve made and no matter how much you have, the way you reveal this truth will make her see you as humbly confident or unattractively insecure.
Unless she’s a gold digger, women don’t want you showing off your success to prove your worth. For a secure independent woman, the more you overtly show off your success, the less attractive you are.
You apply logic in the bedroom
Women like to analyze everything logically. But that doesn’t mean when you come straight in our face and tell us “you want sex now” or “babe, can we have sex tonight” we will leave everything we are doing and get into banging mood.
Some men have no tact when they want to arouse a woman. Trying to use logic to explain to her, why she should have sex with you won’t cut it. And it’s one of the worst things you can do to attract a woman because it is frustrating and turns us off.
Women are more emotionally triggered than men. Logic doesn’t work in the bedroom. Women want to feel your arousal. We mirror a man’s sexual sensation.
If you don’t own and feel your sexuality, women won’t feel it either. It will register in her body but she won’t know why she’s not turned on. So if you want to know how to get your woman turned on, you have to feel turned on to trigger her button.
Your busy days create a sex block
Guys, we know you have to work and support your family. But if she becomes accustomed to your absence that can drive her sexual desire to the low.
It’s easy to stop having sex when you’re stressed, tired, or just simply busy. A few days without sex can snowball into weeks. And before I knew it months have passed.
The more time you lose, the harder it will be to get your sexual mojo back. Your job shouldn’t be an excuse not to have sex with your partner. A five-minute massage can help relieve her tension and get her in the mood.
Although there are days she may just want romance, a cuddle, or foreplay, but going off sex for months begs a question.
If your girlfriend is suddenly too tired for sex, try finding out what is causing her fatigue. Is she tired from work or family? Or has she grown accustomed to not having sex and using tiredness as an excuse?
You are too critical
Sometimes we criticize people without realizing it. We turn a complaint into criticism when we judge a person’s character instead of the action.
Nobody enjoys being criticized or picked apart, but it’s especially painful when your partner — your soul mate — is the one being critical and hurting you.
It’s demoralizing to be belittled and shut down instead of being appreciated when you are trying your best to make the relationship work.
Women hate when you criticize their bodies or call them crazy. When they voice out their discretion or when you compare them with your ex.
It’s unlikely that your sexual desire will match that of your partner. When you criticize her flaws and mock the things she likes, it makes her feel inadequate. She will most likely get turned off to share her emotional needs.
And because a woman thrives through emotional connection, your attacks on her personality will set her off.
For the relationship to work in the long term, the couple must learn to provide constructive criticism rather than just attack each other’s personalities or behaviors.
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