Why Negative Thinking is the Worst Form of Self-Sabotage
When your thoughts are unwelcome visitors, how do you get them to leave?
There’s a game going on in my brain, and right now, I’m on my way to a crushing defeat. It’s my self-esteem versus my inner voice, and my inner voice is a bitch. She’s ruthless and she doesn’t play fair. And before I even hop on the playing field to work towards my dreams, she’s convinced me I need to save my time and forfeit the game. Her secret? She gets into my head and whispers wickedly:
- “You’re a loser”
- “Who are you to think you can (fill in the blank)”
- “Why waste your energy on something you know you can’t achieve?”
- “You’re stupid to think you can be a success like (fill in the blank)”
- “You just don’t have have it takes”
Maybe you’ve also found yourself fighting the enemy of negative self-talk. Day after day you tell yourself things such as there’s no way you can lose the weight, find true love, get the promotion, or accomplish your goals. And as long as you continue you to believe these things, you will fail. Why? Because this internal dialogue is the most horrible form of self-sabotage.
How Negative Thinking Lessens Your Chances of Success
The truth about the consequences of negative thinking lies in brain science. The article “How Does Positive Thinking Affect Neuroplasticity” discusses the fact that a continuous cycle of negative thinking impacts the brain. It states that “the more you focus on negativity, the more synapses and neurons your brain will create [to support] your negative thought process.” In other words, the more you think self-sabotaging thoughts, the more your brain believes them. This is why the longer you wait to eliminate this pattern of thinking, the harder it will be to think positively.
The article also goes on to state the repercussions of this type of thinking, explaining that negativity hinders your ability to problem solve, be creative, and control your impulses. Now just take a minute to think about the effects of these diminished abilities as they relate to your chances of success. Without the ability to problem solve, your mind cannot come up with solutions essential to positive growth. Without creativity, your mind cannot be innovative or see new possibilities that may propel your forward movement towards achieving your aspirations. Without impulse control, your ability to persevere and “get the work done” decreases. And all it takes is one of these byproducts of negativity to destroy your chances of attaining your ambitions, so when you’re facing all three, it’s almost impossible to get where you want in life.
How to Stop Negative Thoughts
Start small
You can’t undo a lifetime of beating yourself up in one day. It’s a gradual process that involves taking small steps to reduce negative thoughts and stop them when they start to emerge. Here are a few simple strategies you may want to try.
Use positive affirmations
Simple statements verbalized or read and re-read daily allow us to build what Positive Psychology defines as “a global narrative about ourselves.” In other words, we begin to see ourselves in a more three-dimensional way. We begin to believe we are worthy of success and we are capable and resilient enough to do what needs to be done to attain it.
If affirmations are unfamiliar to you, Thrive Global has a list of fifty of these statements to look at and choose from to bolster your self-esteem. And you don’t have to look in the mirror and say them to yourself. You can put them in places where you will see them every day: on your refrigerator, on the sides of your work and home computer, or inside of the book you read every night.
Read empowering books
While many people say that affirmations have given them the power to stifle negative thoughts, I personally find the best way for me to overcome them them is through books that make me feel empowered. I spend a few minutes reading the pages of these books as I sip my morning coffee or before I tackle a challenging activity. The words I read often fill me with courage, putting me in the right mindset for undertaking the my goals instead of wallowing in self-doubt and inaction.
I personally love the motivational books of Zig Ziglar, but there are tons of books out there that will provide you with actionable steps, inspirational examples, and positivity boosters.
An article in Entrepreneur entitled “8 Self-Empowerment Books to Help You Take Back 2020,” provides a list of books that many people have found greatly empowering. Take a look at their recommendations and see which ones speak to you. And if you don’t feel like you have time to do a lot of reading, buy an audio version and listen as you drive to work, exercise, or do household tasks.
Identify the things that generate negative thinking and work to eliminate their them
I love to read success stories about other people’s goals, but when I read about people who have reached mastery in areas I am trying to excel in, the defeatist dialogue starts. The more I read about their triumphs, the more I see myself as inadequate.
For many of us, social media is the impetus for this destructive spiral. For others, it may be time spent around people who flaunt their success and subtly attempt to belittle us.
However, only you know the triggers that push you down the rabbit hole, so sit and think about the circumstances and people who make you doubt your self-worth. Make a list and then brainstorm ways to eliminate these things or lessen their impact. And yes, I’m aware that oftentimes you simply cannot avoid certain individuals or situations. So what should you do? Formulate a plan on how to deal with these negative influences when they present themselves.
Stop negative thoughts by doing activities that enhance your feelings of power and capability
Psycom’s article entitled “How to Hit the Delete Button on Negative Thoughts” says to imagine a stop sign in your mind when poisonous thoughts rise to the surface They cite psychiatrist Grant H. Brenner who says that “switching to another task where you can get absorbed in something more efficacious helps build self-esteem and give you a realistic positive reappraisal.”
This is why many people do something as simple as housecleaning to clear out negative thoughts. It’s something mindless and easy that allows us to feel a sense of achievement. Other people’s “positivity factor” may be a half hour of exercise or completing a task in which they feel highly skilled. The point is when we do these things, we begin to feel more mentally ready to face challenging situations with positivity.
The Bottom Line:
Author Charles F. Glassman gives wise words when he says that “the road of negative thinking gets dark, very fast. Turn around, quickly, before the light — your hope, vanishes.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of walking down shadowy alleyways. I want to bask in the light of which Glassman speaks. I want my inner spirit to fight for me, not against me. And if it means a little work in the process, I’m more than ready to start. I’m pretty sure you are too.