Why Saying “I Don’t Know” Is the Smartest Course for Today
The positive message you send when you admit you don’t have all the answers.
I don’t know.
Why are we so afraid of those three little words? Do we think people will assume we’re stupid? Are we afraid they will stop loving us?
Maybe it’s not always been this way, but more and more I see people who fear saying the words. They dread the idea of appearing uneducated, uninformed, or unconnected.
To appear knowledgeable, many will say the first words to pop into their head, even if they don’t know the solution. They don’t realize that those in the know will judge them as more ignorant for spitting out anything than if they had just admitted they didn’t know.
Often the ones who know the facts are willing to remain silent and watch. It’s entertaining to watch the over-eager dig themself into a deep hole. There’s an evil glee that laughs inside me when I watch a know-it-all dispense worthless and incorrect information. Even if I remain silent, their misinformation is soon revealed.
We live in a time of instant gratification. No matter what question you have, there is an article or video on the internet with an answer. Digital downloads and streaming services supply anything you want to watch. Companies are even feverishly working on the logistics of drone delivery so you can get your package in as little as thirty minutes.
Is all this instant gratification a good thing? I’ll let you decide, but good or bad, it is changing the way we think about the world and ourselves. The instant access to knowledge makes many feel like they should know everything.
But no one can.
Even more important, there is value in the words, “I don’t know.”
The Value of Humility
No one likes a know-it-all. We all know them. There’s the guy who wants to explain how to fix everything, or the girl who’s quick to solve all your relationship problems. Maybe it’s the person at work who imagines they know how to do your job better than you.
Whether we say it or not, none of us likes a know-it-all. Recognizing that, why would we want to be them?
I have an acquaintance who knows everything. All you have to do is ask and she’ll tell you. She’s not shy about sharing what she thinks she knows.
What’s sad is every time she opens her mouth, you can hear the collective eye rolls circle around the room like a wave at a football game. She is so frequently inaccurate in the information she bombards you with that people won’t listen, even when she offers correct information.
Of course, it would be wonderful to have Yoda-like wisdom, but let’s not forget that he was 900 when he died in Return of the Jedi. When you’re 900, I give you permission to be a know-it-all. Until then, recognize what you don’t know.
Humility naturally draws others to us. When someone admits they don’t know the answer, we can’t help but have more respect for them. Shocking as it may seem, saying these three words can actually help you.
“I Don’t Know” in Business
For eighteen years, I worked in the insurance industry. For twelve of those years, I was the lead trainer for my company.
During that time, I worked with many people with no insurance background. Invariably, they all faced the same fear.
“What do I do if a client asks a question, and I don’t know the answer?”
My answer? Tell them.
People appreciate honesty, and if you admit you need to research a question or consult with someone with more experience, it endears the client to you. Later, when you find the answer and contact the client again, it does two things. One, it keeps you fresh in their mind. Two, it teaches them your clients’ needs are important to you.
Now I work as a tax preparer. The current US Internal Revenue Code, the backbone of US Tax Law, is 6,516 pages. Obviously, no one can know everything in the code. Throughout each year, many clients will ask questions, and I won’t know the answer.
Since I’ve worked as a tax preparer for a few years, I will often have an idea of the answer, but will still tell my client I have to get back to them.
Very few things with taxes are black and white. Even IRS employees will joke with you saying the two biggest words in the revenue code are “generally” and “except.” If you’ve ever read any tax publication, you know that’s painfully true.
Every time a question comes up, you have to examine it with your current client in mind. Very few issues have a one-size fits all answer.
That’s okay. My willingness to research their question and then know where to look for the answer provides value to my clients. My ability to understand the code and then explain it to them in easy-to-understand terms makes them love me.
“I don’t know” can make you more valuable in your job as well.
You Know a Lot
Here’s the good news: you probably know more than you think you do.
Let’s go back to insurance for a moment. Most of the men and women I trained during my insurance tenure had recently passed their insurance producer’s license exam. In Tennessee, the licensing process involves taking a course and passing a test.
Having the required knowledge to pass the test meant that when the new agent sat down in front of their first client, they already knew a lot more than the general population. Even if they couldn’t answer every question, they understood more about insurance than their first clients.
It’s easy to forget how much we know, especially in times of stress. There is a lot in that head of yours. In fact, to some people, you may even appear to be an expert in your career field. Just don’t go around saying you’re an expert unless you want the eyes to start rolling again.
Saying, “I don’t know,” doesn’t negate your wealth of knowledge. It simply lets your listener know that you recognize you could know more.
The next time you face a situation where you don’t know an answer, try saying, “I don’t know.” The positive response may surprise you.
Until next time, keep fighting.
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