Why It’s So Easy to be Dishonest

If we tell ourselves lies, it becomes easy to lie to others

Years ago I received an email from someone that contained several statements that I knew to be absolutely untrue.

Because some of the statements were about me, I was amazed that the sender could tell such blatant lies to me — and do it in writing where there would be no deniability.

Someone else who received the same message observed that this person was a chronic liar who appeared to genuinely believe the things he said, whether they were true or not.

My point is not to discuss this individual’s psychological issues but rather to address why it can be easy to be dishonest.

One of the things on which the four Abrahamic religious traditions (Judaism, Catholicism, Islam, Protestantism) agree is: Lying is wrong.

One of the Ten Commandments tells us specifically not to lie. The Bible repeatedly tells us not to engage in various dishonest behaviors, whether it’s speaking things that are not true, cheating, stealing, and so on. The Quran describes the rewards of truth and the consequences of lying.

Beyond that is how we respond to deceit.

When we are targets of dishonest behavior, we feel hurt, angry, and betrayed.

And yet — if we are honest with ourselves — we know that it’s easy to be dishonest.

I’m not talking about the type of pathological lying that was in the email I mentioned, I’m talking about the day-to-day situations where we do something that isn’t honest, and how it’s easy to convince ourselves that it’s okay.

The reason we’re able to get comfortable with being dishonest with ourselves is that the subconscious mind believes what we tell it. That’s why affirmations work. Of course, they have to be phrased properly, but that’s another issue.

This is about honesty.

Your subconscious mind does not make moral judgments (those come from your conscience).

Whatever you repeatedly tell it, whether it’s the truth or a lie, whether it’s positive or negative, your subconscious mind will eventually accept as fact, and you will function according to the facts your subconscious mind believes.

When you feed information to your subconscious mind, be sure it’s positive, beneficial, and not harmful to you or others.

Most important, be sure it’s honest.

When you do that, you’ll find that it’s not so easy to be dishonest — and that’s a good way to live.

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My novel, Choices, is a story of forgiveness and reconciliation.