He’s got no hair and we don’t care
Why It’s Great To Be Bald
Here’s where baldy comes into his own
Some men might find the fact that they are beginning to lose their hair frightening.
There are several supposed remedies for baldness on the market and these range from chemical applications to weaves; there are hundreds of them available, all offering to give you back your masculinity.
When I was younger it was commonly accepted that if you were losing your hair the best thing you could do to restore it was rub chicken shit into your head.
People actually walked around with a head full of chicken shit.
Let me put you in a situation — you’re in a bar and there’s an attractive girl you would love to get to talk to, but you’re painfully aware that you’re losing your hair and she’s going to see that, and you think it will definitely put her off.
But that isn’t the case, some girls may be swayed, certainly, but in general girls are not stupid. They have different perspectives.
Girls know there’s much more to a man than the number of follicles he has.
OK, if you’re a decent looking bloke and you have a head full of glossy, shining locks you’re going to get looks, glances, even come-and-get-me stares.
But when you get there, and you’re standing in front of her, what do you do if your luxurious hair is all you’ve got.
Are you going to show her pictures of yourself, tell her how good looking you are, and what products you use on your hair? Well, if you do that she’s soon going to lose interest and look for someone more interesting.
And here’s where baldy comes into his own.
He knows that his lack of hair isn’t going to make him an immediate winner, he’s not going to get the looks and offers that the bloke with the Barnet gets (English rhyming slang — Barnet Fair = Hair), he’s going to be the one with all the obvious chances.
But baldy is intelligent and he’s accepted his challenge, and worked on other ways to make him a winner. And what has he worked on?
His personality, that’s what. He’s worked on himself.
He’s made himself into a great conversationalist, he asks questions of the girl, shows an interest in everything she says.
He’s funny, witty, throws a few one liners in that get her giggling, laughing even.
And it’s not long before she doesn’t even remember he’s follicly challenged, and she’s completely forgotten the bloke with the flowing locks, she’s having such a good time with this guy, she’s beginning to think she might like to see him again.
And there you go, if you’re losing your hair don’t get down about it, don’t take it as a negative, work on something else, make it a positive.
A Full Head Of Hair Never Won Fair Maiden (or something like that).
Look at Larry David, a successful and funny baldy if there ever was one. And I bet he’s got girls just queuing up.
In fact here in England, several actors and comedians are shaving their heads completely now, so it’s a fashion statement and it’s catching on quickly which plays right into the hands of baldies everywhere, they have the natural advantage.
English football humour is absolutely the best, and often as I’m stood on the terrace watching a game, someone will start a chant that is so funny that I end up in tears of laughter.
Last season (I’m a West Ham fan) we played a team that had a bald player and every time he got the ball four thousand of his home fans immediately broke into a chorus of
‘He’s Got No Hair And We Don’t Care.’
Oh, and the bloke in the picture above is not me, I’m far superior looking with a much better personality.