Why It’s So Good to Be An Introvert

From an introvert’s perspective

Hey, why are you so quiet? Why don’t you branch out? Are you thinking about something? Is something bothering you? If you are an introvert, you might have been able to relate to these questions.

The struggle of being an introvert is real. I was a bright kid in school and used to be in the good books of my teachers. Besides, I was pretty active in co-curricular activities. Drawing, singing, sports, you name it and watch me flaunting my trophies or sharing my most favorite memories regarding those activities.

While I was in school, busy with proving my caliber and achieving those tiny yet significant milestones, I was not familiar with what being an introvert meant. And I had never even realized that this word was going to be my identity someday.

In my early 20s, I used to get anxious when someone called me an ‘introvert’. The reason was quite simple: If I was not judging someone, then I expected the same from them. However, the people around me were always keen to give me this tag that somehow affected my self-esteem.

And, guess what? These comments started affecting the way I thought of myself. I started doubting my self-worth. I thought I was not good enough. I thought I had to be less quiet and more outgoing to get that validation from society. And sometimes, I wondered if talking was all I needed to fit in or leave a good impression on others.

As time passed by, I realized that nobody, but I, was going to take charge of appreciating my uniqueness. Even if it was about being quiet and being a deep thinker, I considered those as my core strengths.

I strived to empower myself by feeling comfortable in my own skin, and with the person I was. There were times when I considered it as a weakness to be an introvert. But then my best friend, who also happens to be a clinical psychologist, motivated me to get rid of this negativity, be proud of who I am, focus on living happy moments, and start enjoying my life.

It’s okay to be an introvert and be happy in your own space. It’s a pre-conceived notion that introverts are shy or don’t up at all. But hey, introverts are humans as well. We have emotions and we do love to open up about ourselves. However, there might not be as many people on our list to share our emotions with. But yes, we do talk with the ones with whom we feel the closest, or secure.

We are good listeners

Just imagine a gathering filled with all talkers and no listeners. Sounds overwhelming, right?

According to a study conducted in 2014, the essence of communication lied more in active listening in the hospital industry. Active listening is a form where the listener completely focuses on what the speaker is saying. They are not thinking about what they will say next once the speaker finishes, rather they display a genuine interest in their talk and don’t intend to interrupt in between the conversation.

“Because introverts are typically good listeners and, at least, have the appearance of calmness, we are attractive to emotionally needy people. Introverts, gratified that other people are initiating with them, can easily get caught in these exhausting and unsatisfying relationships.”― Adam S. McHugh

Introverts are good listeners and keen observers. We are not interested in being the center of attraction ‘all the time’ in a group or meeting. We take a backseat and let others speak their minds and have all the attention they want.

We let our work speak for ourselves

All these years, I have not been that open about sharing my dreams and life-goals with anybody and everybody. Yes, I do share them with my partner and my best friend, or someone who will keep reminding me of my passions and ambitions and motivate me to achieve them. I have always chosen to keep it low-key and let my achievements speak rather than mere words.

I guess most of us believe in creating things without giving any major shoutouts. We truly admire if someone appreciates our work or our achievements, but we won’t get over-enthusiastic about it. We’ll be grateful and get back to the job of transforming dreams into reality.

They are all ears when we speak

Yeah, I agree we are not that chatty, but when we have something important to say, we’ll make it a norm to share our thoughts without thinking twice. We preserve our energies for the right moment and utilize them at the right time.

“I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.” — Bob Newhart

When we speak, people are all focused on what we shall say. We bring value to the room with our insightful thoughts and perspectives. While talking, we don’t blabber around. We talk to the point and portray our message in a concise yet easy-to-understand tone.

We embrace solitude

“Your solitude will be a support and a home for you, even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, and from it you will find all your paths.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

Being a freelance writer, I found it easier to work by myself in that same space for many years. I knew that I was more productive and peaceful working in an individual setup. I coordinated effectively with my clients and teams via messages and calls and loved this experience throughout.

Even if I enjoyed working in my own space, I was keeping my social life in place. I still partied with my friends, did long chats and calls with my cousins, played with my late furry friend ‘Bruno’, and did everything to ensure that I was not just settling in my own comfort zone.

Solitude doesn’t scare us. Rather, we feel more creative and rejuvenating when we are alone. During these tough COVID-19 times, when WFH has become a new norm, we are not seeing it as a challenge. Instead, it has helped us be more productive and efficient at work.

We are comfortable with the idea of being alone and this helps us find more about our capabilities.

We value quality over quantity

“I’m very picky with whom I give my energy to. I prefer to reserve my time, intensity and spirit exclusively to those who reflect sincerity.” — Dau Voire

For introverts, the quality of connections outweighs their quantity. During my school and college days, I had a big group of friends. I thought it was cool to have so many friends around. But reality hit me hard after I completed my graduation. I realized that it’s more about the quality of people you surround yourself with.

Having an equivalent connection with each of your friends is not possible, rather it’s not necessary. We tend to invest our energies in someone with whom we can be ourselves. We are outgoing with the ones who don’t judge us no matter what.

You can trust us with your secrets

Whether it’s your little dirty secret or some good news that you don’t want to disclose to others too soon, you can trust us, the introverts, completely. We respect others’ privacy as much as we respect our own. And that’s what makes us take your secrets to our grave. Now, this got a bit intense, right?

If you ask me, I have been a ‘Joey’ to be the first one to know her friends’ and cousins’ secrets and then keep them to herself. And when others knew about these secrets, I used to be so proud of knowing them in the first place. But yeah, pretending like ‘Ooh, Wow, that’s incredibly awesome!’ has been a tough task for me in these years.

We don’t rush decisions

I still remember when I had decided to move to Canada, I was not like ‘This idea sounds so exciting. So, let’s do it!’ No, I am not that kind of person. I took my time to evaluate the cost of living, job market, and culture out there.

Despite having my friends and relatives there, I didn’t choose to solely rely on their advice. What worked for them might not have worked for me, and in case, it hadn’t, I didn’t want to blame them for it. I wanted to be accountable for my own actions and that’s why I decided to take ample time to do research until I was fully sure of my decision.

Making decisions in haste is not our cup of tea. We don’t rush things, rather we take time to evaluate and analyze the situation and see if it’s worth making the move.

Our perseverance and patience allow us to take enough time to absorb information, analyze facts, and not make an impulsive decision that we regret later.

To my fellow introverts, it’s never too late to be proud of who you are.

The day I began to live is the day I discovered being an introvert was awesome. — Maxime Lagacé

Being an introvert, if you are penning your thoughts in a journal, leading a team, taking care of your family, or doing anything to stay sane in your own little world, here is a reminder ‘You are amazing!’

I’ll end this story with this gentle note: ‘It’s fine to be an introvert and the society needs more humble souls like us’.