Why no habit will work unless you reflect on it (and 10 ways to make it work)

I know a lot about habits.

I have done numerous blog posts, video courses and workshops on establishing the right habits that will push you forward in life.

A big part of my knowledge definitely comes from the awesome website of James Clear.

And among all those hilarious tips I guess I found out what the real essence of creating powerful habits is.

✔️ It’s about relevance.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. — Aristotle

Accounting to researchers of the Duke University our habits make up to 40% of our everyday lives and ensure that we do not have to think about every single thing that we do throughout our days.

Through habits, we can make sure to accomplish daily tasks despite loads of information. This excessive amount of information is on the other hand also the reason why building new habits is so hard — because we get distracted all the time.

✔️Habits can help us to save time and energy thus making space for new things.

However, nowadays we can see a huge trend towards the topic of habits.

All sorts of high-performance habits are being praised strongly. May it be from successful authors and business people like Brendon Buchard and Tim Ferris or from any kind of health and self-care guru who preaches to do your daily meditation, take your supplements and whatsoever.

Indeed, it is great to get an insight into the habits and lives of ‘’the most successful’’.

However, I have come to the conclusion, that even the best habit probably won’t make sense if it is not relevant to you. 

As stated above, habits should make our lives easier.

Habits should make space to be able to concentrate on creative work and important decisions.

So how should a general ‘’good habit’’ fit for you?

In fact, no person is similar to another. And while there are of course some kind of habits that would not harm any of us, like doing sports, I guess the most underrated aspect in creating new habits is to properly decide on them.

I guess that due to that fact that the implementation of habits takes energy, instead of trying to implement as many of those highly praised habits as possible, we should take time to make better decisions on habits.

What are those key factors that will really enrich my life and make it easier?

For instance, I have set myself the goal to read 52 books in 2018. And I am pretty much in time, having read about one book per week, but I have definitely read too many bad books as well. For the sake of reading and sticking to my habit.

Instead of stubbornly sticking to that habit, I might have been better off by educating myself differently and reading few but great books.

New habits can feel quite weird at the beginning but when knowing what the goal behind it is and knowing how to really implement them sustainably process can be made easily.

So the goal is to build habits that support our big visions and goals — but how does one start and what measures need to be taken?

First, we have to understand what is behind habits. In fact, every habit is kind of an addiction. We get addicted to the rewards that we get or feel afterward. It is the same with good as well as bad habits. The reward can also be to simply feel good because of the accomplishment. Those rewards activate the desire to repeat the action.

The danger at that point is to be careful to pick habits that support your life in the long term and not to choose those which give you a short pleasure because of being accomplished.

✔️3R’s of habit change

The whole process of building and maintaining each habit relates to a principle called the 3R’s of habit change.

The 3R’s are Reminder — Routine — Reward.

Every good or bad habit relates to those three principles. There is always something reminding us to take action. This might be a phone call to be answered or just some kind of feeling that triggers the routine. Every habit comes with a reward — this might be physical or just a feeling that we want to have repeatedly.

✔️Dream big — start small

It is proven, that big visions and dreams can empower our motivation and lead to more action. A big vision leads to intrinsic motivation, which again ends up in habits that really stick!

When building habits you should always have the big picture, your vision in mind and work on small implementations into your everyday life. Focus on the minimum amount of work that you have to accomplish each and every day to come closer to your goals. The key is that big goals become achievable through small actions that are taken every day!

Start with habits that are so small that you can’t even say no and gradually improve in small steps. Imagine adding up 1% at a time — you will see extreme improvements very fast!

✔️Behavior Chains

We already have tons of habits that we repeat each day without even realizing it. Through so-called behavior chains we can schedule new habits around established ones to make sure that we do not forget or skip them. The ‘’old habit’’ is, therefore, our reminder for the one. It is a so-called ‘’ if — then ‘’ planning. So you might tell yourself every time after brushing your teeth you do 10 minutes of stretching. We simply take a regular part of our schedule and build new habits around these established triggers.

✔️Getting back on track

The best way to improve your self-control and getting now why you slipped your habit is to make sure to know how and why you loosed control. Missing your habit once does not have a big impact on your long-term progress. Even professionals slip but what is important is that they get back on track as fast as possible. Get away from that all-or-nothing mentality and always get back on track. You need to be consistent — not perfect!

