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Abstract

p id="db15">For example, my husband put a stop to my way of trying to get our son to eat his meals and stop being fussy because it just wasn’t working. After a certain period of time of him implementing his own way of doing things, which was firmer and stricter than I would’ve liked, I started to see some changes in my son and how he would sit down to eat the entire plate of food in front of him.</p><p id="21fa">Now, Andriel looks forward to sitting down next to his parents and mostly eats his entire plate, including the veg. My husband was right, and I was wrong — at least for a period of time (because no one knows the future and kids are unpredictable!)</p><p id="60fc"><b>But my husband didn’t say “I told you so”.</b> He didn’t discredit me as a mother, even if I did question my own decision making. He understood that being wrong is not a bad thing, and also, that <b>I wasn’t “wrong” to begin with</b>. Some things work, and some things don’t work for our children. And some things work for a while and then need to be changed. And that’s OK.</p><p id="4e9d">Parenting, while continuous, is flexible.</p><p id="ec93"><a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-successfully-wing-it-d39222a3d808">And we are all winging it.</a></p><h1 id="101b">Lowering Expectations Is Empowering</h1><p id="cde5">I have this constant need as the main caregiver to simply know what to do and get it right — especially after all the research I do on many aspects of parenting. But the thing is, it is only because of my own expectations that we get upset when things don’t work out. We paint a picture of how things will go, and when they don’t go our way, we self-criticise.</p><p id="3b33">Recently, I have been struggling to make the decision of whether to send our son to daycare. Because of the recent lockdowns, I feared that he wasn’t getting enough social stimulation and he needed to spend more time with other children. We decided to send him to a local nursery two mornings a week.</p><p id="fec8">But that wasn’t my only reason for wanting to send him there. I also needed more time to really step up my game as a writer, begin marketing myself and really work on my book.</p><p id="fa4a">But I’m tired of questioning myself, and <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-get-what-you-want-1973fd008ecb">since taking the road to self-care</a> in order to be a better mother and person, I decided that my reasons were as good as any to send Andriel to daycare at the age of 27 months.</p><p id="d466">It has only been a few weeks, and so far, he does not look forward to going there. I feel in fact he has become shier and clingier than usual. This makes me question once again whether what I am doing is right, and whether the caregivers at the centre are doing right by my son.</p><p id="93a8"><b>I’m ready to assign blame and judge because this is what we do as people growing up in today’s society.</b></p><div id="5778" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/learning-to-enjoy-motherhood-guilt-free-966e7fa38d58"> <div> <div> <h2>Learning To Enjoy Motherhood Guilt-Free</h2> <div><h3>undefined</h3></div> <div><p>undefined</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*o44YftcYVXjSo_va)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="d0f8">But I have to remember that it will solve nothing. I need to readjust my expectations and remind myself that everything takes time and that obstacles are all part of the journey, including my son’s settling in time at daycare.</p><p id="1231">He will get there because he is a strong and sociable little boy. He will be fine because he will still have an abundance of love at home waiting for him when he gets back and throughout the rest of the week. But I cannot decide how and when he will be running happily into nursery in the mornings — that’s a picture I need to let go of, but treasure if it happens.</p><p id="b15a">Sometimes, it

Options

is our expectations that need change, not our circumstances. We have to be OK with hiccups in parenting. Rather, we need not see them as hiccups, but as part of the process of bringing up children. After all, we are only human.</p><h1 id="7806">Takeaway</h1><figure id="facf"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*0ZLtDIAU40LQtOeo"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@drezart?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Andrae Ricketts</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="f3a0">I believe in a mother’s instinct, but I don’t believe in the expectation that it will be there when we need it. If that expectation isn’t met then we will be more than ready to assign blame, and it won’t help us grow as parents or as individuals. In fact, I think that the constant need to meet these expectations is what causes us to feel like a failure at some point in our lives.</p><p id="b5d4">Instead, I recommend a more supportive plan, where advice can be handed out without coming across as all-knowing and dismissive of the parent. We can learn not to feel offended at others’ suggestions in the same way that others can learn not to be judgemental. I advise that others do get involved in taking care of kids, in a non-judgemental “I-told-you-so” way when the main interest is that of the child — not of themselves.</p><p id="1680">Most importantly, we have to learn that <b>mistakes are normal</b>, and most of the time, they’re not life-threatening. We are all human after all, and that makes us susceptible to countless errors over the course of time. In modern parenting, most parents are learning not to scold their kids when they make mistakes because it’s detrimental to their confidence building. <i>We should take that same approach with ourselves and other adults.</i></p><p id="93d5">So, let’s cut ourselves a little slack, and lower that pressure to get it right. Nobody is born a parent with experience.</p><div id="2a67" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/redefining-the-concept-of-happiness-16e5524c2b2d"> <div> <div> <h2>Redefining the Concept of Happiness</h2> <div><h3>How I’m learning about fulfilment from my toddler son.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*6xDaJcMnjn9r6Bow)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="88c4" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-battle-with-anger-as-a-parent-24e7837c5fac"> <div> <div> <h2>My Battle With Anger As a Parent</h2> <div><h3>Ensuring our son feels loved regardless of our feelings.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Me4slkvdZGGCbsbjqQ_7bg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="c95b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-husband-is-a-damn-good-father-de20d1ef2217"> <div> <div> <h2>My Husband Is A Damn Good Father</h2> <div><h3>And he deserves praise.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Oqw-YSI_IVOLn-k0)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="7dcc"><b><i>Sylvia Emokpae, thinker and philosopher, is passionate about self-love, relationships, and motherhood. <a href="https://medium.com/@sylviaemokpae">See more work like this</a>.</i></b></p><p id="f728"><a href="https://twitter.com/SylviaEmokpae"><b>Follow her</b></a><b> on Twitter.</b></p></article></body>

