avatarKeno Ogbo

Summary

The article explores the paradoxical comfort and happiness that sad songs can provide to individuals experiencing melancholy.

Abstract

The author shares a personal account of finding solace in listening to sad music during bouts of unexplained sadness. This phenomenon is supported by a study from the University of South Florida, which found that individuals, particularly those with depression, often prefer sad music for its calming effect. The article delves into several reasons why sad songs might alleviate negative emotions: they validate the listener's feelings, provide a personal space for reflection, fulfill the expectation of sadness, and offer a sense of shared experience and healing. The author concludes by citing Elton John's lyrics, emphasizing the profound impact sad songs can have on our emotional well-being.

Opinions

  • Sad songs validate feelings of sadness, which can be therapeutic in a world that often emphasizes positivity.
  • Unlike upbeat music that demands engagement, sad songs allow listeners to retreat into their own space and process emotions.
  • The expectation of feeling sad while listening to sad songs can lead to a sense of satisfaction when those feelings are experienced, a concept known as "sweet anticipation."
  • Sad songs can serve as a companion in sorrow, providing a sense of shared experience and empathy that aids in emotional healing.
  • The author expresses a personal preference for sad songs over more traditional methods, like recalling favorite things, to cope with sadness.
  • The article suggests that the shared human experience of pain, as expressed through music, can bring comfort and joy, even

Why Sad Songs Make Me Happy, Even When I Feel Low

Turn ’em on, turn ’em on

Photo by Pim Chu on Unsplash

I get sad quite a bit. Maybe I always did, or maybe I notice it more as I grow older. It’s not a deep depression, or a sad sadness, but mostly I feel bereft, even though I haven’t lost anything. Perhaps it’s grief for the life I never had. On the other hand, I am your perennial joyful person. Enjoying the life I have, experiencing and living each day to its fullness.

Back to sadness

I have been in and out of sadness for the past few days. A lingering out of sorts. I have been functional, barely, but enough to tick off my to-do list. Finally, yesterday at nine, just gone the evening news, I was fed-up of being sad and not knowing why.

I looked down with annoyance at the Block Puzzle game on my phone, the flashing bricks, easy logic and satisfying purrs had kept me captive for over an hour. I switched it off, and wandered to the kitchen. Looked at the naughty shelf. Chocolate digestives, Cadbury’s buttons, Chin-chin, M&Ms. Not today.

Suddenly I remembered and said aloud to my sister. “Have you noticed, there has been no music in this house for days.” It was my eureka moment. I went upstairs. Spotify. Playlist. Sad Songs. In less than five minutes, I was chilled, content, happy, wrapped up in warmth.

And it seems I am not alone.

The Deccan Herald reports a study carried out by University of South Florida and published in Emotion, the magazine of the American Psychological Association. 76 Female undergraduates (half of them diagnosed with depression) indicated they would rather listen to sadder pieces of music as it made them calmer and less agitated.

(Source: https://www.deccanherald.com/metrolife/metrolife-your-bond-with-bengaluru/do-sad-songs-make-you-happy-734012.html)

Why do sad songs make me feel better?

This morning I decided to reflect on my experience and see if I could understand why sad songs make me happy. Here is what I think.

Sad songs confirm it’s okay to be sad

Listening to someone else pouring out their sadness, haunted in voice and melody gives validation to my sadness. In today’s world where content is filled with positivity, inspirational quotes, images of success and smiles. It’s almost socially unacceptable to be sad. Sad songs remove me from this ‘happy world’ and reduces the loneliness and sadness I feel. It’s okay to be sad, so I don’t miss the happiness, The ‘ out of sorts’ feelings disappear, and all is right with the world again.

Sad songs reduce the anxieties of keeping up with the positivity I ‘should’ be feeling.

Sad songs provide personal space

I love listening to upbeat Afrobeat music. It originated in Western African, and its vibrant rhythm makes me wanna dance, wriggle, through my hands up in the air and forget my sorrows. But I do all this in the space of the music. I enter the music and lose myself for a moment. Sad songs on the other hand do not force me into their space. The singer is so wrapped up in his own sadness. I can hear the pain and longing in their voices. But they don’t let me in.

So I am able to enter my own space and in my space, my soul dances because the rhythm comes with it. Makes sense?

Sad songs make me feel better about life

Maria, the lead character in the movie, The Sound of Music, remembers her favourite things and doesn’t feel so bad, according to the song. I don’t know how she does it, but when I am sad, I don’t remember much of my good life, and even when I do, I don’t feel better. Sad songs on the other hand makes me feel much better. An article in popular science explains it like this:

Part of the reason for this could be that we expect to feel sad, and are thus pleased when our expectations come to pass, a phenomenon called “sweet anticipation.”

Source: https://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-07/why-we-cant-help-love-sad-songs/

Sad songs help me heal

Listening to a sad song is like being with someone who knows exactly what I am going through. The reason for their sadness may be different from mine, but in expressing the same emotion, I feel heard and validated. In return, I can empathise with the singer.

I become more present, and in that moment ‘as-is’ I find the acceptance I need and that brings the solace I need.

A sad song says it best

I could read and quote from psychology research and music therapists, but I don’t need to. I don’t need to be convinced. Sad songs, rather than my favourite things bring me joy. I’ll leave you with these words from Elton John.

Guess there are times when we all need to share a little pain And ironing out the rough spots Is the hardest part when memories remain And it's times like these when we all need to hear the radio 'Cause from the lips of some old singer We can share the troubles we already know

Turn 'em on, turn 'em on Turn on those sad songs When all hope is gone Why don't you tune in and turn them on

They reach into your room, oh oh oh Just feel their gentle touch (gentle touch) When all hope is gone Sad songs say so much

If someone else is suffering enough oh to write it down When every single word makes sense Then it's easier to have those songs around The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you And it feels so good to hurt so bad And suffer just enough to sing the blues

So turn 'em on, turn 'em on Turn on those sad songs When all hope is gone Why don't you tune in and turn them on

They reach into your room, oh oh oh Just feel their gentle touch (gentle touch) When all hope is gone You know sad songs say so much

Sad songs, they say Sad songs, they say Sad songs, they say Sad songs, they say so much

So, turn 'em on, (turn 'em on), turn 'em on, (turn 'em on) Turn on those sad songs When all hope is gone Why don't you tune in and turn them on

They reach into your room, oh oh oh Just feel their gentle touch (gentle touch) When all hope is gone You know sad songs say so much When all hope is gone You know sad songs say so much

When ever little bit of hope is gone Sad songs say so much When ever little bit of hope is gone Sad songs say so much When all hope is gone Sad songs say

Source: LyricFind | Songwriters: Bernie Taupin / Elton John |. Sad Songs (Say So Much) (Remastered 2017) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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