Why People on Dating Apps Are THE WORST

The principle of the dating app sounds good, but in practice they are awful meat markets. Wild places full of predators and prey.

People keep signing up for online dating, because they’ll do anything to find ‘The One’, but these apps allow people to be hyper selective about prospective partners and invite people to be super critical about their choices.

These apps create the illusion that we have choice when it comes to our options. It stops people putting in real effort because at the first sign of trouble or the hint of a Red Flag a person can simply move on to the next ‘match’.

It is very easy to manipulate yourself through these apps. There are many fake accounts, scam accounts, throwaway accounts — many men view Dating Apps as an easy way to get notches on their bedpost, they can cheat on their partner without much leg work. All they have to do is sit on their phone and pick someone out like ordering off a menu.

If they are polite and attentive, any woman waiting to match with a guy who seems honest will be at their mercy.

Many men and women have fallen victim to scammers and con artists after meeting someone on a dating app. There’s usually a tale of how they are currently working abroad, but usually live or are planning to move to the town where they’re listed. But oh no, there’s a problem they don’t have any money, even though they really really want to come visit they can’t.

People have been conned into giving away their life savings, so don’t get caught out and protect your friends and family by sharing stories about this, because it’s easy to get sucked into a con.

I’ve heard accounts from Men and Women about how fed up they are with online dating. You see there’s a major flaw, that cannot be fixed by a tweak in the algorithm. Men and Women are different.

Men fall in love with what they see and Women fall in love with what they hear.

This is why Men prefer watching porn and Women prefer reading it.

Women will allow their imaginations to fill in any gaps and as long as someone ‘seems’ to be nice they will overlook any red flags.

Men on the other hand, become blinded by someone’s good looks. They will choose women based on what they think is attractive and then get to know them.

It’s not to say that women are not attracted to good looks, because they are. Looks are important, but women also want a deeper connection. They don’t choose someone solely on looks and if they do, that’s a red flag.

When you reduce a human connection to a mere photograph and age, how can we create genuine relationships. People start to believe that there are so many others out there worth holding out for that they don’t find meaningful connections with those actual options.

I know one person who got married after meeting someone via a dating app. But because I know him well, I was witness to his selections process and it wasn’t pretty.

Basically, he went online because he wanted a new relationship. So his intention was to meet someone to marry.

His wife had recently passed away unexpectedly and he was left with three children to raise. He wanted to get married and quickly because he needed childcare and he needed the aid of a second household income.

After scrolling and scrolling he selected someone he felt was suitable. She couldn’t have her own children, but also she claimed she didn’t want any anyway.

She was blonde, skinny and had her own business.

Bingo! That’s the woman for him.

He married her within the year. Because she didn’t want children, he left his kids in the care of his mother-in-law. He wasn’t really interested in being a father and this lady provided him with a perfect solution. She became part of his reasoning as to why he couldn’t take custody of his children. He also loved all of the attention he got by being a widower.

I have no idea if he felt love for this new woman. But time will tell.

Now this might seem like an extreme case. But I have another one for you.

A lady started talking to a guy via a dating app. He said he was in the process of getting a divorce, only his wife didn’t know that.

Was he using dating apps to cheat on his wife or was he using them to find his next wife?

If you want good ole fashioned dating, you won’t find it on an app.

People that use them, whether they start out meaning to or not, treat them like a catalogue. Scroll past, scroll past, scroll… wait, n’ah not for me, next, next. If they start out with good intentions, they quickly become jaded and exhausted.

Psychologist Sadia Khan believes one of the reasons people stayed in relationships in the past, was their lack of options. If a person thinks that they have more options then they don’t care about what they have. When you know that your options are limited, you value what you have more and you work hard to keep what you have.

She explains; ‘If I have lots of cars, I won’t care about one because I have so many. I’ll let food go mouldy in the fridge because I have so much of it. I have too much choice about what to eat.’

It’s true. We start to think that our current situation doesn’t matter because we’ll just get another one. Probably a better one.

Throwaway Culture — that’s what it is. Plastic, temporary and disposable. Save your money, stay off dating apps.

Learn to make real connections. Learn how to grow them.

Thanks for reading. Take Care x