✔️Preparation and Repetition are Key

Do you know some of those people who seem like they have all the talent and are doing well in everything they try? Most of the time, we are jealous of those people but nobody ever considers the hard work behind great work. No matter what kind of field or work, you will always fare better with preparation than without. When you know that you have put hours of preparation into a presentation, you will perform better because you have the confidence to do so. There is a beautiful saying, “We have a strategic plan. It is called doing things!”

While preparation is key to success, make sure not to get overwhelmed by it. Most people spend lots of time on preparation without ever executing — do not be like most people! Prepare well and execute hard.

✔️Embrace Challenges

Success is all about embracing challenges and new opportunities. If you do not take chances because you do not feel ready, you will never succeed. The most successful people are those who take on challenges and try to do their best.

✔️Be realistic and start small

Although I am a fan of pushing myself towards big goals and wanting to achieve the most when it comes to habits and daily goals it makes sense to stay realistic. If you can’t stick to your intention on a regular basis you will not see big changes and results. Unrealistic expectations might ruin motivation and lead to dropping the habit completely. When talking about realistic intentions the key is also to start small. Most of the time people get motivated and believe that suddenly they can change the(ir) world. In most cases, this is not true. Our lives are based on patterns and systems. Whenever we want to make radical changes we will face forces that try to push things to normality. Thus starting with small steps and continuously increasing is much more promising. Imagine starting your habit of daily reading with 10 minutes per day — this is absolutely doable for everyone, no excuses. This is such a small amount of time that it is a shame not to do it and stick to it. Once you stick to it start increasing. Imagine increasing by 1% per day. Might not sound like a lot but soon it will be a huge difference. You can increase up to the level that is possible for you and will thus reach your potential.

✔️Be clear and plan ahead

This is probably the tip that helped me most to establish great habits. When planning ahead and being clear about what you want to achieve, how you will do it when you will do it and so on, you have a much higher chance of actually completing your task. By being clear I mean questioning your intention. Eating healthy is not clear. That might mean eating all that you ate so far and adding 2 pieces of fruit per day. It might mean reducing the number of meals and much much more. If you don’t have a plan of what you want to do, you can’t do it. Be clear about what you want and how you can get it.

✔️Keep track

Keeping track of my progress is what keeps me going. I love tracking at all — I track my time, my money, the number of books I read, the amount of sport I do and much more. This helps me to stay focused and take control over my life. If I don’t see my progress black on white I struggle to get motivated and keep going. Whereas seeing how far I have come pushes me to continue. For reading books and doing sports I have two sheets of paper which I have put right in front of my bed. Those sheets show the number of books/ times of sport I want to accomplish per year. Each time I finish one of those I can cross out a square. This pushes me to do more. Every time after a run or the gym I feel even more awesome when I can cross that square and see my progress on my yearly goal.

✔️Partner up and encourage

There are many studies that found out that the percentage of goal achievement rises the most if we share our goals with other people. By updating them regarding our process we can reach the highest rate of goal achievement. By sharing our intentions we oblige ourselves even more. If getting asked we want to report process so we stick harder to our habits. On the other side, a so-called accountability buddy who also shares intentions with you might motivate you as well. Not necessarily in means of competition but through the positive encouragement of each other. Habits help us to master our everyday life and to save time and valuable energy. Thus by creating meaningful habits, we can ensure to make space for further new things in our lives. Make sure to find out what your big goals are and how to reach them by forming everyday habits into your daily routines.

Bottom Line

My true intention with this article was to empower to think more about where to put our energy in.

High-performance habits are increasingly gaining reputation.

But maybe you don’t need all of those habits to reach your goals and be happy.

Be patient and take time to reflect on what might really support the life that you are working towards.

But once you found out what habits you want to implement, make use of my top 10 learnings:

✔️Understand the 3R’s of habit change and make use of it

✔️Dream big — start small

✔️Build Behavior Chains

✔️When you slip, make sure to Get back on track asap

✔️Preparation and Repetition are Key

✔️Embrace Challenges

✔️Be realistic and start small

✔️Be clear and plan ahead

✔️Keep track

✔️Partner up and encourage