Why It is Important to Practice Active Listening as a Parent

Contrary to the popular trope that children should be “seen but not heard,” it is vital to children’s development to nurture their voices.

The belief that children should be “seen but not heard” may appear to be withering away, but the legacy it has left often impacts how we consider what children have to say. While we may know rationally as adults that it is important for kids to feel that they have a voice, it can still be very easy to tend to push what children have to say to the side.

You may be a parent, like me, who works at least part-time at home, so you find yourself automatically shushing your child(ren). Sometimes you just need space to focus. I have been guilty of this too.

Yet I also understand how important, even imperative, it is that we listen to our children. I’ve come to realize that practicing active listening as a parent is crucial, as it helps to build strong bonds with one’s child and helps them learn to effectively communicate their feelings, thoughts, and needs.

Encouraging children to speak their minds and showing them that you truly are there to listen helps children to understand that not only do you care about them, but you care about what they have to say. This affirmation can help children understand and feel more deeply that not only are they loved, but also that what they have to say matters.

Listening to our children helps to support their emotional and intellectual development, and it also helps us as parents and caregivers to understand their needs, concerns, and feelings. In a relationship where children understand that their voices matter and that not only will they not be hushed, but they are supported in articulating their thoughts and feelings, children are most supported in developing their own unique voices. It helps us as parents also to support and guide our children better, sending the message to our children that we are there to help them.

We often tell children, “Use your words,” but we need to also show those children that we are there to listen to them actively and support them in their journey to express themselves fully.

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