Why It Took Me A Whole Year To Publish My First Article

And why I finally did it

On a regular day just like any other day, something was a little different. I had a problem with the Internet and I didn’t know what to do, so I went to scroll through my laptop’s folders, and I’ve discovered a note I wrote nearly 2 years ago about goals I wished to accomplish before I reach my thirties. Everything started from that moment.

I felt like I did absolutely nothing to get what I wanted to achieve. I believed I got what it takes to make it work. I mean after I read plenty of articles about success, listening to podcasts, read books, and watching motivational videos on YouTube I get excited and start putting some actions. Feeling like I’ve got the answers and the tools I need to proceed, and just after a couple of days, I lose interest without knowing why.

For me, there’s always an excuse. And if making excuses was an Olympic sport I would’ve been a world champion.

Years went by so fast that I couldn’t even believe that I’ve reached that age where I thought I’d have a steady job, kids, and a successful business on the side. Society standers got too deep into my head. Persuaded me that’s what a successful person should do, I was wrong.

I was wrong about that like I was wrong blaming my failures on luck, people, time, and not finding opportunities. When the only thing my failures have in common was ME.

Trying something new terrified me. Because I’ve been terrified of failing again, getting rejected, losing people, and not being good enough. So I stopped trying.

Signs of impostor syndrome start appearing after staying at home for months. I didn’t feel like talking with anyone — nobody knows what I’m facing. And to be honest, I didn’t know either.

The hardest part wasn’t overcoming the syndrome, but talking about it, because deep down I felt paralyzed, and I didn’t want to hear anything about “go and do something about it” like it was easy to do. My achievements felt like a stroke of luck and all I had in my mind “They will know I was lying and I’m not good at anything.”

What If

“Go and do something about it” was as simple as it sounds? And life isn’t that complicated and fears are only in my mind?

I had enough !! And This time I will do it for me. I will do it because I love it. I will do it because failing does not terrify me anymore. I will do it because that’s how I learn and grow. I will do it because I’m good for it and the only thing stopping me is me.

It felt great when I put my emotions on paper, and since that time, I knew writing makes me feel happy and feel alive again.

And right from there, I’m hitting that list one by one, turning them into reality and even my mind can’t stop me now

I don’t feel lost anymore when grabbing my pen and a blank paper is all I need to find myself again