Inspiration and Life

Why It’s Important to Get Over Yourself

Can you really get over yourself?

Who knows what goes on inside our heads? It can be so complex it boggles the mind. The concern, the worry, the doubt, the vanity, the questioning, and so much more. If you are one of the perfect people who never have thoughts of things you shouldn’t, congratulations. You are one rare bird!

As for the rest of us, there is a strong likelihood we need to get over ourselves for our own benefit! Read on to find out why!

“Get over yourself!” defined

One of the best definitions of getting over ourselves is in the Urban Dictionary, which notes:

“Get over yourself (phrase) 1. Don’t take yourself or your problems too seriously. 2. Stop being so self-centered and conceited. 3. Patronizing phrase used to tell someone that you believe they hold too high an opinion of themselves or are behaving arrogantly.” Urban Dictionary

Have you ever asked yourself questions such as:

• Am I good enough?
• Will he/she/they like me?
• Am I attractive?
• Do I look okay?
• What happens if I fail?
• What if I embarrass myself?

If you have asked yourself any of these or similar questions, this article will give you some food for thought. Likewise, you will gain from this article if you exhibit any of the following behaviors.

• Conceit, arrogance, vanity, snobbishness, or pretentiousness
• Thinking too highly of yourself
• Looking down your nose at others, seeing them as inferior
• Treating others with disdain or disrespect

What do you notice about each of the above questions and behaviors? A common thread runs through them — each is all about you! But then, isn’t every question or concern you have all about you? Well, actually, yes. But how strongly you exhibit these tendencies can vary greatly, from healthy to unhealthy.

Since your thoughts originate in your mind, how could they not be about you? Your thoughts about others, good or bad, are still about you because you are the one doing the thinking.

For example, look at the term selfishness and its synonym, self-centeredness. Isn’t everyone on earth self-centered? If you believe you are not selfish, think again. To even think you are not selfish is selfish. Therefore, even the least selfish thought has selfishness in it. It occurs in your mind, you are at the center of it, so it has no other choice but to be selfish. The only way it could not contain self-centeredness is if you cease thinking. Yet the degree of this selfishness is another matter.

Let’s look at your thoughts from another angle — that of self-LESS-ness. What goes on in your mind about a selfless action is still self-centered, is it not? It is about your desire to be selfless. When you perform a selfless act, helping someone, you receive a degree of satisfaction. In this case, satisfaction is a subtle form of pride.

Why get over yourself?

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.” Gautama Buddha (563–480 BC)

Until we get over ourselves, we can never reach our full potential. Sure, everything in life revolves around you, or me in my case. But realize you have control over your mind. The greater the degree to which you allow your selfishness to rise, the more you need to get over yourself.

Since your thoughts occur only in your mind, they come from your very being. They are created by who you have become. From who you are. Ask yourself:

• Who am I?
• What do my thoughts tell me about myself?

If you are not receiving the outcome you want in life, why not take control of your mind and get over yourself? Get over your worries and concerns. Get over your pride and vanity. Why allow such things to limit you? Why let them exist in your mind?

Can you get over yourself?

The problem with getting over ourselves lies in how we view the world and others. If it is a selfish, immature view, you definitely need to get over yourself. If your view is selfless and mature, there is not much self to get over.

Besides recognizing how selfish you are, something else can help you get over yourself. When you come to believe there is something greater than you and your thoughts “out there,” you can lean into it and allow it to change you. Believing in something greater requires faith.

All of us have a measure of faith. Could that something bigger than us be God? Could that “out there” be heaven? That is what I choose to believe.

There is little question that faith is the most powerful force for getting over yourself. It gives you hope. Hope of a place beyond this existence. The hope there is a loving God, with His Son waiting to welcome us to the world beyond.

But what if nothing exists beyond this world? What if when you die, you cease to exist? If that turns out to be true, you won’t know anyway, so why worry about it?

If you want to deprive others of hope, please get over yourself. Is that not a selfish way to be? A world with no hope, no God, and no heaven? Heaven forbid! I will keep my faith and hope in something beyond this life; thank you very much!

Have you ever questioned why all humanity believes in good and evil? Is that not something bigger than ourselves? Was the origin of this thought created only in your mind? Of course not. It is a fact, and it is impossible to deny good and evil exist.

You can see good and evil throughout the universe. Even at the subatomic level, there are positive and negative particles. Why do we equate positive with good and negative with evil? Experience teaches us there is a definite correlation. And none of this is to say anything about the mystery of consciousness that continues to elude us!

What can you do?

“Commandment #1: Believe in yourself. Commandment #2: Get over yourself.” Kristan Higgins (1965-present)

The bottom line is you cannot help but make it all about you. You were wired this way from the beginning. You have wants, needs, desires, lusts, feelings, selfishness, selflessness, love, and more like everyone else.

Yet if you focus too much on yourself, you fail to focus on the more important things in life to your detriment. Until you get over yourself, your life will be out of balance.

The benefits of getting over yourself are many. You will live a far better, more fulfilled life when you achieve it.

Start by focusing on the good and the positive, not the bad and the negative. Strive to become selfless. By doing these, you can start the process of getting over yourself.

You must decide when and where to move out of the way. A few places you may wish to consider working on getting over yourself are in your:

• Work and career
• Relationships and marriage
• Drive to outdo everyone else
• Negative self-talk
• Self-limiting beliefs
• Brashness
• Boisterous attitude
• Bragging
• Thoughts that you are better than everyone else
• Thoughts that you are too good for __________
• Ability or lack thereof of getting things done
• False humility
• Perfectionism
• Inability to delegate

What else would you add to this list? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Final thoughts

Each of us can choose to live life in the land of reality or the realm of imagination. To live in the land of reality, you must come to grips with it. Realize you are unique in what you think, and others may see things differently. Every thought you have is just that, a thought. Unless you do something with the thought, you create nothing in this world other than a bunch of chemicals with neurons firing in your brain.

So why not just get over yourself? Get out of the way of holding yourself or anyone else back. Become a positive force of creating in this world. Stay away from the negative, the bad, and selfishness. Grab hold of your faith and hope and live a mature, good, healthy, fulfilling life!

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Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION

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