Why Parents Need to Let Their Kids Be Bored

Constant mental stimulation from screens is dulling their creativity and self-discovery

I was getting more and more irritated. The kid was sitting at the edge of a beautiful stream with perfect skipping rocks scattered around him. A few ducks were waddling into the water from the opposite bank. I saw a frog jump into the water. I smiled and remembered how my brother and I would catch frogs and devise ingenious traps for fish when we were younger. Then I looked at the kid again. Sitting on a rock…still playing Candy Crush. I frowned.

It wasn’t my kid so I told myself to just ignore it and I did, but I couldn’t figure out why I was so irritated. Then I realized it was more of sadness for that kid than anger. The screen was robbing him of opportunities to be with nature and be with himself. To learn how to skip a rock. To watch how a baby duck stays close to its mother. To catch a frog and look at him closely and see his tiny heartbeat before you let him go.

“Stop with the constant screens for God’s sake! Holy crap” is often what goes through my mind when I see this.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s a time for killing boredom with screens. Believe me, I know this. It can be a lifesaver. Especially during COVID lockdown.

It’s just that screens are great…until they’re not.

And cutting them off before they’re not is key.

We must make time for our kids to be unstimulated by constant distractions.

Not finding this balance is damaging our kid’s creativity and robbing them of something special, those more meaningful life experiences when memories are made.

So how exactly does allowing time for just being bored help them?

It Increases Their Creativity

If their brains aren’t overstuffed with mental stimulation, they have room for creativity to grow.

One study on how boredom increases creativity attempted to bore 1/2 of the participants by making them copy pages from a phone book. The other half didn’t have to do this boring task. When the “bored” group moved on to another activity, evidence of creative thinking was significantly greater than that of the not-as-bored control group.

The boring, menial, task let the logical productive side of their brains relax which allowed the creative parts of their mind to engage.

Boredom is the mother of everything cool I created and imagined growing up.

Boredom spurred actions that are now my best memories.

Just watch what happens when screens are taken from kids. Their creativity starts to come alive again after the initial withdrawal symptoms and whining subside.

The things they’ll create, experience, and remember with joy someday only happen when the screens are off.

So, shut down the screen sometimes. We shouldn’t get rid of screens, nor should we want too, but making some time for boredom invites creativity into the mind.

It Allows Them to Build a Relationship with Self

The sea of wonder in their minds is as vast as anything that happens outside of it. Once they learn to tap into that internal place of comfort, of exploration, of wonder, they’ll want to go back again and again.

We have to teach our kids to be comfortable with only themselves. No distractions. Then they can learn about themselves and even learn to love being alone with their own mind.

The best way to promote this comfort in their own skin is to allow them to be bored.

Their ego and their mind will then meet and become lifelong friends.

Once they do this, they’ll always have a wonderful place to go when they get bored, into their own minds.

But if they aren’t allowed to ever develop this independence from distraction, they’ll be the ones who can never be without a phone to gaze into at all times.

And they’ll be robbed of all the beauty around them.

So How do you Create Boredom?

Take away the screens for a while. Insist on it through the whining, reasoning, and other withdrawal symptoms.

Also, take away the spoonfed games that don’t require thought for a while.

Let them play a thinking game. Let them read a book. Send them outside with NO plans other than to not come inside until after 2 hours.

After the initial withdrawal discomfort subsides, you’ll be amazed at what they come up with.

And so will they.

And you’ll both be glad you’ve allowed boredom to be a part of their lives.