Why Raising My Little Girls is So Important

“Daddy, I love you,” my four year old says randomly while we are getting groceries at the store. She has a smile on her face and leans up against me for a hug. My heart melts. There is something more special than you child telling you she loves you without an provocation.

More and more these days I have been thinking about the important job I have raising my two daughters. At ages four and two, they don’t have a lot of the world closing in on them, but one day they will. And I have a strong responsibility to help prepare them when they leave my home and my watch.

My daughters will not always have their daddy there to keep them safe or look after their little hearts. And one day, they will need to be ready to face this world and all the good and bad in it. And so, my job, to prepare them now, is extremely important for their future.

What the World Will Tell Them

What I am about to write is the tip of the iceberg. After many conversations with my wife and hearing speakers and reading books, I know there will be significant cultural and relational forces pushing against them. And I do not take it lightly. But I know the world will tell them lies about who they are and their self worth.

1️⃣ You Are Not Enough

“You are not thin enough. Or pretty enough. You are not smart enough. Or beautiful enough.” The world will tell her she is less than. Am I over-exagerating? Not at all. Advertising plays on these lies. They tell my wife she is less than in order to get her to buy into whatever is being sold.

And my daughters will run into this. They will see the advertisements. Experience this in the work place and on the streets. While our culture may be evolving, it is a slow ship to turn. And I want them to know they are enough. And this is part of my job.

2️⃣ You Are Not Equal to Men

Over the last year I have been having coffee with a pastor at church. And our conversation have always come back to equality in race and gender. What I have found is how much our culture continues to tell our women they are not equal to men.

Yes things are changing, but women still don’t have equal pay. And there still hasn’t been a female President. We are seeing great strides in female leadership of major companies, but men still act as though these are unsusal.

3️⃣ You Cannot Be Assertive

If a man is assertive and aggressive he is shrewd and strong. If a woman is assertive or aggressive she is a b*tch. I do not use this word lightly. But it is true. I see this at my job and in the news. We do not accept women with strong characteristics.

My youngest daughter is assertive and I want to help her grow into this well. Not to be overly so and to step into a dominance role beating everyone up, but to use it well, like men should and can. It is not true that women cannot be assertive.

4️⃣ You Need to Use Your Body

While looking for a good picture for this post, I typed in ‘girl’ into the search. And you know what comes up? A lot of scantily clad women. While it is their choice to pose for photos showing off their body, I don’t want my daughters feeling they need to use their body to get what they want.

Or they don’t need to use their body to feel secure in a relationship. So many, boys who are parading around as men, do this to women in dating relationships. You need to put out if you want me to stick around. I want my daughters to know they don’t need to do this and that those jokers aren’t worth keeping around.

5️⃣ You Can Do Some Jobs, but Not Others

We were at a dinner party once and my daughter came over to the group of men I was talking with and one of them asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. She gave a few answers:

“I want to be a baby doctor, or maybe a teacher, or maybe a pastor,” she said with a grin.

And then, the host says, “Well, I think you better stick with being a teacher.” The foolishness to say this in front of me. I made sure he understood that my daughter can do whatever job she desires and I will help her get there.

We have been invited back since. I am OK with it. Don’t limit my daughter based on your biases.

My Job As A Father: Speak Truth into My Daughters

My job as a father to my daughters is to speak truth into their lives. They will know they are loved by me. I will work hard to show them they have unmeasurable worth. They will know they can be assertive and strive for all the advantages I have as a man.

I tell them I love them. And when they tell me they want to do something when they grow up we talk about how to get there. I tell them how special their bodies are and not to let anyone tell them otherwise.

Ultimately, we identify lies they here now, and I speak truth over them. And when others try to speak those lies over them, I stand between them and those lies.

One day, they will leave my home. It is inevidable. And my hopes and dreams will go out into the world. My work now is to set the foundations of who my daughters will be and how they will relate to others. And how they will be able to stand tall in the world.

For the dads out there, how do you prepare your daughters? For the women who are daughters, mothers, sisters, and friends, how have you seen dads speak truth into your life or the lives of their daughters. Share in the responses below.