Why Our Lives Are Empty and Shallow, And What to Do About It.

Mainstream media has trained us not to care about ethics or values.

Lessons from an email conversation:

EMAIL FROM CHARLIE:

Hi David, Another great and true article, about the corrupt Media, both sides not telling the truth and looking for profits gained by attracting viewers which ups their profit by selling advertising. This is, over time, what the Politico’s have done to destroy the United States of America, which is now the Corporate States of America. All this is due to their continual break-down of laws that were put in place purposefully so that this would not happen, and the people would be protected.

The changing of the crossover laws for newspapers, television, and radio has all been altered for various reasons of profitability. In the case of newspapers, with shrinking readership there are fewer newspapers, and therefore fewer points of view. Now, conglomerates can acquire all three types of media, limiting the broad diversity and the competitive markets they were initially set up for. Also, many radio stations were required by law to give all points of view due to the lack of frequencies, limiting the amount of stations in a particular area.

T.V. stations are worse because they dominate the 25 marketplaces and are all syndicated threw large conglomerates. It is yet to be seen if politicians (corrupt) as they would have the balls to have the big tech companies break up their monopolies or at least have them serve the public justly with both sides of all stories. As usual, your articles get me juiced up. See you soon—Blessings, Charlie.

Propaganda, Liberals, and the Terrible Two’s

MY RESPONSE TO CHARLIE:

Yes true! Nowadays, most seem to believe appropriate boundaries are a personal insult and see legitimate authority as “bad.” I think those to whom I speak mistakenly think there are no limits to freedom and seem angered when someone says enough is enough. They believe they are being judged when, in fact, someone is just saying “No!” Without the ability to accept a denial to their request, they are ready to fight, kick, and scream; call the person answering “no” a bigot, a Trump supporter, a racist, and say that anyone who agrees with that person is part of a cult, etc.

We have never judged. They felt they were judged because their leaders told them they were. Half the country devolved back to the terrible two’s!!!

Thanks for your thoughtfulness; however — truth is we are all lied to by corrupt leaders controlling their media, which was the point of my original email. They are the ones who must bear the responsibility.

What if there was a Clinton Propaganda Machine (CPM) which began shortly after she called half the country deplorable? It seems likely, though I have no proof. Maybe both parties have one in place. Perhaps past politicians who set up global initiatives with the overt purpose to help the world are really just using their resources to spread harm against the other side and keep their friends in power (and thus, themselves in power by proxy).

They could hire an infinite number of writers who do nothing all day but create memes and write childish posts, spreading gossip and untruths to confuse the issues. These entities would also give loads of likes to supportive posts, while denigrating those who write alternating or fair and balanced articles or posts. I know many writers who feel such has happened to them, and that they were censored and “attacked” with negative comments for their points-of-view which went against liberal folly.

Wherever you look on the social, you find great multitudes of liberal insanity, and entitlement nonsense, and it is professionally prepared. Must cost loads of money to keep that fresh. Could all this be true? If so, this will just weaken the fabric of humanity, and that would explain how their Disinformation Campaign has ruined Democracy. They must think this is just fine.

What if Hillary Clinton were fined for starting the Russian Collusion hoax? Do you think their news outlets of choice would/should report this to their audiences?? I don’t think they have, but see below:

Federal campaign watchdog fines DNC, Clinton campaign over dossier spending disclosure

The FEC conciliation agreements were made public Wednesday after the Coolidge Reagan Foundation first shared a response…

www.politico.com

Do Dem supporters not know this? Wouldn’t you say that a responsible, fair and balanced, unbiased journalism would report that to them? To me, this is proof that here in America, we no longer have that. Doesn’t that scare you? It scares the hell out of me! You are correct — all of our major news outlets have been taken over by big tech and big corporations. They have their own agendas, which have nothing to do with what’s in our best interests or America’s.

