Summary

Millennials are increasingly choosing not to marry or to delay marriage, influenced by factors such as a desire for independence, poor role models, the high cost of raising children, the convenience of living together without commitment, technological addiction, a preference for life experiences over traditional family life, financial illiteracy, and a pursuit of personal fulfillment beyond marriage.

Abstract

The article "Why millennials are shying away from marriage" discusses the significant shift in millennial attitudes towards marriage compared to previous generations. It highlights that more than half of Millennials are unmarried or marrying later, a trend that is expected to continue with Generation Z. The reasons for this include a changing perception of long-term commitment, influenced by a culture of instant gratification and digital connectivity, which makes the idea of lifelong marriage less appealing. Many Millennials witnessed the emotional toll of divorce on their Boomer and Gen X parents, leading them to question the value of marriage. The high cost of child-rearing and the desire for a lifestyle focused on personal growth and adventure further contribute to their hesitance to marry and have children. Additionally, the rise of cohabitation, technology addiction, and financial challenges, such as student debt and lower financial literacy, play a role in their decisions regarding marriage.

Opinions

Millennials are skeptical about the traditional institution of marriage, partly due to witnessing high divorce rates among their parents.
The generation values instant gratification and flexibility, making long-term commitments like marriage seem restrictive.
The financial burden of raising children in today's world is a significant deterrent to marriage for Millennials.
Living together without the legal and social commitments of marriage is preferred by many Millennials.
Overuse of technology and smartphones has impacted Millennials' interpersonal skills, affecting their relationships and marriage prospects.
Highly educated Millennial women, who are more financially independent, often seek fulfillment beyond traditional roles associated with marriage and family.
Despite being well-educated, Millennials lack financial literacy, which contributes to their hesitance to enter into marriages while managing student loans and other debts.

Why millennials are shying away from marriage

More than half of Millennials are not married or marrying later in life.

A majority of Millennials are not currently married, marking a significant change from past generations. Only 44% of Millennials were married in 2019, compared with 53% of Gen Xers, 61% of Boomers and 81% of Silents at a comparable age.

This ‘No-to-marriage’ or cancel-marriage trend is here to stay and expected to worsen with Generation Z.

Who are Millennials?

Millennials, also called Generation Y, Generation Me, or Digital Natives, are those who were born between 1981–1996.

Why are Millennials turning down or delaying marriage?

1. Lifelong commitment simply doesn’t have the same appeal

“The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.” — H. L. Mencken

In its truest form marriage is a sacred union between two people in a committed, long-term relationship.

“Long-term Commitment” is a huge ask from millennials. In this age of instant gratification, globalization, digital connections, why tie yourself down to a long-term commitment?

Rapid technological disruptions have paved a generational mindset of wanting everything to be quick and easy. Something that marriage isn’t. Being rooted down, permanently, is simply not appealing. Most millennials lack the desire to own homes with 15- and 30-year mortgages, pay hefty monthly car installments, or own long-term assets when their immediate needs for basic shelter, food, and travel are instantly met by companies like Airbnb, Uber, and Door Dash.

These companies are catering to this generation, in a few clicks and within minutes, with no ownership strings attached. Millennials love this convenience.

Marriage to this generation is a lot to ask for, given their ever-changing desires and wanderlust, nomadic lifestyle.

2. They have poor examples in their parents

“Parents are the ultimate role models for children.” — Bob Keeshan

Most millennials grew up in broken or dysfunctional homes. With poor examples set by their divorced Boomer and Generation X parents, it’s hard for them to see marriage in a positive light. The emotional turmoil and family drama have scarred them for life.

Studies show in 1963, only 1.5% of couples had divorced before their fifth anniversary, 7.8% had divorced before their tenth, and 19% before their twentieth anniversary. By the time the millennial generation was born which is around mid-1990s, divorce rates among their parents had increased to 11%, 25%, and 38%, respectively.

If their parents failed to sustain a healthy marriage, can we blame the millennials for doubting the sacredness of this collapsing traditional institution?

3. Having kids is overrated

“My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.”- Unknown

Raising kids in today’s world is one word- EXPENSIVE and millennials are acutely aware. There is rarely a millennial that grew up without hearing this rant from their parents.

From expensive schools, colleges, extracurricular activities, exotic vacations, over-the-top birthday parties, electronic gadgets and branded everything. The list of expenses is endless.

Even if they can afford kids, most consider the process involved in raising little versions of themselves, time-consuming and difficult. They are smart enough to remember how they grew up with a sense of entitlement; they don’t want their prodigy to do the same to them.

Plus, the mundane task of raising kids doesn’t exactly fit the Millennial lifestyle of globetrotting, seeking eclectic life experiences, and pursuing dare devil adventures.

4. Why marry when you can live-in

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.” ― Katharine Hepburn

Instead of tying themselves to conventional contract marriage, most millennials prefer to live in with their romantic partner. Again, this stems from their mindset of non-committal cohabitation.

Live-in rates among millennials are higher than any previous generation for this age group.

Plus, most millennial parents bless this trend. Unlike the older generations, Boomers and Generation X parents are open-minded and supportive of the millennial's desire to live in instead of marrying their partners.

5. Addicted to technology, they have poor people skills

“I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” Albert Einstein

40% of millennials say they interact more with their smartphones than with people. This is disturbing, considering one of the greatest causes of depression and mental health problems is the failure to form positive relationships with friends and family.

Despite the plethora of online dating apps available to this generation, their technology addiction and abysmal people skills are impacting their love life and prospects for marriage.

6. Highly educated ones want more from life than marriage and kids

“I am not interested in searching for my other half because I’m not a half”― Unknown

This especially applies to millennial girls. More educated than their mothers and grandmothers, they envision a brighter future for themselves beyond the confines of the home and kitchen.

With an increasing number of women joining the workforce, they are less dependent on men for their financial needs. The power to earn gives them a choice to elect out of the traditional chains of married life.

7. Despite their education, Millennials are financially illiterate compared to the previous generations

“The handling of finances is one of the major emotional battlegrounds of any marriage. Lack of finances is seldom the issue. The root problem seems to be an unrealistic and immature view of money” — David Augsburger, The Meaning of Money in Marriage

Millennials grew up with plastic money — CREDIT CARDS. One swipe can buy it all.

The credit card culture is a challenge for this generation. While millennials are the most educated adult generation, they are less financially literate than older generations. Millennials often called digital natives, leverage fintech tools more than older working-age adults. Studies find that fintech tool usage is not a substitute for financial education and is often tied to poor money management. This, in part, explains the lower levels of millennial financial literacy.

Being in debt is not a good way to start a family or walk down the marriage aisle. The majority of this generation is still buckling under the pressure of student loans coupled with low-paying jobs that leave them in a financial doldrum.

This explains why most millennial that do opt for marriage, only do so much later in life.

Key Takeaways:

1. Marriage in its traditional form, is losing appeal for the newer generation

2. They seek more from life than marriage, owning assets, & making babies

3. Declining marriage rates & birth rates will continue into the future generations

For the millennials, wedding rings are the world’s smallest handcuffs. No thanks!