Summary

The article suggests that success does not guarantee satisfaction and that true fulfilment comes from living according to one's values and nurturing meaningful relationships.

Abstract

The article "Why Success Isn’t as Satisfying as You’d Think" delves into the common misconception that achieving success equates to personal happiness. It argues that as children, we envision a future filled with freedom and joy, but as adults, we often find ourselves entangled in the mundane aspects of life, questioning where our dreams went astray. The author posits that the pursuit of success is frequently accompanied by increased stress and a lack of satisfaction, suggesting that the true key to happiness is not success itself but the sense of fulfilment derived from living in alignment with our core values and prioritizing meaningful connections over material achievements. The article encourages readers to reflect on their life's values by picturing an ideal scenario, free from basic needs, and to consider what truly matters to them, emphasizing that our happiest memories often revolve around love and connection rather than career or financial success. It concludes by urging individuals to recognize the importance of the present moment and the clues it holds to living a fulfilling life.

Opinions

Success is often idealized as a source of happiness, but it can bring additional worries and stresses that may overshadow any sense of satisfaction.
The article emphasizes that happiness is transient and subjective, and what many people are actually seeking is a sense of fulfilment.
Fulfilment is achieved by living according to one's values, which can be identified by envisioning an ideal life scenario where basic needs are met.
The author suggests that our happiest memories are typically associated with strong relationships and feelings of love and connection, rather than professional or financial achievements.
The pursuit of success can lead to the sacrifice of important relationships and personal interests, which may not be a worthwhile trade-off.
The article encourages readers to actively seek fulfilment in their daily lives, rather than postponing happiness for a future state of success.
It is important to recognize and appreciate the present moments and the people in our

Why Success Isn’t as Satisfying as You’d Think

We’re all caught up chasing the wrong goal.

When you were a child, what did you imagine your life would look like when you grew up? Were you independent? In an office or outdoors? Seeing your friends whenever you felt like it? Being able to fill the bag of pic-n-mix to the top because no-one could stop you?

Chances are you didn’t predict yourself filling the dishwasher, organising the bills, or crammed into a packed train on your commute.

So what happened? Did you fail at life? Give up on the things you enjoyed? Was it all a lie?

How did reality turn out to be a little bit dull?

When we’re children, we see a whole world of possibility. We can’t fathom any reason why we shouldn’t do what we love. We have visions of movie like idealism, laughter and freedom. We expect we’ll have the chance to choose how we live. And in this dream there’s no room, or desire, for the in-between arduous bits that are inevitable.

Children live for fulfilment and nothing else. When we’re young we don’t care for brushing our teeth and hair and all the rest, we’re too busy asking ‘when do we get to the fun stuff?’

The dream vs. reality

As we grow up and fall into a job and a lifestyle, it’s often because it seems like the most logical or safe option to choose.

We chase a career, assuming when we get to the top we’ll have this euphoric moment where we’ll feel content, and finally able to follow our passions — where all of our relationships will fall magically into place.

Then when we do, there’s just more worry, more admin, more stress, and you still wake up every day wondering where the feelings of satisfaction are hiding.

Just like when we were younger, we build up this idea of what the future will look like, missing all the mundane realities that we’re destined for as well.

Does this mean we should give up hope now? Absolutely not. But realising that prosperity comes with its own troubles allows us to appreciate there’s not much use in chasing success alone.

With this in mind, we start to learn that instead of spending 50 years chugging through the dark tunnel in hope of a light at the end, we’d be better off seeking a road which allows us to enjoy the fresh air and view along the way.

Success doesn’t equal happiness.

Happiness is a fleeting experience, it is not a state we can hold onto. Try to define it and it’s different for everyone. Why? Because what we’re describing is something else.

Rather than chasing success, seek fulfilment.

That’s what we’re truly looking for. Fulfilment means we’re living by our values. It explains why being ‘successful’ to others doesn’t always feel that great for ourselves.

Not sure what your values are? The best method I’ve heard was on a podcast with Justin Williams. His suggestion is to picture your life with all the basics like food and shelter taken care of — and carefully consider where you are, who you’re with, what your day looks like.

Try to pin down as many parts of the image as you can. Come back to it a few days later, and soon enough you’ll realise the common themes that keep coming up, and the ones that don’t seem so essential.

If you’re still finding it difficult, try to answer this question: If you found out you were at end of your life, what would your biggest regret be right now?

Think about your best memories

Think back to the times in your life you’ve been happiest. They’re a great indicator of what makes you feel fulfilled. Certainly, for me, there’s a standout commonality between every single one of those times. It wasn't that I was jumping up the career ladder at work, or had loads of money. In fact, some of those times have been when I was flat out broke.

What they all did have though, is relationships with those around me that made me feel loved and connected.

I often talk about how this is the number one feature of those who report highest levels of satisfaction. And when we realise this in the context of success, suddenly slaving away for the top job and sacrificing relationships or interests to get there doesn’t seem like such a high-value plan.

The takeaway

More people than ever are talking openly about their dissatisfaction with the life they’ve built. And it’s no surprise. We fill our lives with so many diversions we barely have time to stop and ask — are we really having a good time?

If we wait for the perfect conditions to fix our current concerns, we’ll be waiting forever. And that will likely lead to us to wishing we’d made the most of the moments along the journey.

After all, the people around you right now, the daydreams you have while emptying the washing machine, the thoughts you try to hide from by watching endless tv series, each hold the clues to how you want to be living.

Finding the values that underpin the image of the way we wish we could live, helps us understand what we need to lead us to fulfilment. We already have all the answers, if we turn off the distractions long enough to identify them.