They keep them so focused on hating and trying to imprison Trump, that Dem constituents don’t even see what is right in front of them — how terribly their leaders are doing right now in terms of just about every issue. Could this be due to one woman’s revenge against all men, who she seems to believe continually hurt her? Or is the entire party bent on keeping power at all costs? You know what they say about a woman scorned ….

(History is replete with how an enraged person/party of power becomes ravenous and completely changes the course of a nation and the world, sometimes for the good, but many times for the much worse.)

It would seem apparent that half or more of everything most believe nowadays is a total hoax and the other half is somewhat a fabrication bordering on a lie. A shame that they just could not find a way to forgive the other side their perceived trespasses and then find a way and means to work together. See you soon, Charlie, and all the best for now — David.

So, what to make of this?

We are so busy trying to prove to ourselves that it is important to listen to what Mainstream Media has to say, that we have forgotten how much power we have given them over our thoughts and beliefs. This is an unbridled time, and without giving ourselves the conscious permission necessary to disavow what reporters and news channels are telling us, we have become like preprogrammed robots.

By supporting our media, even just watching them, we are allowing ourselves to be brainwashed and invariably losing our guiding principles, and so we must stop!

To quote a 1960s television series robot about the future which we are now living within: Danger, Will Robinson … danger!

After responding to Charlie, I sat down and thought about things a bit more.

Please listen and believe me when I tell you we are all on the wrong side of history right now. We have no leadership. We have squirrels scurrying to hide the fact that they have dismantled the bird feeder in order to grab each and every little seed and stuff it in their greedy and overstuffed cheeks. Sure, this has always been the way.

However, now there are no checks and balances. Each and every aspect of government, along with its agencies that we used to trust to oversee such ravenous behavior, has climbed on board and are likewise compromised. Who put them in power? Which administration recently had eight full years to seed the feeder behind the scenes? It seems to me this became noticeable just as Trump was ready to take office. Nobody followed rules of law any longer, and they did not even care — they held trials (and still are) without due notice, discovery, or the other side’s testimony.

Even without Chinese influences, technology itself has been driving us away from our principles, our religion, and our basic humanity. Because it was never convenient for big tech to adhere to strong values in order for them to grow so powerful, they have deluded all of us.

They have been tempting our citizens to take a bite out of the Apple — just take a close look at the symbol of one of their major players. Social Media takes money no matter from whom it comes or what their intentions, so long as it is a lot, and it keeps them on top. That is their only guiding principle. Let us stop their madness!!! It has risen to the level of moral imperative.

So, what should we do?

This article is really about saving the world by trying to save one soul at a time. I was a Democrat for the first forty-five years of my life. I finally saw what they were doing. Furthermore, I tallied the most revealing equation of them all, something nobody had ever told me about directly and which I feel my duty as a citizen to reveal:

Democrat = Liberal = Leaders who are compelled to please constituents at all costs, with no regard for rules governing behavior and no belief in God due to His strict policies. Mainstream Media has climbed on board.

Republican = Conservative = Come to believe we are all sinners, and yet we can be justified to deserve redemption by having faith in God and by affirming belief in His principles and His power. From where our inherent values and guiding principles now derive.

Democratic Party leaders no longer have any guiding fundamental principles; but most importantly of all, they have no God behind them due to their rage and their angst, along with their need for retribution which has risen to the level of retaliation well above and beyond, denying the importance of forgiveness.

Those of their leaders who say they are religious have used and manipulated their religion, have fostered violent protests, and continue to bash and weaken faith’s influences in order to deliver their message of promise in lieu of principles. One cannot go halfway with God — either you follow Him or you do not.

My message is about communication, pure and simple. Communication is a two-way endeavor. One transmits a message and the other party listens. We cannot afford to listen any longer to what they are dishing out.

Thank you for reading and for your time, which I know is valuable. If you enjoyed this, please share and applaud (up to 50 times!). Also, please follow me to see more of my new articles and stories.

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These thoughts derived from my last article on communication, below:

Like the Grays Parts One and Two — (Click here for Part Two — Practical Aspects about How to Start the Trend). It was my hope that by using the techniques I had outlined in Like the Grays series (Part One here) we can strengthen our brain’s ability to communicate non-verbally, and we can thus advance our species. There will be no need for media’s divisive and reckless abandonment of principles, since we won’t need them in our lives.

Our lives will be fulfilled with interactions with those in our circles.