Why Self-Improvement is Everything
For the longest time, I have always put others before myself. I think it’s because it was a way of distracting myself from my inner sadness. Depression and anxiety were constantly making my mind an unsafe place to live. That mixed with OCD and the suicidal thoughts that would present themselves when my mind could no longer cope with the manic torment. These mental illnesses were ruling my mind and dictating my life.
Instead of focusing on trying to make myself happy, I would shift my focus to making others happy and I think it is because I do not want them to feel the same pain I have felt in my life. The loneliest people are often the life of the party in the public eye but when their eyes are closed the darkness returns and the sadness suffocates them to sleep. When Darkness is all you know it becomes your comfort.
My mum would often say ‘‘ You can help others but you can’t help yourself.’’ I think I struggled to help myself because I did not know how, I could help others better their lives and they would come away happier from a conversation with me but I could never seem to implement my advice into my own life. Sometimes you are so lost that you feel like you will never find yourself.
After awhile, I started to notice a pattern in my life, all the people I helped were happy but I was sad. When they needed me, I was there but when I reached out for help everyone was silent. They say don’t suffer in silence but sometimes your cry for help falls on deaf ears. It is almost as if you are invisible or standing in front of a crowd and everyone is starring right through you. It makes you question your existence and your purpose. Do I even exist? Am I here for a reason? Or was I just born to drift into the background?
I started to meditate and it changed my life. It altered my perspective on everything and brought me inner peace and calmness. Meditation heightens your consciousness and you start to become more aware of your surroundings. I started to see the true reality of the world. People I considered my friends never checked in on me or even wished me happy birthday but yet I was always there for them. I have gone out of my way so many times for others and never received the same treatment. Expressing myself on social media was a cry for help that no one answered. I was tired of reaching out and receiving no replies. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. When you start to realise that no one is coming to save you, that is when true change happens. You become your own superhero and you start to put all of your attention and focus on yourself. Self-improvement is a journey but it’s a beautiful journey and you start to learn a lot about yourself.
Putting yourself first is not selfish. It is life-changing and mind-strengthening. I started to understand my mind and what was making it a difficult place to live in. My special needs and mental illnesses were working in sync with one another and although it was making me unhappy, it was fascinating to discover. ADHD was the reason why there were millions of thoughts running around my mind. Anxiety and OCD were latching onto the random thoughts and that was giving me high levels of anxiety and depression that led to suicidal thoughts.
I began to distance myself from people and focus on myself and improving my life. I have the desire to become a millionaire and in order to reach that level of success. I have to dedicate my time to what is important and get rid of the things that serve no purpose in my life. I spend time in my day to meditate and journal and plan out my route to success. Going out clubbing is not something I often do as I do not see the point in going out and spending large amounts of money on alcohol every week when I can save or invest my money. People work all week then spend their money on things that serve no purpose in their life or self-improvement then complain about being in the same place they were 10 years ago and that they have no money. Maybe it’s just me but I do not see how people can justify going out each week, what are they celebrating? I believe you should celebrate every success no matter how big or small it is but just going out for the sake of it makes no sense to me. I invest my money into books, my health and things that will better my life like my education. If I decide to go out it’s not very often and most of the time going out is planned way in advance or it’s to celebrate success.
I have aspirations of changing my entire social circle and mixing with individuals that will make me better. Success breeds success and I am sure you have heard the saying ‘‘You are only as good as your surroundings.’’ I have no problem with people who work a dead-end job and spend their weekends drinking if that’s how you want to live your life, that is your decision but I want more in life. The thought of success keeps me up at night and hunger for wealth rumbles my stomach. I spend my days researching and reading and watching videos on entrepreneurs and building my projects so I get closer to my dream of becoming successful. There is so much information out there that can help with self-improvement, you just need to put in the hours of research. Success is possible, you just have to want it. Do not make it just an option make it the only option. Self-improvement gives you purpose and purpose gives your life meaning.
If you like what you have read and want to support my work. You can always buy me a coffee have a wonderful day and always believe in yourself.
